Help!! Violin daughter used to just play, without nerves. Now she is 13, she has begun to be so nervous that her bow bounces on the string. Nerves have also had an effect on her tone etc.

I think in part it is a fuction of growing up, but my question is 'how can she overcome this?'

Today she played in a music festival and her nerves really had an effect.

She thinks this will be forever.

How do you get over nerves? Any advice gratefully accepted!

Violinma

Nerves have always been a problem for me, I remember waiting to do grade 1 and feeling slightly nervous. However some children, like your daughter don't suffer from nerves until they reach a certain point.

I can't offer a solution for nerves as I still suffer from nerves and I believe they do affect my flute playing. However, perhaps you can convince her that when she performs she should perform as if no one is listening. This way there is nothing to get nervous about.

Somebody lovely in the theatre business told me recently that the best way to prepare for an audition was to know the pieces inside out and back to front and prepare for any mistakes you might make, she also told me to breathe but I know what she means, deep breathing does have a calming effect.

And after going on that advice I aced the audition and got a very good outcome from it!

Almost 30 years later I still haven't solved my performance nerves problem - at primary school I was an anxious performer and things went steadily down hill during my teenage years.

I think it is important for your daughter to be able to talk about how she feels both with you and her teacher and that you should not try to minimise the effect of nerves. My own experience was that people saying I had no reason to feel nervous made me feel guilty as well as nervous and then ashamed that nerves were getting worse instead of better.

My oboe teacher has told me repeatedly that being able to perform is something you have to learn along with the technical side of the instrument and he claims that my nerves are the result of never having been taught how to perform. In my more rational moments (ie not just before a performance) this seems to me to be a pertinent point and it might be worth discussing things with your daughter's teacher to see if she has a similar point of view.

Things my teacher has told me to consider are:
- visiting the room beforehand and visualising my performance.
- hearing the first few bars in my head before I start playing.
- remembering that performing is about sharing the music and reaching out to the audience (ie not being wrapped up in my own state).

I can really identify with this. I have always been a nervous performer, but things got much worse in adulthood, and it is a problem that seems to grow with the years!

However, I think kerioboe's point about not having been taught to perform is a very valid one. To perform well, it is necessary to have some tactics on board that will help you to harness the adrenaline rush and make it work for you, rather than let it get the better of you. And remembering that performance is about sharing the music and reaching out to the audience is one of the most helpful comments I have ever heard.

I bet no-one she plays to would go up there and play anything let alone be as good!

Let her show them how good she is!

That's how I try to think

She should try to really enjoy the music when she performs live

Maybe watch some videos of some professionals for some inspiration?

hope I helped

edit: make sure that she breathes well and stuff just before she plays, right on stage. She can prepare and think about the piece and the audience get ready

Stand there and get clam and then begin

Thank you all so much for your replies. Some of the things she has been told already, but as she is 13, I expect that she doesn't always take everything on board.
I will pass on all these tips and hope that they do the trick!

Violinma

Violinma, I would say that some time around 13, "nerveless wonder" son started to feel nervous, and also to worry that even being prepared to play or sing in front of people might be seen as arrogance...but recently the old "him" seems to be resurfacing. So if your daughter was not originally terribly nervous, she may regain some of her sangfroid in future.

However, I guess that the awareness that other people may see us quite differently from the way we see ourselves is there to stay! It's not all bad, though - most of the "bad" stuff is only in our own imagination anyway, and the flip side of peer criticism is peer support.

Mr. 13's friends supported his music because he was their friend, but Mr. 15's friends call their friends' friends to come and listen...so just remind your daughter that despite the unfamiliar butterflies, good times lie ahead!

As a parent of a 13 (nearly 14) year old I know only too well what an emotional time it is.

At the moment we have tears when things go wrong and today when she gets a compliment, it's not an easy age to be.

No performance nerves yet here. Hope things work out for your daughter Violinma

Lots of sensible advice there.....

At around this age children start seeing themselves through the eyes (and ears ) of others which, together with all the hormonal stuff going on can make for a difficult time.

Helping to keep things calm and in perspective at home can have a huge influence on how your daughter sees her performances.

On a practical level, good breathing is essential in controlling the 'fight or flight' adrenaline responce that many of us naturally experience in responce to a stressful situation. I teach my pupils to plan their breathing to start with the piece so that (usually) the first down beat/down bow comes together with a big 'out' breath. That way not only will she have to remember to have breathed in deliberately before she started but will also have her bowing arm, shoulders and breathing working together for that all-important first note.

There's a book called 'The Inner Game of Music' by Barry Green with W. Timothy Gallwey.
I've not read all of it yet myself, so can't really tell you if it works, but it does give an approach to helping people with nerves, self-doubt, fear of failure. You might find some help in there that hasn't been offered yet. You should be able to check it out on amazon.

I'd be interested to hear if anyone has read it to know if they have found it helpful... or if you try it, let me know your thoughts.

I have read it and didn't find it helpful - I think there is a limit to what auto-suggestion can do. There has been a thread about it in the past, which a search would probably bring up.

It is terrible. Just cashing in on the success of the "Inner Game" idea. You will learn more about performing music from the original (and brilliant) "Inner Game of Tennis"

But for a book dealing almost entirely and specifically with music and musicians, and devoting a lot of pages to performance nerves "Mastering the Art of Performance' by Stewart Gordon is a more serious, more deeply considered, better researched, and far more useful contribution than "The Inner Game of Music".

(I've already recommended it in two other threads, but I am NOT getting any commision)

That's interesting. Thanks.