I read a story in the paper this morning about a man who married his (female!) piano teacher. The age difference wasn't particular large. It made me wonder though if they are setting themselves up for difficulties in the years ahead - will she nag him if he doesn't do 30 minutes of scales every day? Will he still have to pay her for lessons? Will she sue for divorce if he takes lessons behind her back with another teacher?

Oh, the drama of it all!!

I think all my male students have wanted to marry me at some stage or other...
One said it was only when I actually had a baby that he realised it might not happen!

My daughter's Piano teacher was telling her about a famous pianist (that I hadn't heard of not suprisingly), I think it was someone called Kissin. They live with their Mother and Piano Teacher or so the story went. I did ask if he was dropping hints about moving in, fortunately he has a good sense of humour. Dont know what my other half would have said if he'd taken me up on it

My first piano teacher needed someone to help pay the mortgage, and took in a lodger. She ended up marrying him - and they lived happily ever after.

(Not quite the same though).

When I was at school in the sixth form, a girl fell in love with our A-level Maths teacher. He'd just started teaching so the age difference wasn't excessive. As soon as it became serious, he did the honourable thing and informed the Head, then went to another school. They were married a few years later and I believe they're still happily married.

Whenever I see that Catherine Tate sketch, I always think of them!


Steve

These days of course such behaviour is a criminal offence. I had a friend whose 6th form school teacher made obvious overtures to him - if that had happened these days, the teacher would have ended up in the clink... At the time though, I just think my friend was delighted!!

You know how people post things referring to "their friend" when in fact they mean themselves...

How can someone write legitimately about a friend if they wish to avoid such aspersions as those voiced above being cast?

Are you sure? Flirting with a sixth form student is gross professional misconduct I agree, and he should be sacked, but not necessarily illegal, surely?

I though that sort of thing was only strictly illegal under 16.

The case in our school was over 20 years ago and as soon as they realised they were in love, the teacher was very open and honest about the affair, immediately informing both the Head and parents, before leaving the school to avoid attracting gossip and bad publicity. She was 17 and he was about 22. It may seem wrong today, but I remember it was all handled in a very mature way.

Steve

Anyone else (oh dear - this dates me!) remember the Doc Morrissey and Reggie Perrin sketch where they both in turn described their physical problems in terms of 'my friend' ?

Confutatis, sorry - I don't know !

The law changed a few years ago in the UK... if you undertake a relationship with someone you are in a "position of trust" over (e.g. schoolteacher) then 18 applies, not 16...

interesting point of view!
If we don't know the full circumstances of the 'case' how can infer or imply that it is 'wrong'? Perceptions change over time but that doesn't make things 'right' or 'wrong'. It's usually the Do-Gooders who impose their ideas because they think they have the right to set themselves up as pillars of righteousness. Look into their lives and see what horrors may be uncovered!

In that particular case, I saw no problems whatsoever.



I know exactly what you mean!

Steve

One man's "Do-Gooder" is another's "cultural morality"...

debatable
"do-gooder": a well-meaning but unrealistic or interfering philanthropist or reformer. Often seems to imply that because of their frequently arrogant disregard for anyone else's view and feelings they never do any good anyway
in other words, commonly a pain in the neck ...

Well, illegal or not, a lot of people turn a blind eye to it nowadays. My maths teacher from year seven married a girl he'd taught A-Level maths - under a year after she'd left the school. She, apparently, used to gossip about her love life in the common room, so it was a pretty open secret! The teachers all knew about it...

Perhaps they even 'condone' it... Assuming they're not Christians, obviously.

Apparently it's a bit of a hot issue amongst the profession at the moment: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7653326.stm

i had a friend, well i used to be friends with her, who now has a boyfriend whos in upper 6th (we are year 10) , the school have banned him from the premesis. They like to make it known that every night they are at it like rabbits.
(our school, a catholic one, is next to a county school, and the 6th formers have classes in both schools)
needless to say, they frown upon it!

My old piano teacher married her a level maths teacher, the age gap was 15 years though... he still taught at the school and left this year.

I don't think there's any need to be rude. I'm perfectly well-aware of the meaning of condone, thank you.
I can't quite understand why you're choosing to take offense at everything I say.

dont worry, you arent the only one, Lucky

If it happened to be the stunningly beautiful music teacher from my days at secondary school, then it would be a very good idea.

It's a better idea to marry them before you start learning: that way you get your lessons free.

Isn't that so, Mad Tom?

oooh, don't be fooled by the outside MT !!

The grandmother of a friend of mine taught the violin in her youth, and ended up marrying one of her pupils, i.e. my friend's grandfather. Shortly after they married, he bought her a Guarneri.

I think this may explain why the friend in question doesn't want clarinet lessons - too much pressure and historical precedent

Ahh. 'twere the French mistress (why did they use that term?) when I were a lad. Phwoar.

I learned the flute for a very brief period in the sixth form, and my flute teacher was extremently attractive. I gave up for several reasons, one of which was that playing made me dizzy. Perhaps, in retrospect, it was the teacher that caused the dizziness and not the playing?

Maybe it was

I'm glad I don't fancy my teachers, wouldn't be able to concentrate on the music
Then again I can't fancy my piano teacher, although she is a lovely looking lady ( whispers, she may be reading this), because she is a girl.

"is it a good idea?" says the title.
Maybe the risk is in the marrying, not in the fact it's the teacher

How very charming of you of you to share this little snippet of information with us - for the past few week I've had the impression that you might be developing a streak of modesty!

That would be the english teacher then

Oooops!

W

Modesty? Moi?
You must have me mixed up with someone else...

what part, what behaviour is criminal? marrying? liking a pupil? not clear.

None of these per se, but the marrying bit implies a certain type of relationship, which certainly is a criminal offence under the recent statute changes...

are you saying that statute changes prohibit teachers marrying their pupils....? at any age? whatever the circumstances?

No. This is the kind of thing which is illegal these days: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/suffolk/7403367.stm.. whilst in the past such behaviour would be (rightly) frowned upon, these days it can land you in the clink, on the offenders register, banned from teaching etc. etc.

thank you.
I understand better now ...

Unfortunately the Press item implies that kissing is perforce a sexual activity, doesn't it? And it is all a reflection of the modern culture of sledge-hammer to crack a nut, 'must never happen again' ....

of course I am not saying that wrong behaviour can be right (before anyone jumps in ! ) but from that newspaper article no one can tell what really happened, even the jury cannot - in fact, only two people really know, the teacher and the pupil.

I wonder why a 17 year old was "drunk"

possibly an excess of alcohol ???

do you know, maggiemay..... I really hadn't thought of that. No, honestly - that hadn't occurred to me as an answer

Well no not really. The report states the teacher was "found guilty of engaging in sexual activity with a child while in a position of trust". So it was the court who decided this kiss was "sexual".

I think it's all down to the type of attack. A legato "hello" kiss to the cheek is probably OK, but "tonguing" is right out.

exactly .... I agree with your second paragraph.
But the other part is that I guess, put me right if necessary, that the "court" or indeed the "twelve good men and true" were not at the party at the time ?

If the "court" or "twelve good men and true" had to be at the scene of an alleged offence, there wouldn't be much chance of convicting anyone of anything would there? I assume they considered whatever evidence was presented as is usual.

maybe the girl had the better and more eloquent advocate

Well that's how it works. But who says the prosecution was acting on behalf of the girl?

Oh dear, I can see the headlines tomorrow.

"2000 clarinet, sax and oboe teachers helping police with their enquiries"



Steve

They should have practiced safe sax!