Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Learn Piano In Two Days
Forums > Viva Network > Viva Piano
Mad Tom
It should only take two days to learn to play piano "like a master". Gee whizz. How cool is that?You can find out how for just $50, here: http://www.pianobypattern.com/

Yes I know - very silly. Is anyone taken in by this nonsense?

This site is a lot more useful: http://www.piano-lessons-master-teachers.com/

Mini_mo
QUOTE(Mad Tom @ Sep 22 2009, 11:11 AM) *

It should only take two days to learn to play piano "like a master". Gee whizz. How cool is that?You can find out how for just $50, here: http://www.pianobypattern.com/

Yes I know - very silly. Is anyone taken in by this nonsense?

This site is a lot more useful: http://www.piano-lessons-master-teachers.com/


Bernie might wink.gif
Solari
QUOTE(Sales Spiel)

The simple secret patterns that will cut your training down by 84%, and have you sounding like a professional concert piano almost overnight.


Eh? I'll have a voice like a Steinway in the morning? tongue.gif

Typo, I'm sure. But cool, I will be able to play like Horowitz with minimal effort, I'll buy two! biggrin.gif

QUOTE(More Sales Stuff)

Watch as your fingers move lightning fast while you perform the trickiest of piano skills!

What a load of absolute tosh, if there's a way of speeding my fingers up to the level required to play the revolutionary Etude in 24 hours, then plug me into the Matrix or whatever it is tongue.gif
missypiano
2 days seems like such a long time to learn to play the piano!!!
IPB Image
Why waste 24 hours??!!!! biggrin.gif
Mini_mo
My piano teacher is ripping me off! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
Digby
Ahhh, bless him... tongue.gif

PianoGalway
MT ssssshhhh!!!!! you'll have all us poor teachers out of a job..

when I think of all the hours and years I've been learning the piano and I could have made it so much easier on myself... rolleyes.gif
Crotchetymum
QUOTE(missypiano @ Sep 22 2009, 11:36 AM) *

2 days seems like such a long time to learn to play the piano!!!
IPB Image
Why waste 24 hours??!!!! biggrin.gif


laugh.gif

nickjones8
Anyone can play piano - just plonk your fingers on the keys. I could play every note on the piano is much less than 24 hours.



Playing music on the piano is a different matter.
anacrusis
At my sprogs' (secondary) school, they had about three class music lessons involving pressing about four keys on electronic keyboards. Then they changed to drums because, "you've now learnt to play keyboard". Erm...... ph34r.gif
Digby
QUOTE(PianoGalway @ Sep 22 2009, 11:56 AM) *

MT ssssshhhh!!!!! you'll have all us poor teachers out of a job..

when I think of all the hours and years I've been learning the piano and I could have made it so much easier on myself... rolleyes.gif


I like the bit in the blurb where he says 'ask any piano teacher - it normally takes a year to learn to play the piano, - then just in case we didn't know - thats 12 months, or 365 days laugh.gif

So I've been playing for more than a year, well 30 years - does this mean I know everything?
Jacobi
So no shortcut to success for the violin/string instruments then? rolleyes.gif

Rats!

Only the piano can be learned in two days... laugh.gif laugh.gif
Susie
Reminds me of a nurse I encountered at our doctors' surgery. She was miffed that I didn't let her inject one of my children. So when, in conversation, I said I was a piano teacher, she sniffed and said her daughter didn't need a teacher. She was learning it all from a book. mad.gif unsure.gif
maggiemay
laugh.gif

if you are thinking of getting into this, be aware that it's designed for a keyboard that has black notes in groups of five.

If you don't believe me click on the link ...
PianissiMole
Now I know why my playing doesn't sound right, there are obviously lots of black notes missing from my piano! wacko.gif
anacrusis
Ah, it's Condensed Piano....
barry-clari
QUOTE(anacrusis @ Sep 22 2009, 04:47 PM) *

At my sprogs' (secondary) school, they had about three class music lessons involving pressing about four keys on electronic keyboards. Then they changed to drums because, "you've now learnt to play keyboard". Erm...... ph34r.gif


That is shocking, and a terrible indictment on music education in some schools.

Makes me sad sad.gif
Maizie
QUOTE(Digby @ Sep 22 2009, 05:09 PM) *
So I've been playing for more than a year, well 30 years - does this mean I know everything?
It means you know THIRTY TIMES everything! You genius, you biggrin.gif

PS Looking at the fact I've written a bit in captials (why didn't I just use bold or italic?), I think our friend BERNIE might find a course such as this of INTEREST.
Digby
QUOTE(Maizie @ Sep 23 2009, 08:55 AM) *

QUOTE(Digby @ Sep 22 2009, 05:09 PM) *
So I've been playing for more than a year, well 30 years - does this mean I know everything?
It means you know THIRTY TIMES everything! You genius, you biggrin.gif

PS Looking at the fact I've written a bit in captials (why didn't I just use bold or italic?), I think our friend BERNIE might find a course such as this of INTEREST.



