Because I'm known for lowering the tone of things round here!

......

Hope this will give you a chuckle, have a good day!!

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.'

'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'

'Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose.'

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:

'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'



Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple... '

The Catholic type supports the masses.

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and

The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.



Have you ever wondered why A, B, C , D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!



(A} Almost Boobs...

{B} Barely there.

{C} Can't Complain!

{D} Dang!

{DD} Double dang!

{E} Enormous!

{F} Fake.

{G} Get a Reduction.

{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !



Send this to all that will appreciate it!

They forgot the German bra.

Holtzemfromfloppen

Bev.

Ha ha - seriously good fun! Cheered up my Sunday afternoon ploughing through the A level marking!!!

You forgot the 'Sheepdog'

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rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction

Fantastic!!!

I probably shouldn't add this but a relative of my aquaintance, a medic, used to write notes in code on his patients files when making referrels for plastic surgery. The last catagory was BE standing for "bloodhound's ears"!

I think you should win the Most Humorous Poster category Amber!

I tried on 16 different shapes and sizes of T-Shirt and Sports this afternoon and not one remotely fitted!
I don't know what I'm going to do - I need new ones for my dance summer course!!
Can anyone recommend any alternatives to M&S and Debenhams?

I think mine would be the Agnostic/Athiest type then...

*gathers up pile of ashes and puts 'em on the compost heap*

Ah - that could solve my fitting problem then - go without !

*will definitely retain my anonymity on the Forums from now on*

You need to go to that really superior place in London, is it Rigby and Peller, I think they have 2 shops. My cousin went (apparently *whispers* she's a difficult size ) and said that they can tell what size you are just by looking!!!

Thank you very much Susie I have just googled Rigby and Peller and found they have stores in London, Brent Cross and Bluewater. They can do mail order but recommend a proper fitting first. Looks like I'll have to organise a day out to a Bra Shop

My Mum once told her friend how much she wanted to get a bra from Fiddler and Pepper. When her friend asked as to when our local solicitors had branched away from law into lingerie, my Mum realised that she had made a terrible mistake with names!

Oh, and buy the way, the correct term for a bra is an "Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder!"

I'm sure mine don't Dang! yet. I can still go without...

Where do you shop if, like me, after surgery you need a lop-sided bra? I refuse to wear a falsie on the small side and when I go on a diet it's always the large side that refuses to shed excess!! I'm wondering if I should buy two sizes and cut down the middle and stitch. Then I could advertise for anyone who is also lopsided but conversly to me! The great new idea - bra-sharing!! Thanks for the laugh Amber!

M&S don't cater for me. Fortunatelly there are places that do.

I suggest if you Dang or more you look up Bravissimo. You may even be lucky enough to have a shop in your vicinity.

R&P are absolutely fantastic. A visit there is an annual treat for me (it is not cheap). I lost a fair bit of weight between visits one time, and the change was just amazing, I hadn't realised I'd been uncomfortable until I got something of the right size!
Bravissimo are great as well, at sizing you, but they are only for DD and above.

Places like John Lewis, Debenhams, etc, are variable - some are good, some not. We have a local independent department store, and everyone in their lingerie department has been on a fitting course run by the parent company of Rigby & Pellar (who also parent company to Freya, Fantasie, and other decent manufacturers!)


Aquarelle - R&P do make to measure, if you can make it to London for fittings...but at £250 for a bra (last time I looked), it's definitely not a cheap option!

I believe many stores are starting to introduce post-surgery bra ranges now. M&S certainly do, as my grandmother purchased a few from there after her operation. As I understand, they have 'pockets' into which prosthetics or extra padding can be inserted.

As to whether they can meet every individuals exact requirements, is another question.

Me neither although probably not for the same reasons.

Why do they have to ask you if something fits on your way out of the changing room in such loud voices?!

Too small around the ribcage for the cupsize.

Apparently according to most lingerie shops bras start at a 32.

Other women have problems in that in places like M&S if you're above an E cup they can't cater either.

So when you have a cleavage and measure a 30, you have to visit a specialist.

