Happy Mothers' day to all those mums out there.

Hope you are having a good day with your families

And to anyone finding mother's day hard for whatever reason - My thoughts are with you.

If you feel like sharing your Mother's Day special moments here please do.

My children made me some beautiful cards and my daughter had written it all by herself.

They bought me some unusual gifts - scented candles and a lovely cup to paint with flowers on and breakfast tea bags in it. Also a lovely bunch of daffodils.(sp?)

But my special moments were their lovely hugs and them telling me they loved me

But not quite enough thoughts to hold back from rubbing their noses in it.

Sorry, I know that will sound very rude, but you're clearly having a lovely day. Why not just enjoy that and not make it harder for all those who are no doubt finding today really difficult for all sorts of reasons? We all know a lot of forum members have lost parents recently, and there are other reasons why some people may not be on top of the world today and not want to be reminded about it.

And yes, you're right, I probably shouldn't have even opened the thread...

Yes and I'm one of those forumites... I just haven't posted it!!!!! But I have kids and have to get on with it and no I'm not having a "really lovely day" I'm just making the best of it and not begrudging anyone else a nice day. My wishes were sincere.

Maybe I shouldn't have posted the thread but it was my way of making an effort for others!!!

YOU have upset me now. Your rudeness was not necessary here.

Edit: there are many times of year that are very difficult for people : Christmas with it's huge build up is exceedingly difficult for many people who are alone or have been bereaved etc at this time of year, Valentines for the newly separated, etc. But people post threads on these events all the time. I think there have been many more offensive posts on this forum recently and am deeply upset that mine has been jumped on like this. I meant no offense. I am aware of peoples loss and I share it. (I have a funeral to attend on Wednesday) I only wanted to say you are not forgotten today but also that others shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying it.

I appreciated your wishes, Dawn. Mothers' Day is not an easy one for me, as with so many others on here, and it's appreciated that someone remembers that. At the same time, I would hate to get in the way of others enjoying a well-deserved day. My thoughts are with all who are not finding today easy, and I hope that where possible, mothers are spending a pleasant day.

I'm not suggesting your wishes are not sincere and I'm not begrudging anyone else a nice day either.

Given that you appear to have recently gone through what a lot of other 'forumites' have suffered, I'm even more surprised you thought people would want to be reminded of it. Not everyone has children giving hugs / cards to take their minds off things.

Anyway, I have expressed my feelings on this currently rather sensitive issue and I don't intend to cause further offence.

OK look - sorry to upset you. We tend to post in haste sometimes and heated responses are not always helpful. The fact is I don't think I'm "reminding" anyone as it's there in the mind anyway. I figured that people do not HAVE to read every post. The title was clear so could be avoided.

We all deal with these things differently and I was focussing on the positive.

Again, I'm sorry, but you do not have to read this thread.

Yes, indeed: It is a sensitive issue which I was trying not to think about - which was my point - so sorry for my visceral reaction.

You're quite right about the title, but sometimes one has an urge to pick a scab, as it were...

Maybe that's kind of what I was doing too??

I wasn't going to share this but here goes: It's actually my husband's grandmother we've lost recently and my grandmother is in hospital with pneumonia but we were still supposed to be making a big fuss of my mother-in-law today to help compensate for her not having her Mum. Unfortunately we had to cancel as my husband's sick. So I've also been on full "Mum duty" today - One child's not so well too so it's not been a basket of Roses here. My father also died when I was 18 so I've had many father's days to get through since. But I've never shouted at anyone for enjoying their time with their father/kids. I've also made an effort for my husband's father and now we have kids it's been my husband's day. So because the road to here has been long and difficult I make no apology for the small pleasures I've taken from today. I also wanted to share in other people's pleasures - a little like a single person may revel in a good love story etc. I had no intention to make your day any harder. Sorry if I did. Maybe we can share some nice experiences on this thread or if the general consensus is it's better left than I understand that too.

This morning, my daughter (aged 9) gave me a lovely card and a little teddy and told me how much she loved me.

I spent this afternoon planning my mother's funeral.

Very sorry to hear the latter. I hope you had a reasonably nice morning at least.

As a parent going through a bit of a tough time, though I'm also generally inclined to stay as private as I can, I nipped in here for a bit of consolation and a reminder of the upsides, having understood the title correctly. Thanks for that, Czerny, you've scotched it for others too now. And as far as urges to pick scabs go - that is unfair: we can't all tread on eggshells all the time in case someone might be disturbed, that's the purpose of titles, it allows others to sidestep what they might find upsetting.

My daughter's been having a tough time over the last few months since her boyfriend finished their relationship. But just recently she posted a picture in her snapfish album of them both looking very happy, with the caption: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

The point is that this sort of reaction takes time to develop, but at some time in the future after losing a parent, we can all move from crying to smiling. It's almost 30 years since my father died, but for a long time now I've been able to remember him on Father's Day with happy memories and joy because I was lucky enough to have him for a Dad.

