Watch out, Holz - it could stick! A few years ago we had a 6th form Physics student nicknamed Badger. I eventually asked why and discovered that he had once played the part of Badger in a junior school production - his mates had called him Badger ever since!

Still, there are worse names... (thinking of Weasel or Toad here!)

I need a stiff drink please to recover from my scary drive back from orchestra.

Nearly had head-on crash with speeding police car after going round a blind bend. He was on my side of the road overtaking a long line of cars. Blue lights were on but were'nt visible througth trees and there was no siren. I had to slam on my brakes and swerve and missed him by a few inches. Luckily the car behind me managed to stop as well...

I've got this bottle of South African Shriaz for tonight its called Red Nose Red. I don't know whether it's got anything to do with comic relief or not (she lies) but if I drink the whole bottle I think I might have a red nose by the end!

What do you's think of this ... ?

It's me singing ... it's what i'm going to be doing for my solo at choir ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0K-9KUIYQI

I am really thrilled today after checking my results online... my hard work for half a year has paid off...
So here's a toast to everyone in the pub! *raises beer*

And Fido!! I brought you salmon sashimi ! It is very good for the brain, you know...





I think it is really nice and pure singing, heslop01. If only we can see a recording of your solo, with you standing up and singing out loud to an audience. So when will we see it?

Cheers teoani. Wonderful results for you

Cheers barry-clari! Want some sashimi too? I hid a plate for myself just now. Fido doesn't know...

Never come across sashimi before! May I ask what it is?

Ah, let me introduce you, barry-clari, to one of the most delicious food in the world! Sashimi is slices of raw seafood!

It's yummy, really! I am not sure about UK, but the Japanese are crazy about it, and the Chinese have a tradition of preparing fish raw too. You eat them fresh and raw, and with some spices too.

Check out the pictures here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sashimi

Trust me, it is really tasty. Try the salmon first, because it is the least fishy in my opinion, and has a nice marbled orange appearance. Once you graduate from salmon, try tuna.

Thanks teoani *wonders if there's any restaurant in the UK that sells it*

Hey all - Erm ... May I have a pint of water?

MY stomach aches going!

You can have a pint of water if you allow me to mix in fruit juice. (non citrus you don't want another migraine)

Sure


Thanks you

Just read the Unbelievable-Teacher-Warfare-Chicken thread! I'll have a large bottle of whisky with a whisky chaser, please William.

I think you might need something stronger

Chicken? I'm going to have to have another look!

Pint of Hobgoblin please!

Violin lesson wasn't too bad (and by that I mean that I didn't play as badly as I thought I was going to. My teacher was, as always, excellent).

Cheers,

Matt.

Enters bar, wearing dark glasses, floppy hat and overcoat

"I'll have one of everything, please, William."

Tiptoes over carpet of eggshells to the bar and pulls on kid gloves

Glug glug glug glug

Makes hasty exit without speaking to anyone

I'll have a large firkin on your strongest homebrew please William, and something for Fido.
It's very quiet in here this evening.
I'll be by the fire.

*Holz Gedeckt wanders in*

Cor, it's quiet in here tonight. Oh, hang on, somebody's sitting there by the fire. I wonder who it is.

*Walks in direction of fire*

Oh crumbs! It's Ratty!

*Turns around and runs in direction of door*

William, get the door quick!



Well done. That was some save!




Evening HG. Would you care for some ratatouille?

Holz collides with BM in the doorway - "Hey, watch where you're going!"

"Come back in and buy me a drink! I'd love a white wine. "

Edit: Oooops! Petrat was too quick for me!

Evening Berk. How was your weekend?

Ever get the feeling you're being ganged up upon?

William isn't a gang HG. He is our friendly barman. Have a drink and behave. You almost sent Berk flying then.

*picks self up off the floor after collision with BM*

I nearly sent Berk flying??? I think not!

Have you been weight-training recently, BM?

Just saw a cat playing with a theremin. It did not make much music, but the actions are pretty funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ONJfp95yoE...re=channel_page

Now, Fido, what is your main musical instrument?

Or you rather play "What time is it Mr Wolf" with me?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzzjgBAaWZw&NR=1

*Mole enters, gathers up remains of yesterday's furniture and stacks it neatly beside the fire.*

*Wipes bar, swabs floor, irons curtains (scorches wallpaper in process)*

Where's William? I think I deserve a free pint of soup and a bowl of that there Cornish Pasta after all that!

Hilarious!

My cats all play the violin. (if you know what I mean...)

Any supper left this evening William?

By the way, what is Fido doing to the front lawn?

Uh-oh, looks like we have a cat-in-charge-of-runaway-mower situation going on...

Who's going to do the necessary?

He looks happy enough for the moment. Let's have a few drinks and see if he runs out of fuel. If not then we can sort him out.

Any parsnip perry left Will?

But he's heading straight for the Tavern, Ratty...

*crash*

It might be little draughty tonight folks. Got any bubble wrap and some selotape William? We may need to do some first aid on the door.


Someone get Fido a brandy please. He looks a bit upset.

Flossie comes in and picks Fido up to comfort him.

He's in a huff now.

That cat is becoming a liability.

Suggest we put him in the back to cool his heels

Bit of a chameleon this puddy

Typical teen-cat - always changing his look. Have you seen his latest piercing?

No!

He's quite happy here, aren't you Fido?

*Fido rubs against Flossie's legs and then curls up by her feet, purring contentedly*

Aw! That looks so like my eldest when he was younger!

He's happy now. Must have had a pint.

Holz.............your eldest cat or child??

Child, of course....

For a minute there, I thought you were a very intelligent tabby cat

Might explain some of the catty remarks.......






Meeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww!

Behave, Susan!

Shan't!

I'll put you over my knee....

You'll have to catch me first.

*catches SueHM*

Slap! Slap! Slap!