Hi Folks.
Just in case anyone wondered why I am so quiet
My Mum is moving next week, so we are busy helping now. THe stairs are a problem for her, and since my Step-Dad died in April, she has thought long and hard, and decided to make the move sooner rather than in a flat panic later. It's all very exciting/hard work/emotional. She has done so much arranging on her own and I am proud of her, but now she is getting flustered and upset, so we have to take the reins a bit.
Bev

Good to see you posting again Bev.

Still thinking of you all.

Good luck Bev, hope things go well for her. A lot of my friends Mum's have gone into sheltered housing and they have made lots of friends and have great social lives. Hope your Mum settles in and it will take the pressure off you a bit.

ET

I have just moved my 90 y.o. mum to sheltered housing after long thought on her part - or rather helped her move, as she has been incredibly competent in doing most of the preparation herself. While there are real practical advantages (and she has a nice flat) the move has not been easy, and I think she feels rather less able just because she has much less to do (and is also a long way from most of her friends).

I do hope your move goes well, and that your experience is different from mine, but don't be too taken aback if there is some sadness or depression afterwards. It's quite an adjustment, and hard for children as well. We just want our parents to be happy, but there is not always anything we can do to ensure this.

Nick

Thinking of you and your mum Bev and hoping all goes well.

Hope the move goes smoothly and that your mum settles in well xxx



On a slightly different but related matter if you don't mind me posting this Bev... an elderly relative of mine recently broke his hip in a fall and had to go into hospital. It was decided that he couldn't go back home to live as he was on his own, so he went into a nursing home. Naturally the family were worried about how he would take it, but he has *never once* asked about going back home and he is very happy and content there. I thought I'd post in case anyone is going through a similar situation - sometimes things work out differently (and better) from what you spend so much time agonising over.

And like eldatom, I know people who live in managed retirement flats and who have adapted very well, finding a lot of mutual support and enjoyment with others who are in the same situation.

You're in my thoughts: we moved harpsidoc's then 90year old mum to sheltered housing a year ago, and had to face the major hassle of two different systems for buying and selling property, as she was coming from Leeds to Edinburgh - the upheaval was considerable, and we had a lot of stress from it, but the results have been fantastic: she went from being isolated and anxious, with health worries and difficulties getting up and down her own stairs, to being in a warm and welcoming community, whose health worries are still there, but with relatives close by to help out at only a few minutes' notice. She can get to the shops and doctor, and is joining in with the activities offered at the complex: other residents have been friendly and she is building bridges - I'm amazed at how well she has settled in, and she has become far less worried and querulous. And everyone says she's a fantastic lady . So all the best for the move, for all of you, and I hope she can thrive in the change as much as my mother-in-law has .

Hi Bev! Good to hear from you again.

I hope the move works out well for your Mum; she is bound to find it stressful to move so soon after her husband's death, but it's good that she's decided that's what she wants to do. Just keep supporting her and be prepared for a few tears and regrets until she's settled in.

I wish my Mum could be persuaded to move. We've just had her for a fortnight, and it's clear she's gone downhill a lot over the last year (she's 89 and lives alone); I don't think she's really looking after herself properly. We did have some discussions, but she is desperately keen to stay where she is, even though the stairs are really a bit much for her now (she can't have a stair lift because it's an older property and the stairs are too narrow and twisty). I feel the writing is on the wall, but at the moment she's playing illiterate!

Thinking of you and your mum, Bev. Wishing her all the best.

Hope things work out well for you Bev and especially your mum.

Thanks for all the insights and good wishes. I have had a very busy day with Mum.
We went to the flat to see the decorating, very smelly of paint, but beautifully done. Light and airy.
Then I measured up. We had a pub lunch and went to the shops. BOught curtain rails for my Barry to put up on Friday, and ready made curtains for both the windows. Also some extras like bins and so on.
THe carpets are going down tomorrow. Curtains etc on Friday along with scrubbing the compact bathroom and kitchen. THe BIG MOVE next week.
I am cream crackered.
Choir chilled me out though.
Bev

Mum's in today. I have left her quite happy with the flat. Tomorrow, I have only 8 boxes left to unpack.
I had so much help from my Barry, his Uncle and Aunt, and my friend Sharon. Lovely people.
Will that be it for this year?? Mum moving house, Bernard dying, and Barry losing his job?????
I flamin' well hope so.

I'm glad the move seems to have gone well - and I hope that's it for you for a while. They say things go in threes, so I think you've had your fair share now.

I hope your mother has a good night; and you too

Well done Bev, I hope you all have a peaceful evening and a good night's sleep... and this is for you to relax with xx

Hi Bev

Hope that your Mum settles in well and things start to get better for you.

ET

Glad today went well, Bev - and glad to know you have a good team round you!

All the best for the next few days

xx

Hope your Mum settles into her new place Bev and that you get chance to rest.

Glad your Mum's safely in, Bev. I'm sure it was well worth the trouble, and I hope she'll be very happy there.

You should sleep the sleep of the just tonight!

I have just been to "Fat Club", which my mate Lyn and I call Slimming World. I have lost 3 1/2 lbs in 2 weeks. Now my jeans are not tight. This should be in the Diet thread.
Thanks for all the good wishes.
I am back tomorrow to unpack the rest of the boxes. Mum is mentally capable of doing it, but a stroke 10 years ago left her right hand almost unusable.

You are doing a great job there, Bev. Mrs G and I wish you and your Mum all the best, and we hope she soon settles in her new home.

Thanks everyone, just 2 boxes left. Mum happy in her surroundings, but upset that she can't "picture" Bernard there. I put some photos up to help.
We still have the rest of the house, attic and garage to empty.
Bev.

Well done to you and your mum - you've both done fantastically well. Hubby's a star as well by the sound of it - you'll get there, bit by bit

Ah, yes. At least she is able to express that. My OH has done the same with family photos for his mum. She is older than your mum and gets confused now about who people are.

Continuing good wishes Bev x

Mum is having a whale of a time.
The first week was awful because she was unwell. However.............from Friday onwards she has been to coffee mornings and afternoon teas with cake Met some very nice old ladies who are her type........went out for a walk with the one today. Can you imagine them, with their tripod walkers speeding around the roads
She used the big shower room, and managed alone.
Next week, we are doing lampshades, head board for the bed, and shelves/mirrors.
I have come down a notch or ten.
Bev

How nice to hear that things are turning out well. Very best wishes to you and your mum.

Hi Bev

This is so lovely to hear and must be a big weight off your mind.

Good luck with the lampshades, headboard and shelves and mirrors - sounds like fun.

ET

Wonderful news Bev! Well done to your mum for settling in so quickly, and well done you for helping that to happen

Glad your mum is settling in Bev hope all continues to go well

I'm glad things seem to be working out OK for you and your Mum, Bev.

Time for you to relax for a bit now Bev. Hope your Mum continues to enjoy her new home.