It's not a problem now, as they've created an oinkment for it....

They already tell us porkies...


PS Did you know that "Sick Hogg - Rotten Deal" is an anagram of Holz Gedeckt organist? (I know, I really should get out more, it's the terrible puns - I can't resist them!)

I understand that NHS Direct has been inundated with callers worried about the swine 'flu. Apparently the 'phone lines have been so busy that it's caused interference on them, and the staff haven't been able to hear the callers properly due to all the crackling....

It's very easy to tell if you have flu or swine flu. It's all in the snuffles that you have. If you snuffle under trees and dig up truffles, you know you have swine flu. Easy.

All this talk about swine flu is becoming quite boaring.


Latest details include symptom update on the victims - they are prone to scratchings and the trotters....

Do they get a sty on the eye too?

I think the whole thing is utter pigs swill.

Trough?

Either yes, but you will still owe for the lesson.
Or (if you are able) can you come on........(insert day and time)

I have had a bit of this in the last couple of weeks. One or two have phoned about an hour before the lesson t to say they needed to revise for an exam the next day. If I am already teaching I don't get the message and often wonder why they haven't turned up only to find a message on the machine later on!

Another turned up for his/her lesson last week and announced "I am stopping now for about 4 weeks until my exams are over". they are working for a high grade exam and still wanted to take it this term. Mean old me- I have not put in the entry!

Yesterday one of my pupils turned up with a "sorry" present. I had arranged extra lessons for exam candidates and twice mother forgot to bring him.

She brought me a large jar of homemade confit de canard. It was instant forgiveness on my part!

Mind you, I wasn't that suprised she forgot the lessons - they are a farming family and are up to their necks in the calving season at the moment. I've seen their ducks and I reckon that confit will be delicious!

Don't be fooled, if you want to get an A in this subject, it requires graft and intelligent analyses of films. The students who think they only have to watch films tend to be the ones who get the E or U grades.

My daughter did it for AS and A2, and it was harder work than you might think.

Have decided I'm getting a little cynical. Basically, if people can get out of paying or attending lessons they will, preferably both. Everyone has times when missing a lesson is probably the best option, but if this turns out to be more than 5% it is likely to snowball over time and without careful management become 10-15%. If non-attendance is linked with non-payment, ouch it hurts when it comes to our end of the month bills etc.. Anyway, my own amended T&Cs are drafted, refined and about to be issued, and enforced. No one will like it when it means I'm no longer flexible, but I'm fed up with being taken for a mug!! OK, I feel a little for myself and I'll stop and instead.

You do right. It takes two to enable payments to get behind, lessons to be missed without paying etc. People can only take advantage if other people let them. Glad to hear you're going to stop letting them!