Feeling miserable when we lose someone is part of the price we pay for having had them. Although it isn't nice to pay that price, I do believe that "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". And to all those finding today hard, I'd say hang on in there, because the day will come when you can remember with thanksgiving rather than with pain.

Dawn, this is my first mother's day without a mother. Thank you for the kind thoughts in this post I had two lovely cards and a lot of hugs from my boys today, and a special dinner cooked for me tonight, so I feel very lucky as well as a bit tearful and empty - I can't do the giving any more, but I'm fortunate to be able to do plenty of receiving

I am fortunately still giving and receiving.
When I got in from Anglesey, my 2 daughters couldn't wait and piled roses and hand made cards on me in front of Gerald. Then Jen (8), played her piano solo for him.
WE went to pick my Mum up and took her to see my Step-Dad in hospital. He is on his last innings.
Mum was very pleased with her cards and roses. Kate made her a Victoria Sandwich.
They also vaccumed and tidied the house
Hugs to all who are sad today.

Thank you BerkshireMum for such a sensitive and consoling post.

Thank you very much for your mothering Sunday wishes - much appreciated!

Thank you

(just to clarify, I didn't find your thread upsetting Dawn, I was just sharing my own bittersweet experience)

Thankyou. As they say in the Lion King it's the circle of life and really cannot be avoided. However, it does not make it any easier when you are on the recieving end of someone reaching the end or their life.

I like the idea of the circle of life. My hubby's family were very upset when we lost Nan. She was in her mid nineties. Yet just 8 weeks later, I fell pregnant with my little one that we had waited 7 years for. It lifted everyone up.
It's all a never ending circle.

Yes. My cousin had his firstborn on the same day my husband's nana died.

My husband's Grandma had died on the same night about 3 years ago (how strange is that?)

And it's my son's birthday on 2 days after that.

So we had to enjoy that for him (His Great Grandma would have wanted that for him) so Sad and happy events were closely intermingled. At the funeral we want to clebrate the person she was and the life she had as well as mourn her loss. I like the comment above about "Don't cry because it's over - Smile because it happened" It's not easy sometimes until distance and time have intervened but it is a good thing to aim for i think.

I used to hate Mothers' Day with a passion as I waited year after year after year (and so on for 13 years), and all my friends had one baby, and then another and then another, and I never did........ I probably wouldn't have been rude enough to say something on here about it had this thread been posted during those years, but I would have thought it at the time!! (I also used to hate Christmas for the same reasons........) Now I have cd junior and he's well worth the wait so Mothers' Day is no longer the torture it was.......

Thanks for posting this, chocolatedog. I can't imagine how awful it must have been to wait so long for your offspring, and am so pleased that in the end he put in an appearance! We waited just over 5 years for our first child to be conceived, and that seemed for ever, so I do relate to what you and Bev have posted.

I think, though, that it would be very sad if no-one could celebrate happy events because others less lucky might be upset. My Mum found it very hard being invited to the Ruby Wedding parties of several friends, because she lost my Dad after 37 years of marriage; but she bit the bullet, went to the parties, and managed to be glad for them. I was so proud of her!

As Dawn says, sad and happy events are often closely intermingled, and it's seldom that everything is wonderful - but equally seldom that everything is terrible.

Oh I agree - I was quite happy for others to celebrate, but I just absented myself as much as possible from things that would have just been too difficult to face. But I don't think I would ever have gone quite so far as to post a comment like Czerny's on a public forum, much as I might have felt it.

Whilst I agree to a point, If I can just speak in defense of Czerny. Although upset by the unexpected response I hold nothing against Czerny and I do TOTALLY relate to what she's said. I can remember my first father's day without my Dad. It was soooooo tough. All these people at Uni had their Dad's visiting. I hadn't gone home so as to not have to aface that fact that my Dad wasn't there. I felt Sooo alone and sad. Although I didn't voice it I did feel very like Czerny - like it was rubbing my nose in it. However, over time (and being with my husband and celebrating father's day with his father) made me realise that I shouldn't and couldn't begrudge anyone else enjoying their time with their fathers. It wasn't their fault that my Dad had died and I honestly wished that they didn't have to go through what I'd been through for many many years.

Whilst I appreciate the back up that I wasn't being insensitive when posting this thread I don't think we should be critical of Czerny. Grief is a personal thing and anger and volatile emotional response is certainly part of the grieving process. Please don't criticise her for her response any further. She is clearly going through a really tough time and this won't help.

Thank you, Dawn, that's very kind of you.

Same thing but with friends' children. I remember going to my God-Daughters 5th birthday party. The house was full of pretty little girls all in pink dresses and playing pass the parcel. Usually I am in full control of my feelings, but I remember thinking I was going to howl in the middle of the room
Managed not to , but...........
It was a month later that I was pregnant with the first.

You are more than welcome.

Thankyou also for the PM. I have replied.