Hi everyone

Would really like to hear other parents/teachers opinion about the decisions we make for our childrens future.

My son is 7 and is very musical according to his violin and piano teachers.
He has weekly lessons in both and enjoys it very much.
I have heard a lot of comments like "he has not got a childhood" etc.
I work full time and only have a little time in the evening to fit dinner and practice.
I was thinking about specialist music school, however, I have a lot of doubts..
I know that with our regime I can not help enough/support him enough to achieve his best.
However, specialist music school means I am deciding his future at the age of 7-8 which is a dreadful thought.
He is generaly bright and is interested in lots of other things.
How can you tell what is the right thing to do?
Is there an alternative to specialist school?
How can I tell whether it is worth channeling him into music professionally or leave it as a nice hobby?
Would really appreciate all opinions/experience.

Anothermother

As a parent and teacher, I would say 7 is way too soon to be thinking in terms of specialist music school. Let your son develop at his own rate, and be guided by his instrumental teachers. Time enough when you are thinking about secondary schools to start worrying about specialisation. It depends to some extent on where you live - is there a specialist school near to you? It is possible to have consultation lessons to see if your child is suitable for this type of education, but however good he is, I think it is too soon.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but my initial reaction is - he's only seven!

I still had an imaginary friend when I was his age.

There are alternatives - like when he next has to change school, do some investigation into what different music departments are like in different schools.

Even if he went to a specialist music school, it's my guess that he would still need to practise at home.

"He is generaly bright and is interested in lots of other things." So, in my opinion, please don't restrict him. Encourage him by all means, but not just in music. No doubt other people will have a different opinion to mine and I might be shot down for this post but I just feel that in this day and age, and with our education system being as it is, seven years old is a bit too young for deciding the 'fate' of your child. It might be a phase... Then again, it might not be.

(Incidentally, I'm only a student so you might not even be interested in what I have to say. Thought I'd say it anyway though!)

Thanks for your reply.

I suppose the nearest specialist school to us is Wells , but still would have to move if he was to go there.
They do music awards from the age of 8. And when the time comes to secondary schools he could be competing with kids who were educated there already for 3 years...
I was thinking about a year from now when he is 8 (providing he's still keen of cause).

As for "he is only 7", and having imaginary friends, I think he's got one too, and lots of real ones.
However, this does not stop him from playing Mozart 545 he learnt by ear for hours.
It's is not a question of pushing him , it's more about not doing damage

I'll leave it to more experienced people to help you then. But...

In another thread you've said that 3 weeks before his (presumably grade 1) exam this term he couldn't sight read and wouldn't sing?

Hi Anothermother,

I was just wondering if it's possible for you to go to the school in Wells and check them out? Speaking to administrator/s and probably observe the kids there. The administrator might also open up other issues that you might not be aware of as well. Also, by visiting them, it might give you a good idea of how the kid's life is there like.

This is just a thought. I know that our kids have a long way to go and guiding them is a trial and error thing (I must say there is no sure answer to this... only time will tell) and we all want the littlest damage if not none.


Good luck!
Mummy

No - it was grade 3. And he would not sing from being embarrased, not because he cant

Hi there,

We are a couple of years further down the road than you - my son is 9, and progressed very rapidly on the clarinet.

We looked at the possibility of sending him to a music school - Purcell is 10 minutes away from us, but as he is a bit of a scientist, we didn't want to close the door on his academic studies either, and Purcell have a 50% music curriculum. Most of the major music colleges have junior departments - this has proven to be the ideal solution for us - he does normal school in the week, and music all day at the Royal College on Saturdays.

Burl

That sounds like a good idea! I only knew about Royal School of Music in London.. Are there different brunches of Royal College in uk? Will definately research this on the internet. Does your son study different aspects of music, does he have his main instrumental lessons there as well?

My daughter attended the Junior Department of a leading conservatoire for several years before moving to a specialist music school. In terms of quality of teaching, overall musical experience and value for money, the specialist school wins hands down, without question.

Hello Anothermother - and welcome to the forums.

It can be quite daunting having a musically talented child can't it?! As parents we are so desperate to get it right that choices such as the one you mention can be agonising.

