My (just turned 10yr) daughter got her latest exam results a couple of months back now and they weren't what she wanted (still damn good though! And so we keep telling her) She has always done very well and been awarded a distinction, this last time she was 3 marks short and it has really knocked her confidence.

I think she has always found that things (musically) have always come to her quickly without her having to put in much effort (yes she's one of the talented but lazy and wont use it group lol) And she just thought it would all be ok. Poor thing got a push into the real world though and i think has learned a valuable lesson about practise.

The sad thing is it seems to have knocked her passion also. She's never been into practising all that much, she'll do as little as is possible but always enough to sound good.
Now though she just doesn't seem to have much interest at all, she loves her lessons and her instruments and wont hear of having a break or anything such like but something is very much missing?

I'm not sure if some of it might be because she's now in between grades and so doesn't have anything to sink her teeth into?

We have alot of music books here with fun pieces etc but she wont even look at them.

Any ideas how i can support/help her?

Ty!
Rachael.

I'm in a similar position, as my daughter (now 16), who has never been in the habit of practising much, has now been attending the Conservatoire for a year and the teacher she has is most disorganized and a little confusing as to how she should play pieces, scales, etc and exactly how often she should practise. My daughter seems to have lost much of her motivation over this last year and comparing what she used to do with her previous teacher, who prepared her for the Conservatoire exam, she is now practising about half as much. I'm sorry to have to witness this process and I have often suggested she should return to her previous teacher say, to have a class once a month or so, but she says she's too busy for that. As an adult and a passionate piano student (for 3 years now ! ) I know how easy it is to get discouraged and to lose interest in practising if there is nothing/nobody to help keep it alive (and I have suffered from this in the past) but simply don't know how to behave and my wife is not musical herself, doesn't encourage my daughter's musical education and is consequently for a very passive attitude, so I'm sort of alone in this. On the other hand, it is only for children to realise to what extent they love music and practising their instrument and just how much they're prepared to take the great frustration and discouragement that go with the joy and sense of achievement involved in practice and hard work. I myself would welcome suggestions!

I think that a post exam dip is not unusual for starters.

Maybe some new 'fun' music will get her up and playing again.
Maybe she's just got to the place where she is beginning to have to think about whether she wants the improvement enough to start putting in the time it will now need?
If she's still enjoying her lessons I'd let it go for a bit but make sure that her teachers are aware of the situation. They may have some ideas to get her going again.

All the things people have suggested are really good but you may get some more ideas if we know which instrument/grade.

When my daughter had a disappointment with her Grade 5 Flute she did a sideways move and looked at some Jazz. She really enjoys improvising and has gone on to take Jazz exams. If your daughter has more than one instrument then it's sometimes difficult to prioritise. You may find you need to have some gentle input if this is the case.

Could you go along to a concert on the instrument or buy her some music to listen to? Perhaps a trip to a music shop and letting her chose a book she really wants to play might help.

It's often difficult between grades for children who enjoy taking exams.

hi mr.which conservatoire is she at?i presume birmingham?

As both parent and teacher I think it can be particularly hard to do an exam at the end of the summer term and get the result ............ and then what do you do while you're waiting for the autumn term?

That's often what happens. Sometimes it does no harm to have time off, but equally I usually leave my pupils some ideas of what to do in the summer break. Taking an exam can feel like really hard work, so interest needs to be rekindled gently. You may have some fun books at home, but I wonder whether you could go and buy a book that has accompaniments in it on CD or floppy disk for the keyboard and pieces that she'd really like to play - the Hal Leonard series can be good for this on the piano, for example. Choosing a book with pieces in it that she'd like to play can feel like a very personal thing, and at the age of 10 she's into tweenager kind of feelings.

Rachel, I'm sorry your daughter's having a dip but I think it's fairly normal. A few marks off distinction is still a great mark and something that a lot of kids would give their eye-teeth for, but I do understand that if she's been used to doing better then it's a disappointment.

It's quite a blow when they find for the first time the amount of work they are doing isn't enough. A friend of mine has two daughters, one who hardly practised but got distinctions for grades 1 and 2 (flute) and the other who worked hard but barely passed her first clarinet exam. Next time around, the flautist did even less work than usual and got a pass, whereas the clarinetist practised like mad and scraped a merit. It was a hard pill for the flautist to swallow. She knew she could have done a lot, lot better, but she had never had to work - let alone work hard - at anything, and this was the first time that not working hadn't worked (if you see what I mean!).

A little time off probably wouldn't hurt and then, has already been said, to the music shop to find something she would like to play. Maybe a mix of things would be a good idea - something she would find relatively easy so can play well almost straight away, and something a bit more demanding (but still fun). Last summer it was hard to get my son even to sit at the piano. This summer he has a couple of pieces he is really enjoying, plus a blues piece that I found that he likes and the book he got last summer (on advice from here after posting something similar to you ) and it's a different story. He was pretty disappointed with his grade 5 result this year, but I think the choice of pieces for him has helped him forget about it and move on.

