I have played chess for almost as long as I have played piano. I was once quite a strong player. (Well for two or three years I did little else but play and study chess!) I was never in danger of winning a national championship or getting a Master title but I was better than most players will ever be, ... a contender in weekend tournaments and representing Bedfordshire on a high board.

Either the general standard of play has improved, or my brain no longer functions as well as it used to, but these days I am just a reasonable club player. But I still play regularly in tournaments (about one weekend in six) and though it is at a lower standard than it used to be, I still enjoy the game.

Or at least I did until last weekend.

There I was in Delft (30 miles from Utrecht) in a very well organised tournament, in excellent playing conditions, with interesting opponents, and some fascinating positions

and all I could think was, "I don't really want to be here. I could be practicing the piano"


I don't socialize any more (apart from with other piano students), or read much outside of books on music, or take much exercise, apart from walking and cycling from place to place (I used to swim for an hour a day). I go directly from work to the practice rooms and from there to bed, sleep, shower, breakfast, work, ... and so the cycle repeats

If I had been this obsessed as a young adult I might actually have become a good pianist (I almost wrote 'as a teenager' - but from 13 to 17 I was obsessed and regularly spent five or six hours at the keyboard on a Saturday, and again on Sunday)


Is this obsessive streak a personality flaw, or a useful trait? Am I mentally ill? After all I am unlikely to ever become a concert pianist - not even a very minor one. Or - as I am having so much fun, and enjoying the feeling of my hands becoming faster and more controlled, and learning so much about music - does it matter?

Ask yourself a simple question - " generally am i happy". If the answer is yes then what your doing is OK for you - if not then you need to reapriase - Best of luck

I am not sure if this is healthy or not but I have a similar personality type - really, really driven. If only I had used this energy to forward my management career, I am sure I would be a very rich lady by now! But, work never interested me enough, it was always athletics and now it is music. The best thing about music of course is that one day, I hope to make a living from it - sadly not in performance, but hopefully in teaching.

I think you answered your own question.

I don't personally see the need for worldly goals like "becoming a concert pianist". The unworldly ones are more than enough for me. And judging by the repertiore you mention from time to time, I'd say you'd need to commit that kind of time: if you're nearly at the top of the mountain, why stop climbing?

Phew - I'm glad I'm not the only one!! As soon as I wake up in the morning I want to go and play. WhenI'm driving to work I wish I was playing. I cannot wait to get home at night and start playing. I love it when I'm in the house on my own and can play. I also think why am I not playing the piano when I am doing something else. I'm never going to grace the world's concert halls but I've never got soooooo much pleasure out of anything than I do playing the piano. Si let's just enjoy it and if we are weird then long live weirdness!!

Both - just depends on context!

Absolutely!!

I get up an hour before I need to during the week so that I can practice. I then come to a dead end job when all I want to do all day is play/sing and think of musical things I could be doing. In the evenings I go out to teach, which is great of course! But all the time the students are playing, I want to be playing too!!! I'll never be a concert pianist/singer either..but who cares? I enjoy it, and that's all that matters I try and play/sing again before bed, and during the weekends too if I'm not busy doing other things.

Most books I read now are to do with music..and in particular the life/works of Beethoven

If being so involved with music means we're "mentally ill" then..hooray! Lock me in a seclusion room with my piano and music and I'll be more than happy to be mad!

I have always found my obsessiveness to be instrumental in achieving what I want. I feel it is a facet of perfectionism. I need to have a project, and to do it to the best of my ability, or I feel very bored and disenchanted with daily life. I used to compete in athletics to a high level, and did nothing but athletics for 8 years, 6 days a week. Thoughts of piano never came into a mind. I had to stop running, and I suddenly turned to playing the piano with such force that it must haved seemed as though I had been depriving myself for years. However, the fact that I have the goal of wanting to play certain pieces is all I need to take dedication to an extreme degree.

I don't believe obsession is essential, but I've witnessed it in the vast majority of successful people. It might be a trait; but it might also be a response to early life (if, for instance, approval during childhood was contingent upon success). Some might conceive it as a flaw, but it has no bearing the quality of being obsessive, since this surely has to be a subjective exercise. Feeling fulfilled by playing the piano would seem to make the evaluative exercise otiose. This, too, suggests to me that it is not on the continuum of obsessive disorders, since this breeds only misery. However, I do find that the drive can sometimes be strong enough that you can neglect to be introspective along the way. You then end up fatigued and in need of a rest from overdoing it. In that respect, I've always been happy to be obsessive, but conscious of its limitations.

