Hi all

I have been learning a couple of pieces of music playing along with a CD with a clarinet player and with just a backing track. It has been going OK but when I play with a live accompanist, they are insistent that they are taken at a slower speed than I am used to in order that I can properly hear the piano part and that I can get it 100% right. The problem is, I simply can't. The one tempo is so deeply ingrained, I am finding it absolutely impossible to play slower.

Any ideas would be most welcome!

The short answer is that you are the soloist so you dictate the tempo.
Of course if you are working with the accompanist in a lesson your teacher may ask you to play at a different speed for some reason but otherwise it's your performance.
It's possible the pianist might occasionally have some input about this if your tempo makes the piano part unworkable (or unmusical?). Sometimes what works without the piano part doesn't with but this is a point for discussion.
Maybe you need to take some sections a bit slower during rehearsal where it's a but tricky fitting things together?

You really should be able to play a piece at any speed which is slower than performance tempo. It sounds like you learnt the piece at this speed and never really practiced slowly in any depth. The comment about not getting it 100% right from your pianist also suggests that slow practice is needed...

I have had this problem before of being unable to play a piece under tempo and in all honesty the pieces I had that problem on I couldn't play well or do anything different musically with them. I think it's quite a common problem.