Ok, so I invited my friend to come to my house today and he hasn't come yet, an hour after he said he would be here. I've texted him to ask him where he was (about 40 mins ago) and have had no reply. Bearing in mind that he lives 10 mins away and that we never ever have traffic jams this far out in the countryside - where is he?! We've been friends for years; we went to prep school together until we were 13. Then we both went off to different schools, and he recently started boarding at his school. Since then he's been really different It's like he's being influenced by the people at his school more than his family and up-bringing. (To put it in context, without being too exact, the school he goes to is on a par with Eton College) I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive here, or if he just really doesn't want to spend time with me any more. Everyone in my house is out so it's just me and I don't know whether to ring him or not. I hate being confrontational though - and I hope nothing awful's happened to him, but this is the second time he hasn;t turned up to something we've arranged! What do you think?

I'm going out. I've decided. He's obviously not interested in spending time with me (even though I'm his best friend, and he had major problems fitting in socially with the people at his school last term) so I'm not waiting any longer for him and I'm off to visit my nan!!

I hope you and your friend manage to work things out.

I've had my moments where this sort of thing is concerned... What's his punctuality usually like?

So many of the people I knew at school have changed over the past year since going into The Sixth Form and I seem to have ended up falling out of touch with them... I'd hate this to happen to other people.

Thanks Matthew He's currently on facebook (I just checked) so is therefore at home, and presumably fine. That means he has no excuse for not coming round! He used to be super dependable and always on time, but this has gone out of the window since he started boarding when we got to 6th form. I just feel like I'm not as important or exciting for him as all his new millionaire friends, and it's quite hurtful really. (He once invited me to his school on a Sunday and you wouldn't believe it at all - I even go to a "posh" school and I was totally overwhelmed by it) I hope we don;t end up not being friends, but he needs to demonstrate that he still wants to be my friend - instead of blowing hot and cold and just spending time with me when it suits him! (according to his facebook status, last night's party with the new-found so-called friends in a swanky hotel was "immense". Gah! These people didn't want to know him 3 months ago.)

My friends do this too. My best friend right through primary and secondary school discovered males before me and that was it. When I came home from university, went into hospital etc she never once enquired as to how I was, and when we arranged to meet she never turned up. On the one occasion she actually managed to be there, she spoke very out of turn and I realised that I barely knew her any more. So I know how you feel too.

Sorry to hear this, FluteDiva. People do change, but IMO it's just plain rude not to turn up when you've made an arrangement. Are you sure he hasn't simply forgotten? Teenage boys have dreadful memories, and maybe his phone wasn't on when you sent your text? (OK, I'm clutching at straws, but I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt! )

Between about 16 and 21 is just an age range where people are still "discovering themselves", so they can change an awful lot. Not always, but quite often. I didn't stay in touch with any of my friends back from secondary school or college because they were no longer the same people I'd grown so fond of...

And not just teenage boys - I once had a workmate who one day invited me round for a girls' evening, and when I arrived, that same evening, she opened the door, looked very surprised and said "oh hello, what are you doing here?" Fortunately she's still one of my oldest and best friends, and we still have a laugh about her dreadful memory

Well I really do hope he's just forgotten. But even that would be very rude imo - we only arranged this 2 days ago and spoke on msn yesterday about it. He is changing into a bit of a snob really, to be blunt. He used to not care about how many holidays one had been on that year or how many bedrooms there were in your house etc, but he did annoy me a little yesterday by saying "oh poor you - you haven;t been on holiday this year, but I've been on 4". He doesn't seem to understand that things like that aren't the be all and end all of life! Of course holidays and huge houses are lovely, but it's nice for me if my parents just take a week of and we spend time as a family really doing little things. (They're normally super busy: dad is a surgeon, mum is an anaethetist). Thanks for your comments everyone - it's nice to come on here and read that I'm not the only one who has friendship issues. (although, all my friends from school are fine . It's just that in the summer it's a bit isolated to be so far out in the countryside for 9 weeks)

People change. I think it's a bit harsh not to turn up.

Are you sure he didn't just plain forget? Or got the wrong date?

I'm a terribly forgetful person. My two friends and I had organised to practice a trio on Sunday. On Saturday morning at 10am when I was still in bed, I got a phone call asking where on earth I was. It turned out they'd said Saturday after all, so I nipped over there quickly. I still swear she said Sunday...

So he might not have meant it at all. Unless I missed a bit in the OP?

Oh dear... we're both currently on facebook, and he can see I'm online but isn't speaking even though he normally does. Also, considering that it's results day I think it's a shame that he hasn't texted me or anything. Unless he thinks I'm being rude because I haven't texted him That would be silly though because he must have remembered that he was meant to be coming round by now?! Aaaaah what a mess!

It could be that he has forgotten, particularly if he went to a party last night, he seen you on facebook, wonders why you haven't texted him because it is results day - put yourself out of your misery and text or phone him, at least then you will know where you stand.

I have a friend, who I consider to be my best friend but at times she can be very absent minded. On numerous occasions I have been let down, but it hasn't been anything malicious she just plainly forgot all about our arrangements.

ET

I'm sorry he's let you down, and I hope it's not intentional. I'm tempted to say 'ask him' - 'Are you becoming a snob?' but that might be a bit too blunt. Unfortunately, he has to survive at school, and if he was unhappy before, when the other lot didn't want to know him, perhaps he's found a way to fit in which (again) unfortunately means that he feels he's had to change his priorities, and just for now has lost sight of who he was, who he is and what's really important. I hope it's only temporary, but if you have been really good friends, you might be able to say to him that it's not on to let other people down, and it's not on to comment on numbers of holidays and so on, because that isn't what makes someone worth knowing.

I hope it's just a blip. Good luck.

I'd just go round to his house and talk to him. It's vaguely feasible that he has a good excuse for not coming round, it being results day and all, so some people will be rushing round like mad things trying to sort out uni places etc. Also, him being on facebook doesn't necessarily mean he actually was on facebook as it can log you in automatically if the internet's on. Of course, he may have deliberately decided not to come, although that seems unlikely given what you've said. Just talk to him.