I have just heard I have lost another competition I entered today on the recorder.
I can now add another one to the long list of competitions lost.
I didn't enter it for the winning or the prize money, but so I would know that I was actually relatively good at my instrument as this is what I need to be a professional musician.
I have not had any luck in any competitions and auditions and I have entered more then I can count, although there are different reasons why I have not won some of them, I could keep making up excuses but I think I'm just not that good.

What confuses me the most is that I have been told many times by professional musicians, teachers, accompanists and audiences that I am very good at my instrument.
I have had distinctions for all recorder exams I have done (4,6 and 8) and I am now thinking of doing a Diploma.

I think music should be fun and I'm not finding it much fun at the moment.
So my question is: should I keep going, suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and become a professional musician or should I just stop now, play for the fun of it and find something else to do?

The trouble with music is that however good you are at your instrument, there will always be others who are better. Also competitions are very subjective at the best of times, so I don't think you should read too much into the fact that you haven't won one. I'd accept what others have told you, that you're very good at your instrument.

Becoming a professional musician is not something to go into unless you feel you can't imagine yourself doing anything else. It's an uncertain life (unless you go into schoolteaching), and many people who want to end up as musicians do a degree first (often not in Music) so that they have something to fall back on if necessary.

Do you need to decide on a career path yet? Music should be fun, and if it's ceasing to be that, perhaps you're expecting too much too soon. There's no reason why you shouldn't carry on and do a diploma, whether or not you become a professional musician. But it might be a good thing to have other careers in mind alongside enjoying your music.

Thanks for your reply.

I am not able to do anything except music, music is the only thing I really enjoy and that I'm any good at.
I cant think of anything else I want to do or can do.

yes I know there will always be someone better then me, but I dont expect them to be one of the 10 people who entered this small competition.

Sorry you're so down tonight, Ben. Maybe something about one of the other competitors' playing particularly appealed to the judge, maybe you didn't play your best on the day, perhaps you're just not cut out to be a soloist, but would do brilliantly in an ensemble - who knows? Having grade 8 distinction must tell you that you play your recorder well.

Are you doing A-levels at the moment? What are you planning to do when you leave school? If you're doing a Music degree, that can lead to all sorts of jobs besides being a musician.

What do you envisage doing as your career in music?

When I was leaving school I wasn't sure what I wanted to do in music, but I knew it was the area in which I wanted to work. I never excelled at competitions, but have over the years uncovered so many other areas in which I have ability and can make a living.

If you really want to do it, you can make a living out of music. But it may not be in the ways you currently imagine. At 18 I thought I would hate to be an instrumental teacher, but I have since discovered I enjoy it and am good at it. Keep in mind however, you will never be rich!

I'm not sure how old you are, but I would say, if you are embarking on your first course of third level study, go with what you love. If you need to find a "proper" career after, you will be able to; I know lots of people who have music degrees and have gone on to become accountants, midwives etc.

How would you feel if you never gave it a proper go? Would you always regret not trying?
If you really love it, go for it. If it doesn't work out, you will at least know you have given it your best shot and then you can think about possibly doing something else instead.

I am aiming to be a professional oboist but if it doesn't work out, I'll love being an oboe teacher. Even if I won a big competition the hard work needed to go to the next step would seem the same as if I didn't.

in some ways, i have similar experience as Jungfrauenregalbass (i've won small competitions and professionals who have met me have given me praises; but now at uni, i'm not classed as good performer at uni by professors).

there are people bound to be so much better than me out there in the world. all i know is to work hard and now that i will be embarking a new journey from september onwards (i would love to be a recitalist), i'll see how it goes from there. will never give up though. life is full of ups and downs, can't be let down just by a few things in life.

My daughter took part in a festival last year, it's the only one she's ever done. We never expected her to win it was a performance opportunity and nothing more. I don't know any of the politics surrounding the festival but I got a very strong feeling their was a bias towards strings. I don't even know where the thought came from, but sure enough the strings did very well in all the age groups.

When the girls danced there were times when they won or were placed when the field was totally open. There were also times when they deserved to win and didn't. I don't think these things are always a good indicator of how well you play, it's an opinion on the day.

Best thing ot do is learn form the comments, talk to your Teacher and see how you can be in a stronger position next time. Don't let it influence your love of music making.