hi as i have posted before i have formed a band with hubby on guitar a bass player another guitar and three harmony singers and a bongo player instead of a drum kit we play a mix of 60s, 70s and a little 90s music its just a fun thing and up to now i have enjoyed working out flute parts by ear and playing as part of the band


i invited my twin sister her husband my dad and step mum along to watch only our second gig well they were bored rigid and didnt hold back on how the pub was dirty the raffle was bad the bongos too loud etc etc they did say that hubbys guitar playing was good but no comment on flute( maybe i should be grateful!)
i even sang which i have always been to shy to join in before. they have never heard me play my flute before and are not musical but i would have liked them to have enjoyed it.

has anyone had this with people thay really want to be proud of them i feel fed up and quite down about it and vow not to set myself up for a fall like this again.

sorry to moan but formites will understand i hope

I have had it before when I have played in front of my mum or boyfriend. My mum is not musical at all and my boyfriend is a so doesn't understand lots of things... (nothing against drummers!!) Are your family musical? If not then do not fear. I have found my boyfriend is understanding more the more he hears me and others play. If unmusical people listened to a band set up such as yours they might compare it to songs they have heard on the radio etc. and not understand the difference between how long you've been together, live and recorded etc.

Yes it can be disapointing but were you disappointed with your performance? Because really that is the most important thing.

I hope you don't let it get you down too much because it would be a shame to give up on something you seem to have been enjoying. The most important thing is definetly to enjoy your music

A friendly smile might help

Eleanor

Sorry you had a bad experience Monkey-flute How did the rest of the audience react to you all? And what about the audience at the previous gig? And how did YOU feel the gig went? Try and focus your thoughts on positive reactions you had from others, and your own evaluation. I mean, you weren't booed off the stage were you? And did anyone throw beermats at you? Both of these are common scenarios in pubs, even when the musicians are pretty good!!

Sometimes family can be your harshest critics, especially if they don't realise how much you wanted their approval.

Hope this doesn't put you off playing.

I've sent you a pm about similar experiences I have had that, I don't want to broadcast on here.

thank you both for your postings i feel much better now the first gig we did was great a lively pub and at the end people were shouting more flute please so i think we played well the 2nd gig was ok musically but the pub was empty apart from my family and six others that had come along with the band the locals all of four of them sat in the other bar! the land lady liked us but cant have made much cash from the evening .

its a very small pub so i wasnt expecting crowds

we have a gig in a larger pub in two weeks so i will enjoy that more

thanks again for the support it really helps

m0nkey flute

Re-read your signature MonkeyFlute - I think that shows how much you care about your flute and the band

It is really tough when those you care about don't appreciate the things we really care about. It sounds like they didn't like the venue and that coloured their judgement of the rest of the evening.

Deep breath time, that was gig 2. Gig 3 is going to be great.........

hi cjb thanks for pointing this out sometimes i cant see the wood for the trees gig number three is in two weeks and it will be great it has really cleared my mind since chatting on the forums here thank you all

monkey flute

Often family are the harshest critics - they say things to you that if someone else said, you would probably land them one! It isn't always constructive either, especially if they are not musically talented themselves. The only story my mother ever quotes about my music playing is how much nicer my clarinet sounded when Geoff Acton (ex Boosey and Hawkes chief designer) played it!!! at the time I was a spotty faced school girl. She has NEVER said anything good about the rest of my playing even tho' I've gone on to do lots of things that I'm really proud of.

Do try not to let them get to you - as long as you are having fun and no-one actually throws things at you (well, not heavy things anyway!!) then a lot has been achieved and you should feel proud of yourself for getting up there and doing it. Bet your family wouldn't have the bottle!

Hope your next gig goes great and I'm sure there will be many more to follow.

At the risk of bringing back bad memories for monkeyflute I just wanted to briefly resurect this thread. Whilst I'd thought of sending this as a pm I wanted to make my appreciation public.

I was lucky enough to hear most of the 1st set of gig number 3 as it was held at my local. They played really well and looked like they were having great fun. I agree with the comments of the 1st audience.....'more flute!'.

Sorry I couldn't stay for the 2nd set. I'd had a very long day and was needing to get home to bed. I hope it was as successful as the 1st one.

thank you cjb we had a great night it went really well and the landlord loved us we have three more booked with them during the next year. a friend recorded the whole night for us so i have been able to listen back to it and i am happy how it sounds

it was great to meet cjb and put a face to a name

thanks for the great support monkey flute