Hi there,
I am not sure what to do. PLEASE HELP

With regards missed lessons I usually let 1 lesson a term be missed if ill etc and it can't behelped - this is rare as my pupils are really good when it comes to NOT missing lessons. I can't remember the last lesson missed, especially with the girl in question.

This girl has missed the past 3 lessons, but with very good reason. Her dad got really ill on holiday and died pretty suddenly. His memorial service was last week which I attended and didn't say anything about lessons at all. She is returning to lessons this week and is looking forward to it.

I don't think I would feel comfortable asking for payment for the missed lessons, but should payment be made as a missed lesson is a missed lesson?
Then again is it insensitive to expect to be paid no matter what?

Any thoughts or experience re this matter?

I definately would not charge in this circumstance. It's admirable that they're trying to get back to "normal" so soon and in that position, music lessons and indeed remembering payments during the time would be the last thing on my mind.

Sarah

I'm not a teacher, but I think only you can really decide. The impression I've got is that you're not hugely bothered about the money, but that it's more about the principle. (sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick here! ) I'd have thought it really depends on whether or not you think the pupil will remember that you gave her free missed lessons once and try to get more out of you in the future.

Go with your gut!

Personally I wouldn't charge. A student of mine missed a few lessons when his mam was sersouly ill in hospital. I think in the long term, espcially those that are regular students, it's better to be understanding and supportive in this situation.

Thank you,

She is a very brave girl, she went back to school after a few days. Her mum was worried about her but knows she has good friends too. I just hope I can be "normal".
Thanks again for your comments, I will go with my gut and just try and be as normal as I can be for her.

I wouldn't feel comfortable charging in this situation. I have had one pupil miss most of this term due to unexpected illness - the mother offered to pay to keep her slot open, but as I have been teaching her for quite a few years and they are usually very reliable I haven't charged.

I wouldn't charge in this situation, either.

Neither would I, but I can see the argument about why should a teacher be expected to lose out financially because of somebody else's misfortune....

Neither would I. It would be very insensitive - in fact, I can't imagine any teacher doing so in these circumstances.

I'm sure you'll help to bring a little 'normality' back into her life, which will be good for her at the moment.

Remember bereavement isn't 'just' a matter of someone no longer being there. It can result in all manner of financial disarray. Wills to be found, banks to be informed, name changes to be made, insurances to be claimed and maybe fought for. For the bereaved , the practicalities of life afterwards can be chaotic for a long time, especially if the death was unexpected.

A timely thread - a pupil's mother just rang to say dad's had a heart attack and she won't be coming - might not be here next week too. No, I wouldn't think of charging.

This is a problem involving your income. I always take on two or three extra pupils so that if one or two miss lessons in these circumstances I still have enough money coming in. One way to offset your expenses is to know all the devious "allowances" for them in the Income Tax. If you have to appear in public to, say, accompany someone, you can claim for suitable dress, and of course travel to the venue. All the costs of your music room, tuning the piano, stationery, cleaning, heating and lighting. There is a long list - these are only a few. ( Ask a friendly accountant!) As to your pupil, I have had exactly the same problem. I also went to the funeral. The family circumstances were such that I continued teaching the child for nothing until her mother had sorted out her financial situation. From Busylizzie

A lot of other professions/companies would loose out financialy from the same circumstances too - teachers are not unique.

For example AOL did not continue charging when my father in law died a few months into a 12 month contract. Even though the contract was in my name.

