My favourite has got to be.....


Q. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Just one...... but only if the light bulb wants to change.



Which versions do you know, and which is your favourite?


Ambs x

How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one - she holds the lightbulb and lets the world revolve around her.

---------------
Nothing personal against any sopranos.....

I'm sure I've posted some of these before, but never mind. Remember, Amber (that's AMBER) asked for these...

Q. How many clarinettists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it takes ages to find the right bulb.

Q. How many pedants does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Change - or replace?

Q. How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to do the job and nine to EITHER say the bulb is too high for her OR kick the stool from under her.

which of course leads on to

Q. How does a soprano change a light bulb?
A. She holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Q How many folk singers does it take to change a light-bulb?

A At least three - one to change the bulb and the others to sing about how wonderful the old one was.

And this is all the thanks I get for starting a humourous post....!

[storms off angrily, and promptly trips over her full length rhinestone and sequinned evening dress, chips her nail polish (grrrr, it took my beautician five hours to get those nails that perfect), messes her perfectly
coiffured hair, bursts into tears and refuses to make any more appearances]

Slightly off topic and will probably be censored and get me a warning but her goes.......

......no on second thoughts it will have to be by PM - stand by Deborah and Amber!!

Love it Stu!

He he

Ambs x

PS. Yup, I think you were right to PM rather than post it publically.

<checks PM box>



Amber darling, you will of course have noted that I sent myself up in each of my pathetic attempts at humour earlier. Now, twist your head round a little more and lift it a little higher for the perfect flounce.

oh do share! pretty please ??

Stu, you heard the lady.......

PM sent!

ta !

How many dyslexics does it change to make a ticklybub?

Theer - one to hlod the ticklybub, and the rothe tow to trun the moor adourn.

Steve

Q - How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

Q - How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A - Change???!!!

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they have opposable thumbs!

Ok, ill tie myself up to the post, you go load the gun.

I used to know loads of the musician ones. The only one that tends to stick in my mind though is the:

How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, one to change it, one to say how he could do it faster, and one to stay how Hendrix could've done it better...

In the vein of BS bingo..... Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.



And what about your pets, what might they think......

Q. How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to standard.
A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
A4. Rottweiler: Make me.
A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please!
A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little cluster...
A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE
STAFF.

that is great Amanda.
Thanks

Brilliant!!

Deborah's nicked my favourite one (first one on her post)

Q - How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Only one, but it takes at least three light bulbs.