One of my (numerous) children took gr1 piano yesterday. I was more nervous than he. I found that I couldn't sit in the 'waiting room' (actually, rather charmingly, somebody's kitchen) and listen to the performance so I went and hid in the car for 12 minutes.

Is this is a common occurrence or are parents in general happy to listen to their child's exam performance as it unfolds?...

I definitely like to listen if I can! It gives me an idea of how they've done!

One consideration... your child might not appreciate the extra pressure of you being there, or knowing that you are listening in!

Confutatis, you big softy, you!

On the other hand, it might be fab to know that no matter what happens, when you come out of the exam Daddy will be there to give you a great big hug and a grin (I'm 33, and I think it would make my day!)

I am very grateful that it is not possible to hear my daughter's performances from the waiting room where she has done many of her exams. (She has done the rest at school so not an issue). I get extremely nervous on her behalf and would have to take myself off for a walk if there was any chance I might hear.

However, I know I'm in good company. When she was younger my daughter was good friends with a young violin prodigy who has featured in threads in this forum. I think she's got over it now, but her mum used to hide in the Ladies at every one of her daughter's performances!

I've never overheard an exam, but if I did, I think I'd feel that it was too late for me to be worrying!

However, it might be best to arrange complete ignorance - it could be slightly terrifying for a child to come out of a demoralizing exam to face a relentlessly cheerful parent with a fixed gargoyle grin...

I've sat in the waiting room as teacher, as candidate and as parent, and parent is definitely the most nerve-racking!

I much prefer not to be able to hear anything. Many years ago I overheard my son's Grade 2 piano exam, and heard him begin his List B piece with the left hand an octave too low. Half-way through he stopped and restarted with the bass part in the correct octave. The examiner was a sweetie and only marked the second version. Mum was a bag of nerves by the end, though.

My son took grade 1 piano on Tuesday and I was glad that I couldn't hear anything from the waiting room!

As a teacher I've entered lots of candidates, and accompanied lots more, but I have never been as nervous as I was on Tuesday, not even for my own exams! I think it's that feeling of being completely helpless, and desperately wanting them to do their best for their own benefit!

I'm already jittery waiting for the results. My students take their exams tomorrow and I don't feel anywhere near as bad!!

As I accompanied both my children in exams up to grade 5 there wasn't much alternative to listening! It was actually worse when they progressed to grade 6 and we paid an accompanist, as I couldn't hear the exam from the waiting room, which seemed very odd after being intimately involved.

I think I know what you mean though, as one of my worst experiences was sitting through BerkshireSon's A-level recital last year. I knew he was tired out, he didn't start until 8.00pm after a full school day, the room was incredibly hot, and I was genuinely afraid that he would keel over, as I could see him turning a whiter shade of pale by the minute! I would have much preferred not to be there, actually, but he was very keen that I should be, so I felt I had to stay.

Having been - like many others - candidate, parent and teacher, I would definitely put them in this order:-

As parent: rather nervous
As teacher: very nervous and feeling horribly responsible for anything that goes wrong
As candidate: absolute nervous wreck

At my students' exams last week, the steward showed me a letter from the Board that said, in heavy type at the bottom, words to the effect that no-one should be permitted within earshot of the exam room. At some venues, this is obviously difficult, at others impossible, but at this one, quite easy. But like Staccato, it gives me some comfort to listen in (the candidates don't need to know) so that at least I have some idea of how they have got on. Fortunately, the steward has got used to tripping over me in the corridor over the years, and turns a blind eye!

The only one I couldn't bring myself to listen to, was the wee girl doing her Piano Prep Test, because I was so afraid she would crumble - even though in the worst case scenario she wouldn't have "failed".

At my grade 8 oboe venue, you could hear the exam going on from the waiting place.