My daughter is now considerably older than your son (she is 19 and has just started at university) and we have travelled the road you are now starting. She also started two instruments quite young and was committed to her practice from a very early age. We did not consider the specialist music school route until she was 11 and in the end opted not to go that route as we were concerned that she would not receive as academic an education as we felt she needed. We opted for the local (independent) grammar school (with the aid of two scholarships) and it worked well for our daughter. Having said that, the headmaster was a musician so music played a very important part in her school life!

With very careful organisation our daughter managed to keep up her levels of practice throughout secondary school and had obtained her ATCL diploma on one instrument and Grade 8 on another (both with distinction) by the time she was 16. She also managed time for friends and other interests as well as coping with a serious and debilitating health condition. So it is possible to achieve very highly in music as well as doing well in other fields.

There are several points that we considered when making our decisions and I thought you might find it helpful to hear of them. The first thing we asked was whether our daughter was really good enough musically to be specialising that early. There were several children we knew who were Grade 8 standard by the age of 8 or 9 - our daughter was not that advanced. We also asked ourselves whether boarding school would suit her and whether the emotional effort she would require to cope on her own at 11 would take its toll on her music and if so, for how long? We were concerned about the academic standards at some of the specialist schools (we are in a different part of the country so Wells was not an easy option for us) and whether if she did not ultimately go into music whether we would be damaging her prospects elsewhere.

One thing we did strongly consider was the Junior departments of the Music Colleges. These run on Saturdays and offer a wonderful musical education for talented youngsters. They could almost be described as a half-way house between the specialist music schools and an ordinary school. It could well be worth your while investigating these. There are also a multitude of music courses held in the school holidays at various venues where talented children can make music and meet like-minded children.

Good Luck with your decision - please keep us posted on what you decide.

Sorry about the rather long post!

Celloma

several things to consider.

Going to a specialist music school won't necessarily mean that your son will have to follow music as a career. Many do but quite a number end up doing something completly different and I can imagine at Wells he'd get a good academic education as well.

However how well would they tackle the things you feel your struggling to cover. At a young age practising can be an issue and you'd need to check how good the practise supervision was otherwise he's not going to make the best of the opportunity.

Is he happy at his current school? He may not want to move if he's happy where he is. Have you asked him if he's happy with the way things are going?

Are his teachers happy with his progress? Have you talked about it to them? You may, despite your worries, be doing all that is needed.

As he is young you have plenty of time to investigate the options. Visit any school or junior department you're interested in. Check what your local schools have to offer as well. As one person has already said you can ask for an advice audition from the music schools and junior departments to see how he's progressing and to find out if it might be the right environment for your son at some point in the future.

Some children thrive in music schools from an early age others don't.

Whatever you decide good luck and I hope he keeps enjoying his playing.

Hello AnotherMother

I empathise with your situation. I've long agonised over this, wondering whether a specialist music school would be the way to go for our musically inclined daughter. I worry about whether I'm doing enough in providing her the opportunities and the challenges that she needs and craves. She's just started Senior School (Yr 7) and we've now come to a decision (I think!) that possibly she's a little young to be sent away from home. She still needs the stability of a home life on a daily basis. Knowing her, she would probably love boarding school and thrive in a musical environment. But, I think its still too early for her to limit her choices in life. She's very academic and enjoys a range of subjects, especially Science but also loves languages, Art and Writing. This is why we're sending her to a selective academic school where music is not a priority but the academic work is at a high level. Although, this makes finding enough time to practise a challenge, but at the moment, I think we're finding the right balance on most days. Like many other parents on this forum, we've gone down the Junior Conservatoire route and its working pretty well so far for her. She also plays in a few other ensembles/orchestras during the week locally, and plays in some national ensembles during the school holidays. However, its an ongoing debate and will possibly raise its head now and again every time there is concern about fitting music around the rest of our busy lives. We very well might decide that she'd be better off at a specialist school when it comes to Sixth Form but we'll see.

I would say that every child and every situation is different and only you can decide whats best for your child.

Good Luck! Its not an easy decision.

There's plenty of time for specialist music school and anyway wouldn't it be better to leave it until he's 11 and have something of an imput into the choice? Make sure his teacher is the best you can possibly get, support and encourage without being pushy, give him loads of opportunities to play in ensembles and orchestras and take him to musical performances of all kinds to help keep him inspired. But don't forget that showing musical talent at this young age doesn't necessarily mean a musical career is the best possible thing for him.