####### - so why couldn't I work out 3 bars in my new piece this morning then? I was obviously using the wrong elementary finger patterns laugh.gif
JoMook
Gets slated reviews in here:

http://www.pianocoursereviews.com/Piano-By...CFdRb4wodVDao0w

Looks like they DO give the money back if requested, but they probably base their "business model" around the fact that a certain percentage of people will not bother.
chocolatedog
I like it - learn to play piano without learning the notes????? blink.gif ohmy.gif Cool! So how does he play the Beethoven sonatas then?
Robodoc
I'm sure that Tom the Cat did a much simpler course: Three lessons and only 6 notes in total - it took him about 5 seconds! Then he threw the book away and launched into (I think) a Chopin Waltz (from memory!)

After that when Tom played Jerry danced, until Tom stopped to try and catch Jerry, then Jerry ran for it!

I think the course as advertised in the link in the OP falls into the same category of fiction as Tom & Jerry's course.
Digby
QUOTE(Robodoc @ Sep 23 2009, 08:23 PM) *

I'm sure that Tom the Cat did a much simpler course: Three lessons and only 6 notes in total - it took him about 5 seconds! Then he threw the book away and launched into (I think) a Chopin Waltz (from memory!)

After that when Tom played Jerry danced, until Tom stopped to try and catch Jerry, then Jerry ran for it!

I think the course as advertised in the link in the OP falls into the same category of fiction as Tom & Jerry's course.



I liked the Tom and Jerry Listz one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWGQaczNL5I here's the link for anyone who hasn't seen it, it's a must, honestly one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
BerkshireMum
Thanks for that link, Digby - it's just given my son and me a great laugh! biggrin.gif
Mad Tom
QUOTE(BerkshireMum @ Sep 23 2009, 11:15 PM) *

Thanks for that link, Digby - it's just given my son and me a great laugh! biggrin.gif

That cartoon is the reason that Lang Lang took up the piano!!!!
sarah123
One of the keyboard's black keys is broken. dry.gif BUT... if you click on the one without a label, you get $10 off! woot.gif laugh.gif

I have to say though, I'm quite enjoying the whole-tone white notes. I think a redesign of the standard keyboard is called for. biggrin.gif
Solari
QUOTE(sarah123 @ Sep 23 2009, 11:01 PM) *

One of the keyboard's black keys is broken.


LOL! Great design biggrin.gif

Inspires you with confidence!
anacrusis
similar set of jokes, and a few new ones: bugs bunny doing battle with another mouse. Liberties with the actual structures of pianos taken in both cartoons laugh.gif
BerkshireMum
QUOTE(Mad Tom @ Sep 23 2009, 10:53 PM) *

QUOTE(BerkshireMum @ Sep 23 2009, 11:15 PM) *

Thanks for that link, Digby - it's just given my son and me a great laugh! biggrin.gif

That cartoon is the reason that Lang Lang took up the piano!!!!

What, seriously?! ohmy.gif
Digby
QUOTE(BerkshireMum @ Sep 23 2009, 11:43 PM) *

QUOTE(Mad Tom @ Sep 23 2009, 10:53 PM) *

QUOTE(BerkshireMum @ Sep 23 2009, 11:15 PM) *

Thanks for that link, Digby - it's just given my son and me a great laugh! biggrin.gif

That cartoon is the reason that Lang Lang took up the piano!!!!

What, seriously?! ohmy.gif


Yes - to be fair, he was 2 at the time.
Robodoc
The one I was thinking of was "Johann Mouse": It was 6 lessons not 3, 9 notes not 6 and Johann Strauss the younger, not Chopin. Still . . .
Johann Mouse
smile.gif
Digby
QUOTE(Robodoc @ Sep 24 2009, 06:40 PM) *

The one I was thinking of was "Johann Mouse": It was 6 lessons not 3, 9 notes not 6 and Johann Strauss the younger, not Chopin. Still . . .
Johann Mouse
smile.gif


So funny, the Fred Quimby ones are legendary.
Juan Carlos
QUOTE(Mad Tom @ Sep 23 2009, 09:53 PM) *

QUOTE(BerkshireMum @ Sep 23 2009, 11:15 PM) *

Thanks for that link, Digby - it's just given my son and me a great laugh! biggrin.gif

That cartoon is the reason that Lang Lang took up the piano!!!!

.....................
The sites you suggest containing interviews with famous pianists is great. Thank you.
But in reality, I am posting to say that I am so very glad you decided to post again. I hadn't been to the Forum for about a fortnight and it was good to see you among us Forumites once again. Welcome back! party1.gif party1.gif party1.gif
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.