I ferried some of the children from school to the exam centre and sat in the waiting room able to hear every note the children played next door. I was unbelievably nervous when it was my daughter's turn and talked loudly to the teacher so I couldn't hear her play. Afterwards I realised that the teacher was desperately trying to listen at the same time as politely continuing our conversation,

I always take my daughter for her exams. In the early grades I heard her playignwithout actively listening. I now try to block it out, so whilst I'm vaguely aware I don't particularly like to listen

I've never been able to overhear any of my childrens' exams. I was once told at one of the exam venues that if I went through a door and stood at the bottom of the stairs I would be able to hear if I wanted to, but I preferred not to.

Accompanying my own for various flute & violin exams is always really, really stressful; though interestingly when they've moved on to senior school they've found the idea of doing an exam & me not being there accompanying them "really weird" (a conversation I overheard between 2 of mine). They all seem to have found me being there reassuring even though I was a nervous wreck.
Any piano exams they've done I've sat in the waiting area with my fingers in my ears so I can't hear what's going on !

I listened once, the one time my daughter was ill on the day of the exam and I had to take her into school just for the exam, and her teacher and I both listened and discussed her performance together. It was absolutely nerve wracking and I won't even do it again.

At the last exam my daughter did which was in a church, there was a sign on the door saying that no listening was allowed! I made sure I arrived just as she was coming out as she didn't want me anywhere near her before or during the exam and I didn't want to be there either!

I've always been more nervous when I thought my parents (or anyone for that matter!) could here me in an exam...it was just an extra bit of pressure that I worried would tip me over the edge...it would make me more nervous before the exam than the thought of the exam itself, probably because I'm not very likely to have seen the examiner again but I would my parents or teacher!! Having said that, I'm sure, once I was actually in the room, I focussed and wasn't bothered anyway, but after grade 5 I made my parents go and sit in the car "just in case"!!

... is excrutiatingly painful ... and one second seems to last a whole hour ...

Well, we always go straight out to celebrate having done the exam with a drink and a cake....

As for whether they mind - for one I had to accompany so I get to listen anyway and for the other I know she doesn't mind.

Went with my daughter to her first ever exam on sat. Both my wife and I were terribly anxious and tried hard not to show it.

We were so early (I wanted to make sure no delays from traffic jam, and in case we had difficulty finding the place, or a place to park etc etc) that it was almost an hour before her allocated time. Thankfully things were ahead of schedule and my daughter wasn't too bored and exhausted to perform.

I went out with my 2 younger kids, leaving my wife and the elder daughter inthe waiting room. During her exam, my wife stood at the door of the waiting room so she could hear what was going on. Thankfully she felt reassured.

for my grade two, i played so loud that everyone in the waiting room - the other side of the building - could here me, when i went up to tell the next person to go in, they said my third piece was nice...

The result is in!

Perhaps I should have had more faith and listened - he got a dist for gr1 piano. Beat my gr1 result by 24 marks. V.chuffed.

Yay! Congratulations.

Yay! Same from me.

(I had diarrhoea when my first child went in for his first piano exam....he was fine; I'm the one with the problem...but having spent long spells in waiting rooms for various reasons I know I'm far from alone! I thought one father was actually going to die of a combination of an asthma attack and a heart attack. At least I just had to run.... )

Great result! congratulations.

Congratulations to your son, confutatis, for an excellent result!

Heard son today Really not up to scratch! So sad - given how well he played yesterday and this morning.
Ah well. It's all over and done with. He's not going to retake it - he's going to go for the jazz syllabus instead. Everything seemed to go badly. His study piece was the best... Time to enjoy the summer holiday

Given the chance I'll take in a glass and apply it to the wall and my ear! But in our centre you can't usually hear anything if the candidate is playing violin, or piano, or singing. However, this morning, Sonny Jim cracked it and I could hear his trumpet in the waiting room when a door to a corridor was open, but not, sadly, when it was shut. Clearly one needs a brass instrument to create enough noise!

I don't know how they can stop you listening in our centre - when the windows are open you can stand on the road outside and hear everything!