My son was showing an unusual precocious musical talent at that age but he now wants to do something completely different and I'm happy with that, as long as he's happy and fulfilled. I daresay if I'd tried to shoe-horn him into a musical specialist school at that age he's be resenting me for it by now because he would inevitably have missed out on other things, and he would have been too young to have made that kind of choice for himself.

I think we need to be very careful to see the difference between what we want for out children and what they truly want (and I daresay need) for themselves.

I would imagine you get an outstanding academic education to go with the excellent music at Wells, but 7 is a bit young to be wrenced away from home - I'd be too selfish to let my son board before he was 14 or so.

In London, there is the Royal Academy of Music in Marylebone, the Royal College of Music in Kensington, and the Guildhall School near the Barbican (City of London)

I think the Royal Northern College may have a Junior department, but I'm not sure. There are also conservatoires in Birmingham

At the RCM, you get main and second study (also 3rd possible) music theory, chamber music group, orchestra, choir. It's almost a full day for most kids, and as they get older, they fit even more in! My son is quite tired by the end of the day, but he wouldn't miss it for the world. It has provided him with just the right amount of musical activity in the week to go with his daly practice, without overdoing it or interfering with his school work.

Best of luck to you and your son in making your very hard decision together.

Burl

I know two men in their 60s who were educated at cathedral schools from the age of 6 or 7, and the musical training they received was wonderful. They grew up feeling it was just as natural to be able to sight-sing as to read, and because the instrumental standards were so high they achieved brilliantly. One of them chose to go into computing for a career, but he has still been leader of the local symphony orchestra on violin and can sightread any accompaniment you care to give him on the piano. He also sings in local choirs where his talent is invaluable.

If I were you, I'd arrange to look round Wells and see what you think. Waiting until age 11 is all very well, but your son will not make up the junior years he's lost, and music is a competitive business. You do need to be sure that he would actually want to do a lot of music though; it's not for everyone, but can really benefit the very musical.

I have done the Junior Conservatoire route twice now (eldest at TCM and youngest at RAM) and think it does work for some children. It is just as much a commitment in parent's time and finances as anywhere else. And you DO have the advantage of your child studying with excellent professors and like minded children with less disruption to the family life during the week.

When I first approached a variety of Junior Departments about ten years ago, at an open day at Trinity Juniors, the then Head of the Junior Department (now deceased) said quite firmly that less than 10% of the students at most of the Junior Departments go on to take music degrees, or have music careers. He added that this continued to baffle many parents who felt they had wasted their time and money at the Junior level.

He reminded us as parents to be prepared to recognise that at 18 when our talented musical prodigy is due to leave the JC, s/he could be 'sick and tired' of playing in a competitive environment and extremely reluctant to consider musc as a professional career. However many do continue to play in amateur orchestras and ensembles for the rest of their lives. I have held these wise words in mind so that I am not surprised (disappointed) when my youngest says she wants to join a commune or veg in her room for several years

So I would ask you not to forget this whilst you are investigating a possible commitment to a Junior Conservatoire.

If you do choose this route I would advocate your child has a Consultation lesson with a member of staff before you fill in an application form. All the Junior Depts are different and you should visit as many as you can to see which may be suitable for your child. We lived close to TCM in its former premises and now live close to RAM so ease of access was a priority. We also worked out that, at the time, the price per week was not far off that of a private teacher (in London) for one hour, whereas at a JC, in addition to the private tuition the fee also included musianship, theory, choirs, orchestra and chamber groups.

Sorry for the rambling response but I was interupted several times!

Hi Celloma

It sounds like you've done really well supporting your daughter !
I think being a mother of any child could be daunting! I have older children at university as well and they do tend to blame you for one thing or another (just as we secretly blame our parents sometimes ).
"Being a mother is a never ending guilt trip"..
I really appreciate to hear from other parents who took music seriously and helped their children on the way.
Despite of general dislike for parents who "push" their children, it usually comes from people who let their kids eat crisps on the sofa while watching TV for hours..I did "push" my older son academically and it paid off in him getting a scholarship in a very academically competitive school, getting to a top university and hopefully will lead to more satisfying life whatever he does.I also know grown ups who really regreat not being taught music properly as children (may be I am one of them ). I do hope I will learn a lot on this forum from other parents! Does your daughter still play/enjoy music?