Happy playing

Hi Mad Tom. Your post interests me because I used to be obsessive about chess too, though I have never been more than a very average club player. If I were any good at the viola or the piano, I would probably be obsessive about it, and I wouldn't see anything wrong with that. What's really sad is being obsessive about something you don't really enjoy because you're no good at it, but hope to enjoy one day if you ever get to be good enough. Since you're already good enough at the piano to make it worth being obsessive about, why not? Go for it, say I.

Dangerous afddictions ? It is quite strange when you think of how people are motivated, preoccupied and driven in the persuit of their goals. Though there are similarities, and sometimes you can have both, Obsessional personality is different from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is a mental illness characterised by intrusive thoughts, fears and ritualised acts. The personality type is highly organised, neat and punctual, and sometimes morally judgemental, but is not marked by unwanted thoughts or ritualised responses. I have OCD and have spent a few spells in psychiatric hospitals over the years, but i do think that in some ways you can try and take a positive from these things. I believe that something has kept me focused on art, literature and music to the point of excluding activities in my free time and weekends which i am often told are 'normal' ie going down the club or boozer and getting 'tanked' while 'going on the pull' and listening to other inebriated folks talking about football or 'celebrities' etc. Not saying i never go out, and i think socialising is important, but sometimes it's just a waste of time which could be put to much better use(practising). However there are people with neither OCD , Obsessive or addictive personality who are fixated on their hobby or goals to a point where it excludes other activities in virtually all their spare time. Or are there ?

I've been thinking about this over the last week or so, since I started to learn Bach's Invention No1. Listening to recordings, humming it, playing hands separate, hands together, bar by bar, then all the way through, dreaming about it... I think you get the picture! Sure it's obsessive, but if that's what it takes to be able to play to a decent standard and enjoy it (It's now beginning to sound a little musical and not so fragmented) then that's fine by me

Don't worry - we're all mad anyway! You only need to worry when you think you're completely sane

I'm EXACTLY the same way with flute and violin
I play for hours, and when i can't (school lessons, work, etc.) i tap the fingerings of my pieces.
All i EVER talk about is when im getting my new flute, what it's like, what violin strings i like, all the different violin bows i tried out at the weekend, how our orchestra broke a Steinway piano ( ), which scales i like best, etc.etc. it's just nonstop 24/7 Much to the annoyance of my friends after about an hour of it... (i then have to force myself to talk about something a bit more normal )
My most common phrase whilst not having a flute to my mouth or a violin on my shoulder, is... 'i want to go play my flute/violin!'
It's not that i'm obsessed in an unnormal way It's not an obsession - just a SERIOUS passion. I just love it so much i can't get enough of music haha

Maybe this isn't normal?
Haha i don't care. I can't help it, i just love it

Speaking as an occasional team-mate (last year he was A team captain and I was B team captain) and more frequent opponent or analysing mate of Tom's when he plays club chess in the UK (though he is MUCH better than me) - What you are worrying about is an irregular verb, as in "I'm dedicated, you're obsessed, he's compulsive/nuts".

To an extent, anyone who has ever achieved anything worth talking about has been obsessive about it to a greater or lesser extent. At the moment you are obsessed with piano: So am I. I suspect in time the obsession will wear off and leave me with yet another hobby for life, like guitar/folk/rock, like golf, like chess, but not so much rowing. I enjoy them. For a while I was obsessive about them. For me, the only difference about piano is that , unlike the others, I drifted away and then came back (after a 34 year gap): This time I think it's serious.

To you, however, stop worrying: Remembert the most important thing is to win and grind your opponent into the dust enjoy yourself. As long as you're enjoying it, it's fine. Sorry to hear you didn't enjoy the chess though. That's unlike you.

I think about playing whilst walking down long hospital corridors at work. It makes me happy though!

The is a piano in the doctors' mess but the telly is also on in the same room, therefore I don't play it so as not to disturb others.

I think i can join the obsessives here. My day consists of...get up, do hwk so i will have time later for music, play the piano, go to school (ie spend most of the lessons 'practising' scales under the tables etc), go to piano/recorder lesson, come home, play the piano, eat dinner, more piano, recorder, forums, bed.



I think you get the picture. When you get to the point when you start thinking sleeping/eating is a waste of time, you know you've got to the obsessive point.

See the Isn't sleeping a nuisance thread Perhaps we should have a new club!