I have to say, when I read stories like this, I really begin to wonder why these people want to get married at all?

I know everyone wants a day to remember (for the right reasons), but why does that always have to mean cost, extravagance, complication, and being downright mean to everyone who happens to cross their path?

SB

Interesting wedding coming up tomorrow.... A fellow from a far-off country who is 40 years younger than his bride. No family expected. Special license to get married as it's at very short notice. Hmmm....

Crumbs. I wonder how long she stayed married.

How very convenient!

I turned up for the 1p.m wedding on Saturday to find a lady in posh hat, like a galleon in full sail, directing operations 40 mins before kick -off.

Neither the chorister nor I were required, it seems; they were bringing their own musicians. Two clergy happened to be in the building and neither the Priest in Charge nor the one taking the wedding had any idea of this change in plan. Secretly I was not sorry to have the afternoon off but I was slightly irritated to be airily dismissed by this wannabe General (who would have made the Duke of Wellington blench).

It was Gift Day so I suggested aloud that my fee should be donated to the pot; so if it turns out that Mrs General was not intending to pay for an organist then she will be the tight-wad.

My Christian charity was in sufficiently short supply to hope that their replacement made horlicks of it on a strange instrument, as I would have done.

Shame you didn't get a chance to pop into the innards of the instrument and change a few things around or remove some pipes

This is an amazing account of a truly dreadful day. The amazing part is that the clergy let the organist be treated in so disgraceful a manner.

"...neither the Priest in Charge nor the one taking the wedding had any idea of this change in plan. "

Why not? It is the job of the clergy to be in charge. The priest should have taken over and told the lady "No!". It is unacceptable for the Priest not to deal with such appalling behaviour. He or she should have dealt with it firmly. They have the power and the legal authority.

Whoever booked the organist should ensure that the fee was paid to the organist in accordance with the law, or pay it themself.

It is for these reasons that I advise everyone to have a written contract in place. If you are not the organist of the church (i.e. you are deputising,) then an exchange of emails, a letter or at the least a note of the telephone co,nversation, will be sufficient to ensure that action can be taken to recover the fee. What the organist does with the fee after receipt is nothing to do with anyone.

I am appalled and shocked, though not surprised.

Barry Williams

Thank you for your words of support Barry. Yes, there were 2 clergy there but I think they were all in a state of confusion and embarrassed to have been wrong-footed; that's probably why more forceful action doesn't tend to get taken in these instances.
We have a schedule of weddings and on this day there was a notice stating that a choir of 6 would be present, (we only have a choir of 2 so something was clearly in the offing) but no other warning. Quite often a friend, relative or member(s) of the local Am Op Soc will do a turn during the signing of the register but it is unheard of for a stranger to be parachuted in to play the organ without prior arrangement.

Throughout the exchange there was no doubt who was in charge: Posh Hat held sway because she was the customer (or was acting for the customer) - I shall ask tomorrow why the curate wasn't told about the musical arrangements at the rehearsal (probably because she didn't ask! She it was who complained about me earlier this year for causing her 'stress' because I arrived only 8 minutes before the wedding was due to start) and when I can expect my fee, if it hasn't been added to the Gift Day fund.

This is a disgrace all round.

The clergy are in charge, and should have taken charge in this case. At one time nobody would have dared cross the clergy; now they just want to be nice to everybody, but make a right horlicks of everything as a result.

Wedding parties should be told from the outset that they haven't hired the church for the day, and it isn't theirs to do what they want with for the duration. Furthermore, they don’t have any jurisdiction over ‘staff’, and should be told as much.

I would also ban wedding photographers from church until after the service unless they can do their job unobtrusively.

SB