All the very best

Hi

Thank you for f or your reply!
I am sure your 18 year old will grow out of this (by about 20 in my experience,with boys it takes longer).
What is TCM please?

Like many of the parents responding I am the mother of a musical child. Daughters musicality wasn't really discovered until towards the end of year 6 and even if it had been I doubt that I would have gone down the specialist school route. We have a huge advantage in Chethams is probably as close to us as her current High School so no need to board.

The reason I wouldn't have gone that way is quite simply that I think it's too early to decide and I want my daughter to make the decision as to what specialist music education she gets when the time comes.

The big benefit of not attending has been her ability to try out lots of instruments and persue them to a high standard. I don't think this would have been allowed . She also switches from Jazz to Classical on instruments something else which may have been difficult.

The downside is the most difficult music teacher in her high school that you could image and the constant frustration it causes. If daughter wasn't otherwise happy and doing well in other subjects then it might be worth moving her but she's got friends there and is settled so we will live with it until the end of this year.

The more involvement we have with Chets and RNCM I know which one I would be advising when the time comes. At the moment both her Piano and Oboe teachers are excellent and there wouldn't be any benefit from going down that route. I should say the benefit wouldn't out weigh the loss.

Your son is 7 how long has he been playing? What standard is he? If he's only grade one on both his instruments I would think it would be too early to tell how musical he is or is likely to be. I don't think waiting until 11 will hold him back at all. Just ensure you get really good teachers.

A good move at the moment if he's not already doing it might be to get him in an ensemble of some description.

The London Conservatoires with Junior Departments on Saturday are:

TCM - Trinity College of Music in Greenwich - Lovely grounds visit it by boat! One of the oldest Junior Depts
RAM - Royal Academy of Music in Marylebone, London
RCM - Royal College of Music in Kensington near the Museums
GSMD -Guildhall School of Music and Drama in the Barbican, London - Very good reputation

Others are:
Birmingham Conservatoire
Royal Scottish Academy of Music & Drama
Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama in the Castle ground in Cardiff, great facilities

Not sure of others that may have Junior Departments attached. Do look at all the websites and visit as many as you can on their open days. Do book a consultation lesson. You are asking whether you child is good enough to be considered as suitable for the training that a Junior Department provides.

Many of the students travel from very far to get to the JD on Sat. One I know travels in from Isle of Wight and several from the midlands but they are teenagers.

Costs in those cases do add up.

My cousin went to Chets then onto RCM where she survived for a term, and believe it or not to the great disgust of her parents jacked it all in! But thats another story


Sorry didnt mean to sound so cynical, my eldest went to TCM Juniors years ago she is now a professional singer based in Europe. The youngest one at RAM is 16 and loves it. The other two in between were never that interested in music so we didnt even go down that route it was such a non-starter!

Speaking as a non-parent, I'd say that one of the features of Wells is that there are non-music specialists as well as musicians, and they board as well, and are likely to be from backgrounds where boarding at a relatively young age is commonplace. Whether that is an advantage of the place or not depends.

I think the indicative standard for all the specialist music schools and junior conservatoires is G5 at age 11, but they go on potential more than achievement. That would compare to an approx G1-3 range at age 11 in most local authority music services. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

Wells is a lovely school with lots of opportunities for sport, academic work and just being with friends. The musical environment is fantastic. There's a mix of day and boarder pupils. Everyone's circumstances are different. Have you also considered the chorister route - think they have trials coming up for children in roughly years 3-6? Go and have a look around if you're not too far away. If you are near one of the junior conservatoires, also worth considering as an option if you can fit it into your busy schedule.

Hello

He has just taken G3 on the piano (havent got the results yet) having started lessons just over a year ago.
He will do violin G3 this spring (teachers suggestion).I have been looking at ensembles but there nothing I can find for his age locally





Thanks very much for such a detailed answer! I guess for us it would be between London, Birmingham and Cradiff - (London being probably too expensive to commute every week).