I think, especially as you've said she's a good and reliable pupil, you should make an exception for this case.
You seem close to the family, (or at least I get that impression), and whilst I understand that you will unfortunately not be paid for these lessons, if you can I would be inclined to not even mention it unless prompted by the family.
It's great that she's coming back to lessons so soon, and you might just find that playing and continuing learning with you will be a great way for her to help deal with things, I think we all know of a time when playing has helped us to escape or cope in some way. And, in the long run, your understanding and sensitivity may well keep her playing with you long into the future, giving you rewards as a teacher, and financially too.
You may find in due course, they approach you about the money side of things, once they've had time to settle down a bit and get things organised, and I'm sure that they would appreciate greatly your understanding and waiting for them to come to you, after all lessons are probably the last thing on their minds right now.
I get the impression as a good pupil they won't be wanting to take you for a ride and try and fleece you out of more lessons, but if she's not coping very well or struggling with coming, maybe reducing lesson time/frequency for a while would be useful? That way, they may feel more able to cope with the commitment/payments and keep the slot, you would still have a regular income, albeit slightly less, and there might be less of an issue missing lessons because of this? Even if only for a few months, it could just ease the pressure on both sides? I don't know if that would work, just a suggestion!
As for being "normal", I suspect just playing it by ear as the lesson progresses will be just fine, you certainly sound caring and sensitive in your original post, and I'm sure you will be invaluable in helping keep some normality in the life of a girl who's world has just been turned upside down
I hope things work out ok

No brainer. Don't even think of charging.

Poor girl

No - I wouldn't consider charging.

me neither.

Definitely no charge.

Bx

I agree with all the above. I think part of it is also that people are very kind when the teacher finds herself in this situation. A few years ago my housemate died after a few months of serious illness (hospitalisation etc) He had no family so we acted in their place. I did not tell them about the illness, but when I missed lessons after he died, none of my pupils' parents would allow me to make up the lessons.

People are usually very understanding and if you show the same consideration you will reap the benefits in the future.

[quote name='Alicia Ocean' date='Jun 30 2009, 02:36 PM' post='843601']
I wouldn't charge. If you need the money you could offer some extra lessons (to make up for those missed) in the holidays.

.

Nor me - it's one of those "exceptional circumstances" which I allow for........ although I can see it would be difficult if more than 3 lessons were missed (especially these days as I don't have many pupils now...... previously I had over 40 pupils and it wouldn't have been a problem. Even now though I think I would still just
let those 3 lessons go...... )

From the original post, she doesn't sound like that kind of person. I never charge in cases of bereavement. On one occasion, a girl whose grandfather had died missed two lessons without charge. Some time later she missed another because the family "had friends visiting". No offer of payment for this missed lesson was forthcoming, so I pointed out that I would need to be paid, and they did so without a murmur.

Yes, it may have been that they weren't sure whether or not you expected payment for every missed lesson. Good for you for reminding them. It can be hard to stick your neck out, even when you're right!

I think the thing is, as I said, 99% of people are reasonable and won't intentionally take you for a ride.

I would definitely not charge either. A pupil of mine has missed two weeks because her Papa died suddenly and there is no way I would even consider charging. Having unfortunately been through very close family bereavements in recent years myself I know only too well what they are going through.

, and in this case, for me, it's a very easy decision to make.

I wish my teacher paid me for the lessons she's missed.
Id have a fortune!
Today: her son cycled to school, meaning i had to walk home with him. That took an hour, and by the time i got to her house, my parents were waiting to pick me up!

My lessons are paid for termly in advance with my contractual position being that I make no refunds if lessons are missed except in exceptional circumstances and at the teacher's discretion. I have on occasion credited a couple of lessons for pupils whare there has been a bereavement, simply because I would hope that someone would show me that sort of understanding if anything dreadful happened and because I believe in building good professional goodwill with my pupils.

Be sensitive to your pupil, she will be grieving for some time and this may quite possibly show itself in different ways over time. Is she still at school? If so she will possibly have access to grief counselling through school which will be a big help in helping her to deal with what has happened. Keep in touch with her mum and be sensitive to any signals that your pupil is having a difficult week - these could include things like loss of concentration, tiredness, mood swings as well as having to stay on top of school work, never mind music practice as well. When one of my pupils lost his father in a car accident a couple of years ago his mum very helpfully showed me some information which she had been given which helped me to understand better how a child might deal with grief. Ask if there is anything available and/or do a web search.

Best wishes to your pupil and her family.