Hello All,

Have had this pupil on a Friday evening for about 8 months now. At first lessons were as expected and on a regular weekly basis. Now they are becoming more and more infrequent. Lots of emails at least every other week to postpone lessons because of other commitments like dance, swimming, horseriding, all of which have exams apparently. Mother has done a lot for me so feel bad in pulling her up on these regular cancellations, but looking at the register since September, out of 25 lessons there have only been 10! This is crazy; even crazier because I have had to turn away a pupil recently because I don't have the space (I teach this pupil late in the evening). Also reluctant to give pupil up because it is a pupil taking my first instrument, and I don't have many of them.

Advice please? Thanks!

Do you have a contract amt?

I think you're going to have to be fairly strong here : I suspect you're losing money and this is your livelihood! Make it clear that regular lessons are needed for suitable progress to be made, and see what response you get. Hard as it may be, you cannot continue losing money on this amt.

You feel obligated towards the mother because of other issues, however you are not able to provide a good service unless she brings her child along for the lessons. I think you need to have a talk with her - either by phone or face to face at the next lesson and explain that this arrangement is not working. The child surely cannot be making much progress if they have missed so many lessons AND have so many other commitments. Can you offer an alternative slot for them, or maybe agree to 'take a break' until the other exams are over and then start afresh with a firm commitment from them to turn up every week. It could be that they are only temporarily overcommitted, but you could be teaching someone else in the meantime.

Friday is a tricky evening to teach - end of the week, people are tired and I've always found it is the worst evening for cancellations - I use it for occasional short term students now (eg grade 5 theory blitzers), rather than regulars.

Hope you can sort it out. At the end of the day, you may be doing them more of a favour by calling time, rather than continuing to struggle on with an unsatisfactory arrangement.

Unfortunately AMT (and I don't mean to sound unkind) the fact that you are reluctant to lose this student puts you in a weaker position.

I had a similar one a year or two back - an adult who booked 45 minutes of prime-time Saturday morning, and made very few of the lessons. After a couple of terms I made noises along the lines of ' I really don't feel we are making good use of this time' and all along it was going to get better ... 'when I've finished such-and -such etc etc' --- but it never did, and like you I was turning down other people who would have liked the slot.

This last fact however puts you (as it put me) in a stronger position. After another term of this (and lessons were always paid for, so loss of income was not an issue) I politely declined to continue the arrangement.

I think you may have to consider doing the same, or simply accept that this student is going to continue in much the same way.

Thank you so much everyone. It is partly my fault as I hadn't realised exactly how many lessons were missed until I had another cancellation and thought 'this isn't right, there have been far too many!', and checked the register. And I hadn't even thought about how this was affecting my income!

I think you are all right, it is time to bite the bullet and have a chat with the mother face to face. I know Fridays are trickier generally, but I have other pupils on a Friday that turn up every week without fail, and actually come to think of it this pupil used to be on a Saturday until fairly recently and the attendance problem was the same.

All the best with that : hope you resolve your situation satisfactorily.

Good luck and be strong! Waiting to have these conversations is usually far worse than the reality!

You are absolutely right David, Thank You.