I hate to push my way into a thread in which I probably have very little authority, but I did various activities other than music when I was seven, and I went off many of them when I'd reached ten, and have barely touched them since in some cases. What if they'd sent me to a special school for XYZ when I started to show a fanatical interest, only then for me to be deeply unhappy because not only had my interest waned, but I was surrounded by people who were deeply enthusiastic in this area, with little interest in any of my other pursuits?... It is quite remarkable as to how much one changes; I'm not sure you'd recognize me as the same person these days. As much as your son sounds very talented, if he takes to things as readily as this, might he take to something else in a year or two with the same rapidity?

I did get their prospectus.The fees could be a big problem though.. "specials" pay nearly as much as day fees in addition



This is exacly my thoughts as well. Music's a bit different though, it is competitive and takes lots of hours of practise to succeed professionally.

Your son is doing very well for his age considering he's only been playing a short time.

Have you asked your local music service what groups they run at arts centres. The ones in our area are based on standard not age and there is something from Grade 1. There are several string groups covering Suzuki and grade levels.

Good luck with the choice you have to make and I hope that your son continues to enjoy music making.

Hi Another Mother and welcome!

I have an 8 year old daughter who is happily bumbling her way through piano and violin lessons/exams. She's thoroughly enjoying the process, loves her teachers, and has fun in her lessons (both teachers allow her to do a spot of gymnastics or dancing when the moment takes her ). I wouldn't want it any other way at this stage.

Having started so young, the foundations for musical achievement are there. All I want is for her to have the basic training to take further should she so wish. Music colleges may offer more opportunities for musical development, but it's a huge extra commitment for a young child.

The demands at school are greater than ever and weekends should be about relaxing. Both Miss Ross and mw1 have been there more recently than myself - and both are advising you to think very carefully. If you're lucky enough to find a school with a balanced musical curriculum, that gives you the best of both worlds.

BTW I'm curious to know how many of the Forum parents come from a musical background themselves. I'm an adult learner and managed to get to grade 5 piano in 2 years (heading that way for violin also). I think it gives you perspective on what you are asking of your child......

Hi Anothermother,

Thank you for your comments.

Yes, our daughter does still play and enjoy music - it is very important part of her life. She would have liked a career performing- but unfortunately her health will not allow this (she has uncontrolled epilepsy) so she has had to overcome that disappointment. However, she is reading music as one half of a joint honours degree and tells me that she is having a wonderful time.

I, too have been on the end of comments about pushy parents but my daughter assures me that she did not feel pushed in any way. We do have an ethos of hard work and self discipline in the family and she tells me that this has stood her in very good stead already at university. I do believe that studying music teaches much, much more than just the music!

If you are considering holiday courses for your son, you could consider Pro Corda (they have a good website that will tell quite a bit and are very friendly on the phone). He is just coming up to the right age to start and if he were to attend a course, it would be a taster for him of being away from home and being involved in music for several hours a day. Our daughter went on her first course with them when she 12 or 13 and continued until she left school - she used to count the days until the next course!

All the best
Celloma

I live near Wells and it is a good school, with a good reputation , not just for music. My friend has just sent a child there, who is not a specialist musician but because the opportunities for music are just so varied. Plenty of non-musical local children go there because the education is good. Another friend of mine who is a child pyschiatrist and knows most of the local schools, says it's a great school.
I would go to look at it. At 7, the children don't go on a different timetable if they are musicians. You would not be narrowing his options.

And as Wells you say is nearest your place, it wouldn't hurt to ask for an appointment and for an observation period, probably bring your child with you and let him get the feel of the place as well. More info, specially first hand ones, on the prospective school/s might make your decision-making much easier.

Good luck and hats off for being attentive to your son's talents and potetials.

Mummy

Absolutely forget about the idea of specialist music school for the next five years at least - put it straight out of your mind. I speak from experience. We have a child at music school and it was definitely the wrong decision. Our child is happy enough and progressing fine at music, but is doing NO BETTER than he would have at a junior conservetoire or simply with a good teacher. And the cost is huge: limited academics (his academics have suffered), putting up with boarding, child being influenced by peers rather than his family and, in our case, a hefty bill for school fees (yes we get funding, but we are still paying over £3000 per term). On top of all this, if you were to send your child at age 8, he/she would be a freak with very few children in the same age group (like one or two max). That is NOT a normal or wholesome environment for a child. SO FORGET IT.