Jod you are truly a wonder of nature. How on earth is it possible to fit such a big, wonderful, bountiful voice such as yours into such a tiny ribcage?

Tescos bras fit me perfectly And at only £15 a pop - I am very grateful!!!

I was looking at one of my pupils the other day - not it a creepy way, but noticed that she was completely flat chested, then she stood up and I realised that they were infact next to her navel...

She almost undoubtedly needs a far smaller back size and a correspondingly bigger cup size. See here for a (clothed) example, along with a guide for how to fit yourself - it does not ever involve a tape measure!!

I don't think she was wearing one, they were hardly there. She is quite old, ok, not really old, but nearly 60 I'd say.

I remember seeing a card once, it was a picture of an old man asking an old woman - "Show use yer tits love!" And so the old woman lifts up her skirt...

HA HA AMBER this is a great posting i am most likey the thiftest bra shopping there is and go to primark at 4.00 i go mad and buy two!!!

Ah, yes, that makes it quite different. No matter what you do, they do seem to descend with age...I remember the card you mention well

Thanks Maizie but plus the cost of the round trip I reckon it would be the world's most expensive bra!!

My sister is a size 4, 30DD. I try not to hate her so hard...



There are the disadvantages though, like finding anything that fits.

Ah - I just don't have any at all I just wish they'd be a bit less vocal when suggesting I try the teen section, or "would a vest not just do?"



Primark bras are very good - although I think they've gone up to £5 now

Yikes! How did I end up in here?

I'll make my own way out. Forget you saw me.


Reminds me of the Father Ted episode...

"Not that way for feck's sake the other way!"

Ad libitum, come to Japan! They do have "trainer bras" here as well as the ordinary kind, but who can tell the difference? No, wait, the "real" bras are padded! Or else you can buy the optional gel pads to stick in the bottom...

You can also buy sticky shell-type things that you just stick over Miss Trout and Miss Stout, if you want to persaude yourself that you really are wearing one, without the actual inconvenience!

Japan has a catalogue called Peach John (I wouldn't even dream of considering the implications of that naming...) which is something like Victoria's Secret with Hello Kitty!

I did notice that BHS have bras in up to an F cup now for £15 . Must have a look.
Bev.

Brilliant!!!

My bras all belong to the society of Friends.

Do you mean they quake when you walk Petrat??
Being a little larger than normal is tricky when getting dresses to fit
One has to get one's kit orf around 15 times to find one dress to fit. Such is life.
Bev.

Yes, quakers they are indeed!

When the discussion turns to bra sizes I am always amazed at just how small most women are (compared to men that is). My pretty average chest measures 44" around, yet that is quite puny compared to a lot of men I know.

I think this is where the dressmaking thread came in a while ago!!

Yes! I've seen that card too - it's brilliant!

What are you all on about? Bras? Tie 'em in a knot and wear them round the back of your neck, lovely and warm in the winter...

There's another one similar to that. On the front there's a cartoon drawing of an elderly lady saying, "I might be 80, but there's something I can do now that I couldn't when I was 40......."

Open the card and on the inside she's tied her boobs in a knot.

My chest isn't big enough for that to ever happen, thankfully. I'm most definitely an Almost boobs, but it doesn't bother me, 'cos all those sports acitivities I've done and the horse riding I still do, would be a real pain if I had boobs the size of melons

Another bra joke:

What did the bra say to the hat?

"You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."

Boom! Boom!!

Thanks for this Maizie. I took myself off to M&S in a gap this morning and have returned with some new bras: one back size smaller and two cup sizes bigger. In traditional M&S fashion I failed to find a single black bra in my new size, however.

Descending to the level that this thread has now reached. I presume you girls have heard the old Lancashire joke:

Q (from well-endowed lady): Excuse me sir, can you show me the way to Oldham
A: Personally love, I'd try a wheelbarrow!

<-- Beats hasty retreat

Rather amusing.

I prefer over-the-shoulder boulder-holders.

Not sure what religion this one must be ...

Is there a Vampire religion? or maybe it is merely a Ba(p)tist??

I love the way a better-fitting bra alters not only the model's silhouette, but also her facial expression!