Good luck

My son had a similar experience this time around for his Grade 2 violin-we were very sure of getting a high distinction but ended up 3 marks short of one. Reasons being, he had actually failed his aural test and apparently had a very difficult and "mean" examiner. We had known all along after his grade 1 exam that he had to work on his grade 1 aural because it was his weak point, and we made sure we had all our areas covered. Apparently, he had full marks for his scales...and 26/27 points for his 3 pieces. My son can't quite remember what was required of him during the test, but didn't really think he did any major mistakes. Our music director phoned us during the holidays as soon as he got the results, and conveyed his re-assurance that it was only because it was a very strict examiner...what luck. I didn't think an appeal would have been possible as we didn't even have the papers with us. Funnily enough, although my son had the same expectation that he would have had earned a distinction this time, he wasn't at all devastated about his results. I think that is because he has other "concerns", being an 8 year old!

My advice is for your daughter to take a break for a couple of weeks and just engage her in music in some other way, like going to concerts and listening to CDs on a daily basis just to get her "creative juices" flowing. Perhaps she might start to play some pieces herself. Hope this helps. Could you get some private "masterclass" tutoring during these holidays? It might help rekindle her interest if she was given a new challenge by another tutor?

Best regards,
Beezmum

What about a holiday music course? My daughter has very much enjoyed Musicale last week and hearing musicians who are much better than her has rekindled her interest as she wants to improve to reach their level.

Same thing happened to my daughter at Grade 5 flute, having always achieved distinction before this just managed to achieve a pass at Grade 5. The distinction became illusive for her - always 2 or 3 marks off. However she now has passed her last 3 exams with distinction (2 of them being grade 8 exams) so it all came back in the end.
I always found it hard to know how to react. Of course a merit is an excellent result but if they are aiming for a distinction then it is bound to be a disappointment. However it is very positive to have children who aim high and have good ambition and yours will bounce back. I also asked around at this stage for my daughter and others advised her to be involved in as much music for possible for fun, particularly to play with others in groups and orchestras. We did this and it really does help motivation. it gives children a reason for playing other than that examination grade.

Poor child. Has the change sapped your daughter's confidence? She presumably had a good relationship with her former teacher, and must have known her teacher thought she was good. Is she unclear what her new teacher thinks of her? Does the lack of orgainization come across as lack of interest? It is hard for an adult to remain positive faced with that. And if she doesn't know what she should be practising - how's she suppose to work out her own programme? I'm not sure what the answer is - complaining about teacher is easy to suggest but hard to do. But good grief, you are supposed to be getting the best.

I probably shouldn't say this - as I hope your daughter's problems will resolve without extreme action - but I read an interview with author Christopher Hope and violinist son Daniel Hope (Guardian maybe). Apparently dad spotted he was unhappy at the Menuhin school and suggested he leave. What a brave dad. All turned out well.



Absolutely.

Rachael, what does her teacher think? Has s/he any ideas on what you might do? S/he knows your daughter and will also have seen this kind of disappointment before and seen all manner of responses from disappointed pupils. S/he will also be aware that your daughter has got this far without practice. While sometimes teachers in the end just have to watch talent go to waste because the will to practise (work) isn't there, they must also see some eureka moments - when a student sees what they might achieve and starts to work for it. All the best.

I would second that: Our son (now 15) attended one of the Oundle for Organists courses, and whilst he never lacked motivation, he came back with so much enthusiasm that he has never looked back.

Our daughter (now 11) also attended a three day brass learning and playing event at a local school during the summer holidays, which encouraged her no end.

Attending a variety of live performances is also a good idea, (not neccesarily professional events), as it gives your child something to strive for, other than just working for grades.

SB

I've been reading this thread with interest...and at a loss to reply, really, because I feel there are periods when kids do take a little detour to confirm that their feet are on the right path. At 10-11, it seems that they are moving towards their own tastes in music...even if they may have no idea how to put their ideas into practice. (Especially, "practice" ).

I suppose one way out of the angst is to say "once we start music lessons, we will continue them until you turn 12/finish primary school/??", and then simply regard dry periods as an inevitable evil.

And at the same time, I guess that as parents we do gradually move into the back seat, but it takes a while for us to get settled in there! My husband was just commenting that he was happy for son Viohazard to aim for some kind of musical career...that wasn't true 5 years ago, and it's hard to say how he got from there to here, but he did.

How about "musical heroes/heroines"? It really helps kids focus on what they are aiming for if they listen to different performers, and really listen to the sound their favourite performers produce.

Yes; it is an interesting thread, but I feel we need to be careful not to throw the babes out with the bathwater.

First of all, music must be enjoyable for youngsters; otherwise they will either become bored, dull or both.

Secondly, regardless of whether youngsters take up a musical career, or even continue playing, music has been shown to improve concentration and performance in other subjects; which is one of the reasons that public schools like to maintain strong music departments;

Finally, there are many many careers involving music which do not involve playing in front of an audience. These include teaching, sound recording, sound control and engineering, and o course the design and manufacture of musical instruments themselves. Did you know, for example, that the exhaust pipes on two stroke motorcycles are designed on similar principles to an organ pipe? (This is why Yamaha was so successful in racing).

Music is also used for therapeutic purposes, and I know of one lady musician who is employed by a charity doing just this.

Our own son is a very keen organist, who at the age of 15 regularly plays in public. However, he is also very interested in electronics and mechanical systems (including steam trains ), so he may well end up building the things as well as playing them.

SB

So that's why they're so noisy!!!