We all get a bit hyperactive and obsessive worrying our children aren't getting the top musical opportunities, but TRUST ME, it is a mistake to send a child to a music school below the age of 13 (16 is better). They will not be at a disadvantage applying later, eg at high school age - such schools are looking for genuine potential.

I wish I could give you a good shake and a slap on both cheeks! We've got a child in the system now and wish we could get him out.

You have obviously had a bad experience (and I have heard of others) & you're quite right to point out the pitfalls, but it can be good for some children. I know several children who are, or have been recently (now at conservatoire or uni), at specialist schools & absolutely adore it, so it does depend on the child. They have also done very well academically, although they do less subjects, & often get offered places at top unis (including for non-music courses), as well as at conservatoires. I wish I'd had the chance!

I'm not against specialist music schools. I'm against sending children to them too young - there is no sport, incidentally, something I forgot to mention. I'll admit that there are a few freaky kids who are fine at these schools when they are 8, but it really is not something to aspire to unless they simply cannot fit in in a normal environment (eg if they are being bullied). Later on, it's a completely different story. As I said, from 13, it's ok. From 16, it can be fabulous.

Thats a bit harsh - If you read my initial post I was asking for other people's experience , no physical violence! Dont forget, whats right for one child may not be for another. As for being a freak - its a matter of opinion .. An urge to slap a stranger on both cheeks sounds a bit freaky to me

Is there a reason why you can't get him out? I am interested to know whether you are tied in once you choose a specialist music school or if the same options regarding changing schools (ie vote with your feet if you don't like it - I've done it for my daughter once, scary but so worth it!) exsist in the system.

You had such interesting insights, why did you spoil it with that un pleasant remark at the end, it completely distracts from the valid points you have raised. Do re-read your posts before you hit the post button.

[/quote]
You had such interesting insights, why did you spoil it with that un pleasant remark at the end, it completely distracts from the valid points you have raised. Do re-read your posts before you hit the post button.
[/quote]
Gosh, sorry everyone, I was only joking at the end. I meant a slap on the cheek as a kind of splash of cold water to wake you up before someone else steps into the same abyss I stepped into!! Sorry if it came across as insanely violent!

As for changing course, it's difficult - he's at the wrong age now to be able to apply for music scholarships to independent schools and it would be hard to go back to his old teacher after making the break. Plus, he is now almost getting to the age when the school will be more appropriate .... so it's hard.

Apologies again for offending anyone in my zeal! I'm not against specialist schools, but I really don't think they are designed for young children. Do think carefully.

Anothermother as you will have gathered some people have very strong views one way or another on the subject. In the end you know your child better than any of us so look at your options and decide what you think will suit him.

It was not too long ago I went through the same with my daughter, and by chatting on these very forums met another mum in the same situation. Both are daughters are now at Lincoln and very very happy. We both had the same worries, both girls very bright, love their music, looked and offered places at specialist schools, didn't want them to put all their eggs in one basket though.

It doesn't have to be a specialist school, there are many fantastic Independent Schools out there which have fantastic music departments, Cathedral Schools offer a rich and more varied musical education than most. We found Specialist Schools lacked academically and found them very rigid musically. Lincoln has been the perfect compromise they have their own timetables which enable them practise in school time, they are not hot housed but given enough freedom to enable them to develop their own style and at their own pace.

It is not something to rush into. My daughter did not want to board, but many do and thrive. My daughter has a 50mile round trip every day and T's daughter travels from London having the weekend at home and attends one of the junior departments. My daughter tried the Music and Dance Scheme, but hated it and is happy with the schools upper strings teacher. There is more flexibility at non specialist schools, but if I hade to pick one it would be Wells as they too have the best of both worlds.

Just take your time!

To add a different point of view from someone younger rather than a parent...

I have a pair of the least pushy parents in existance. They were encouraging (they don't have much of a say anymore ) but never sought out futher oportunities for me. I don't blame them for this, and think they've been great but...