I could hear Kate from the waiting area, but did walk up to the door for a better listen I knew she'd passed as she was good
THen she came and talked me up for my exam an hour later. Still waiting for results.
Beverley

as someone who is taking exams i would hate for my parents to sit there and listen its bad enough when you can hear the person before you but knowing your parents caan hear you would be worse. It would put more pressure on knowing that they will know when you have gone wrong even if you just talked about the positive bits.

In a couple of my recent exam centres, they have a 'Soothing' CD playing in the waiting room, quite quietly, but enough to interfere with anything that might be heard from the exam room. As a teacher, I always maintain a conversation if I think the parent is very nervous!

Excellent point. I think as parents it's far too easy to forget that however involved we've been with their journey towards the exam, our children are separate individuals, not extensions of ourselves, and although we've paid for the exam in most cases, it's their exam not ours! If we ferry them there, we should stop right there and either go for a walk or put ourselves in a place where we can't hear what's going on. We should also tell them we're not going to be listening! They don't need the extra stress!

I think this is rather too much of a generalisation. There are times when my sons would have been nervous about going in alone and waiting alone, and it would have made a stressful time for them even more stressful. My students too (having checked with a few of them) are reassured by my being there. Every child is different, and what works for some won't work for others.

I agree, they don't need the extra stress of knowing[b] we might be listening, so although I do try to listen, they don't know. Yes, it's their exam, but as their teacher, I want to know that they haven't completely crumbled - firstly, because I care about them, but secondly, because I also have feelings, and want to have at least some idea of how they have got on. I think I have always worried about my children's exams and my students' exams MORE than they have!

When I took a violin grade some years ago (as an adult) I was comforted afterwards by the knowledge that my teacher had been listening in - and if she had told me beforehand, I would have felt better for that, too. What adds stress for some brings comfort for others.

I agree Misterioso. Mine would like me in the exam room with them. Seriously. Although that would be a step too far for me.

I absolutely do everything I can to overhear every note. This has involved blatantly sitting outside the exam room with my ear pressed to the door, and scaling a wall outside a church, cursing the cars coming in and out of the car park as they were drowning out the sound. What's the point of a year's worth of the same pieces, spending excruciating hours on scales with your child and agonising over aural if you don't know how they really did in the exam? I like to know if my daughter played her best, and therefore if the result is representative of her ability. My expectations of the result are then more realistic. I didn't hear her grade 6 piano exam this June as it was at school but my daughter said it went 'really badly'. I'm really anxious wating for the result as I don't know if her interpretation is correct. Anyone know when they are out?

By the way, I never let on to my daughter that I listen, and her cello teacher was shocked to the core when I told her I do!

where I do my exams only exam candidates can enter the building so parents sit in the small entrance room. I think this is good as some children might feel under pressure if their parents were listening.

Both girls had an exam this session and I taxied them to the venue.

It is possible to hear if you strain and concentrate but I busied myself making the examiner and accompanist coffees. It was lucky I wasn't intending to overhear as another family came in and the children got out violins for a practice

I don't know enough about music to tell really unless they are obviously bad.

I think that most pupils come out of the exams remembering the bad bits. I've just had 2 results from some June exams and relayed them to the families. Apparently one child told her mother that she had done really badly (this is for grade 1) but she ended up with 126 and everyone's over the moon about it. So she had picked on the little slips and faults which, in truth, were noted by the examiner but which didn't really detract from a good overall performance.

I've also found that girls of a particular age (about 12 or 13) emerge and burst into tears. It upsets their mothers dreadfully (and I was upset the first time it happened, and a little concerned the second, but took it in my stride thereafter). I prepared myself (as the teacher) for some Bad News come the brown envelope day, but no, they'd passed comfortably.

So best of luck to your daughter, rosemariem, she will probably have done very well indeed.

