I recently accompanied another teacher's pupils for their AB exams. After I came out of the exam room, one mother started gushing about how her daughter (whose exam it was) was so focused and so capable and was doing so well. She'd got to Grade 2 in only two years! What was the length of time it would normally take a child to get to that level?

Oh, about two years, I said...

I hate that petty sort of competing attitude. There's a girl we know who thinks she is fantastic. Demands to play solos in concert rehearsals even though she knows full well that she won't be at the concerts She is very good for her age but like all young musicians still has a lot to learn.

Making music should be about being the best the person can be. Not a constant battle to be better than someone else. Have you ever noticed how the ones who often think they are the best in their section aren't really

Do it! Run to the car every time - don't listen in.
Then let your child say (just the once) how they think it went and then go home and forget it . . . . wait for results and praise child - whatever the result.
OR . . . . sit outside with stethoscope glued to wall, noting every wrong note, flunked scale etc . . cross-examine child all the way home, repeat cross-examination at 5 minute intervals until child storms out vowing to quit music lessons . . .wait for results, query every mark because you heard it all through your stethoscope and obviously you know better . . . .
First option for me every time!! But i know plenty who opt for the second

We do the first too with the emphasis on how was it for you rather than did that bit go well. Then we usually go for lunch/icecream/whatever is requested and then move on to the next thing. I will admit to getting nervous about a week before the results are due but I don't share that information with anyone so the first the child knows is their result. I focus on effort rather than result and I'm very careful not to set expectations. A pass is a pass. I still want to throttle the teacher who was disappointed by my child's 118.
Dora

I like to hear what goes on, because I form my own opinion of how everything has gone. I don't let on that I've heard - it's really easy to hear in 1 centre, you don't need to hover outside the exam room door. (Bear in mind that I'm listening from a teacher's point of view too.)

But in the other centre we use we can hear nothing and I would never dream of budging from my seat in the waiting room although I'm full of curiosity. It has involved too much work to get to the exam stage without jeopardising it by unnecessary flouting of regulations.