When I was 10, some of my (primary) teachers were suggesting that my parents should look at local independant schools where my (then budding) musical and academic skills would be encouraged to flourish more. My parents wouldn't even think about it. I don't think going to the local comprehensive did me much harm... certainly not in terms of GCSE results, and if I'd cared to persue dance and drama there, I could have done it. Music was another matter though!

Now I'm at Uni, though, I've met people that went to the various musical Saturday schools, private schools and all sorts of other things in between. For those that got that extra music input, I envy them the foundation in musicianship they have. I'm at a University without any arts courses, so it certainly didn't limit their choices! I learnt to play the flute to about G8 level, but my aural skills, sight reading, ensemble playing, and ability to compose all 'suck'. Individual instrument lessons can only take these things so far... and I never got the opportunity to gain the other 'musicianship' skills. It also seems like I missed out on the chance to do triple science GCSE, study classical languages, travel with my school, and so forth.

Yes, its a difficult decision and in part I think it depends on your child. I hated primary school with a passion, but found secondary improved gradually over time. I also feel like I could have got so much more out of the 10 years I spent in those two schools. When I was 8, I was definitely precocious enough to consider primary school a waste of my time, and tried very hard to get my mother to let me stay at home! Perhaps somewhere with more talented children would have suited me better. On the other hand though, I would not be quite the same as I am now (I'm probably a lot more grounded!)... and its not like I didn't gain anything from school!

I suppose my feeling (and perhaps that of my parents at the time) was that if you are genuinely talented / committed, then very little can actually stop you acheiving what you want. I was never going to be a professional musician, but that said being a somewhat better one that I am would have been nice!

When I was about 9 I met Yehudi Menuhin at a concert at Wigmore Hall. I had my violin with me and he asked me if I'd like to join his school! My uncle was teaching string quartets there and my teacher was a good friend of Menuhin's so it really was a viable possibility. Anyway, I was so taken aback I didn't know what to say. Later on I asked my parents about it and they said well it's a possibility but did I realise it was boarding only? As I was only 9 I didn't really fancy the idea of boarding so the idea was (semi reluctantly) shelved.

More years later than I care to mention, my mother still asks me in an anxious tone: 'do you think we did the right thing not sending you to the Menuhin School?' I really do think she worries about it from time to time. Well, I'm glad they didn't send me there. OK, Nigel Kennedy, Nicola Benedetti, Tasmin Little and others have ended up with fabulous violin careers but what about all the others? All those years and years of endless violin practice but what if a performing career just isn't for you, or you don't make the grade in the end? What about all the other aspects of your life? I know these specialist schools say they give a well-rounded education but there are only so many hours in the day so something has to give.

Like others here, I think something like this should be the child's choice, and definitely not before age 12.

Well, Violina - you were very lucky indeed. I would have loved to meet Yehudi Menuhin at the age of 9 holding my violin... If I were your mother I would have asked you to try for a term with a promise that you can come back if you didnt like it. And the chances are, you wouldn't. Or may be you would. But you dont know because you didnt try.

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Perhaps Violinia has fulfilled her destiny as I get the strong impression that she is an inspirational teacher. In some ways that is just as important as having a huge performing career. I do know that Violinia is keen on Jazz and less classical types of music and this may well have been somehting else she missed out on. We can't live our lives regretting decisions made when we were 9.

Interesting thread. Not being a parent I'm probably not qualified to comment but I think where the specialist music school or independent boarding school with a good music department comes into its own is at secondary level because they provide more time for a serious musician to practice. A young player I know who went to boarding school at 13 has come on a lot as a player in the past year and she admits they have set practice times and don't have to waste time travelling to and from school.

If the local state school will allow some flexibility for practice time then that would reduce the need to go elsewhere but the pursuit of leage tables makes this more difficult nowadays especially if your musical child is bright.

Spcialist music schools wouldn't be for me because by going to a normall 'college', I can practice the Oboe and do the A-levels that I want to do. The practice will be prioroty but I would still have time to study a bit even with a lot of practice.

I went to Wells at the age of 16 and it was absolutely fantastic. I was begging my mum from the age of 10 to let me go away to music school but she felt I was too young to go away to boarding school.
I had a brilliant two years and my school bill came to about £400 per term - not bad considering the fantastic education you get - both academically and musically.