What's the point of a year's worth of the same pieces, spending excruciating hours on scales with your child and agonising over aural if you don't know how they really did in the exam?


ARGH!

If your child is spending a year on their exam pieces then in my opinion, they are missing out on a lot of lovely music! Yes, studying those 3 pieces for that long may make them exam-worthy but at what cost?

The pieces don't last very long in our house and they won't be the only ones on a particular instrument being played, and there's plenty of variety with several instruemtns on the go. I'm very glad to see the back of many of them

From working in an exam centre, I know that examiners can put 'stickers' on mark forms of candidates when the examiner has been aware of someone (ie teacher or parent) outside the door during the exam. Anyone know if there is a penalty for this? At most of our local centres there is a notice saying not to stand at the door of the exam room and parents/candidates/teachers are normally ushered away by the HLR, but what happens to the odd parent/teacher spotted by the examiner? Just being curious? Any teachers received mark forms with 'stickers' on them?

Never heard of this, but we did have a representative who was really strict and told us that even he wasn't allowed to wait for any length of time outside the exam room.

Oh my goodness, that's scary, to think that my daughter might be penalised if I am spotted! I did 'disobey[ orders' for her grade 5 cello exam when I sat on the stairs outside the room much to the consternation of those present, but at that time I had no idea that it was not allowed. I wonder ... that's the only cello exam she didn't get distinction for (missed by 3 marks) and she did play very well,,, and the hosts were upset I was listening ... hmmm ... her teacher thought she deserved a distinction .... food for thought. These days there are indeed notices up but I'm sure no-one inside spotted me leaving the waiting room and scaling the church wall to listen outside the window for her grade 7.

Re the piano pieces - I exaggerate - of course she does more than that in a year but you know what I mean - all that encouragement you give them, and listening in, and applauding when they play over and over again - not to mention the infernal scales (games, bribes, anythning that works here). It is good to know if she's done her best on the day so if the result is disappointing you can blame a tough examiner. Or a bad teacher! Or just realise that's the best she can do if she's played her best. Since changing teachers for piano she hasn't managed a distinction, but that could be because it's harder post grade 4.

At the centre we often go to you can usually hear some of what's going on from the waiting area. Worse still, at the private house we mostly go to you can hear everything. I usually go outside and stick my fingers in my ears, and then get into trouble from the teacher for not being able to report on how the exam went.

The centre I use is also nearly as bad for being able to hear everything and most parents continually chat to me during their child's exam to avoid listening. Worse still though, in my recent Grade 5 flute exam, I went in first before my 5 pupils (who were playing clarinet), only to find all but one of them in the waiting room when I came out having listened to me play . They all had smiles on their faces saying "We heard you stop in your study!". I suppose it shows we're all only human.

Last year a pupil of mine had an unexpectedly low mark for her grade 4 singing. She had previously always had high distinctions and this was a scrape through pass. She had been better prepared for this one and I was very surprised that she was not on form and seemed especially jumpy. She was 9.

A few weeks ago when discussing what to do next she informed me that the reason she did badly was because her mother (having been asked nicely to stop looking through the keyhole) had gone outside and was watching everything through the window in the eyeline of her daughter although the examiner could not see apparently. The little girl said it put her off and she kept wanting to giggle as she saw her mum jumping up and down at the window.

This is too much I think!

Heck, it's a pity that the kid didn't say something to the examiner, who could have called the steward. That's not only unhelpful to the child, it's incredibly rude to the examiner, especially if she'd already been advised that her behaviour was a problem.


...you aren't having us on, are you?!

Sadly not. It happened.

I run my own centre at school and find that despite the large signs parents almost always ignore them and attempt to stand right outside the door. One time the examiner came out and said that they must wait in the waiting area. I ask them to move and they do but each time I go in to accompany they all pile out again! I have an extra steward for when I am in the exam room but no notice is taken of them apparently.

As a parent I can understand that some would want to hear but surely not to disregard regulations?