Ok, I am 'supposed' to take my grade 5 exam in March.
When someone says this you would 'expect them' to be at that level and or slightly over.
You would also expect they could, if they wanted, play a few pieces on the violin to 'entertain' friends and family if they wanted to?
or do I have a 'misconception' of what a 'grade 5 violinist' is supposed to be like?
whenever I watch videos on youtube of people playing grade 5 stuff, they all play WAY MUCH BETTER than I do, are they 'really' at a better standard and could pass a grade 7 or 8 exam if they wanted to, or am I just 'disillusioned'??
am I 'fooling' myself thinking I am at or near grade 5? am I 'fooling myself' thinking I ought by now know how to play some pieces at an 'ok' standard and could entertain a bunch of friends if I wanted to?
I think I could NOT entertain anyone, I CANNOT PLAY ONE PIECE without some mistakes in it, nor I can play one piece and say I can play it at a reasonable standard.
After nearly 3 years of playing violin I cannot do that.
Now:
am I just too critical of my playing? and expecting too much? or am I just NOT good enough, or is it just 'reality' that at grade 5 you are NOT supposed to be able to entertain anyone??
am I making any sense here at all?
I have a latest piece of me practicing a grade 5 piece on youtube if anyone of you was thinking 'if only we can see you/hear playing we can comment a bit more'
the piece is Giga by Mascitti.
I don't have at present a link to it as I am at work and youtube is 'banned' at work, but if you search for Giga violin grade 5 maybe I will come up in the search results? or you can search for my profile which is joparkeruk
in this piece I am not satisfied at all, when I play it at speed my bow 'wanders' too much and goes too close to the fingerboard, my intonation at times is not that great and my rythm slows down in a couple of spots (showing my insecurity in the bars that are about to come up). I also make a couple of little mistakes with the notes I play.
Anyway, I would not be happy with it the way it is now, and I would not dare to say that anyone would find it 'entertaining' or good enough.
what's going on?
am I fooling myself here that I ought to be able to do more by now? or is it just supposed to be like this?
sorry and thank you for your patience