Excuse the dramatic title

But as some of you may know from my complaining in the past, when i get really nervous, my hands go tingly.
Today i was playing the chaminade, only a school performance infront of a very small audience and completely lost the feeling in my hands. it's quite terrifying >_<
i got to the last quarter of the last page, and my fingers just wouldnt move. i just stopped... and my pianist was like '... carry on...' and i just said 'i cant' and ran off crying (haven't stopped since). looked quite random considering that as far as the audience knew i was doing fine!
it only happens when i'm nervous. i played chaminade fine infront of a big audience last week, dunno what went wrong today. i was very very tired and ill, but still...
i'm not so upset just cause i wrecked one performance (although i am a HUGE perfectionist so i'm annoyed) but mainly as i'm realising i really can't be a flautist... there's nothing in the entire world i want more, but how can i when i physically can't play infront of people?
I wondered if it was RSI, but it only happens when i'm nervous (and not even in every performance), + i'm only 16...
i'm just SO so disappointed, annoyed, frustrated, upset, humiliated. i never cry infront of people but i couldn't not >_< flute is completely my life and if i can't be a flautist i don't want to be anything. i can't even describe how disappointed i am.


sorrysorrysorry for the rant
but does anyone have any suggestions? not that there's much to suggest for that

Don't panic, ffliwt! I think you're right that what went wrong today was down to extreme tiredness and not feeling well. It's not as if you've never managed to perform to people - you did it only last week.

Have you tried/are you able to get classes in Alexander Technique? It's aimed at getting you to relax, so that you only use muscles absolutely necessary to your performance. I suspect what is happening when you're nervous is that you're tensing up too much and cutting off the blood supply to your hands.

Whatever the causes of today's fiasco, don't lose belief in yourself - of course you can be a flautist if you want to! Everyone has to learn to relax in order to give of their best and do justice to the music, so don't feel you're the only person in this kind of predicament. I'm sure if you persevere in performing, one day you'll find that it's more like a practice session and you're actually enjoying playing instead of getting so nervous.

I thought it was quite effective actually . Sorry to hear your performance didn't go well but at least it was a relatively small audience and not anything more important. Don't go overboard though, its perfectly normal even for professionals to be nervous. In fact some people would say that if you're not nervous you don't care enough .

I've had a similar problem at times. It might be something to do with tensing up the fingers/hand to such an extent that they can't move or just freeze up on you. You might want to try taking a deep breath before you go on stage then exhaling slowly or just clearing your mind completely before you go on. There are also a few tactics that might help like the Alexander technique or Body mapping.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself so I know how frustrating it is especially when you know just how well you could have played it. If it makes you feel any better even Sir James has had pieces fall apart in concerts before and it certainly didn't stop him becoming a world class professional.

Dont worry about today, everyone gets nervous to varying degrees and we all make mistakes. I remember when I first started off doing performances in recitals my whole body would shake so much that my sound would also shake like a really bad vibrato. It wasnt just solo, happened in orchestral stuff too.

Im not AS nervous anymore, but it still happens.

Im slightly worried as to why you might not be able to physically play, it might be worth going to the doctor about that?

OK, having weird sensations in your extremities - or indeed no sensations in your extremities - is a physical manifestation of anxiety. I get very tingly fingers/hands with a panic attack. In extremes, I can get a tingly face! Slow breathing really really helps me with the physical symptoms.

Being tired always makes things about seventeen million times worse for me. What's something I can breeze through one day, will have me in a complete pile of panic if I'm tired. Ill as well, that's bound to make it worse.

Also, I'm fine with big groups and the smaller the group the worse it gets for me. If I went in to work and got told 'you're presenting X to the department this afternoon', I'd be fine. However, if I go in to work and my manager asks for 'a quick five minute chat' then it's much worse. I'd rather give presentations than have one-to-ones any day of the week! I think smaller groups in some way make it more personal, whereas a bigger group matters less.

So, not a lot of help from me, but just to say I can see how these things would bother me if I'd been ill, tired and with a small audience...

Gosh, i get the exact same thing Whenever i feel REMOTELY anxious, like in the slightest, i find it hard to breathe properly - and get it atleast once a day. Sometimes only slightly, sometimes badly. In the rare occasions that i have an actual panic attack, i get tingly hands and arms and face too

It may seem like i'm overreacting, just 1 bad concert, i know every musician has bad concerts. But gosh it was terrifying and humiliating >_< And i hate to even consider not being able to become a flautist. I'm willing to put in every second of work to succeed - but of course that never pays off due to stupid extreme performance anxiety! >_< It was the first time anything even close to this has happened and it felt sort of completely unreal to be stood there in the middle of the stage, audience staring at me as i just had to stop...

Thanks for the help everyone - made me feel so much better i even managed to get my flute back out (despite my teacher ordering me not to even think or talk about flute tonight and to rest - i really was distraught ) and finished off the piece where i had to leave off Which is good considering that a few hours ago i never wanted to hear the word Chaminade again in my life and was very angry at my beloved flute. I'm still feeling sick with embarassment/extreme disappointment/worry(etc.etc.etc.) but yes... onwards and upwards i suppose!



Only thing i can think is that for my next performance, only choose a short piece. Even like, 1 page long! Then my hands will be fine. (Chaminade is like 5 minutes long - not good for hands going more and more tingly) then gradually build it up.

Sounds like you are hyperventilating (over-breathing) - very easy to do when playing the flute as you have to blow so much air. If you want to stop the tingles etc, have a paper bag handy and breathe in and out of it for a minute or so - works like magic! (Not possible in a performance situation, I know, but maybe just realising that what is happening has a simple physical explanation will be somewhat calming in itself.) If you feel yourself starting to 'go' try concentrating on breathing out for as long as possible and only breathe in when you really have to.
You absolutely can be a flautist - this is just another technical wrinkle that needs ironing out. Nil desperandum!

Thanks SueHM - sounds about right actually, when i'm performing i breathe here there and everywhere, anywhere that i can possibly get a breath in...

Just looking at your signature, I wonder whether playing all those different woodwind instruments with their different breathing techniques might be contributing to the problem. Do you only get problems with flute, or are you affected when playing the oboe for instance?

Just flute. Well, i don't really perform on my other instruments, so i can't be sure. But i've never notcied anything even similar. I think it's cause of the breathing on flute, and the way it's held, and the fact that it's my main instrument i want to play perfectly and am under a lot of pressure to do so >_<
I can't imagine me getting that problem if i was playing oboe, mainly cause i'm not wasting all that air when i blow it (i use a looot of air on flute - it's something i'm working on stopping) and cause oboe is held in a much more comfortable way.

I do sometimes mildy have circulation problems - but only when it's cold. I wondered if that had any contribution, i know it seems the obvious answer to it but... if i only get it that extreme when nervous, surely it's the nerves not 'circulation problems'? (i wouldnt say i have circulation problems as such but my hands do go completely numb and white when it's very cold and it takes ages to get the blood circulation back - the scary part is when my nails go purple x_X!)


I'm feeling much better today about it, and am forgetting about it and carrying on. My teacher says the only thing i can do is learn to control my nerves and do as many performances as possible to get over it. I'm playing in year 10s assembly next week. ARGH. I'm trying to be positive but i feel sick at the thought of it happening again. I'm even worrying about my solo piece on orchestra tomorrow which i WAS looking forwards to before...

Well that makes sense (just flute I mean) with the huge air volumes on flute. Hopefully this is something that will get better in time - good luck with your performance