I've completely lost any hope in music, sad isn't it? I used to be so enthusiastic, and dash up to my room, and play my flute as hard as I possibly could, and skip to the piano, making it as beautiful as I could

Now it's like, what's the point? I even regret getting a piccolo, and a clavinova, because they cost so much money, and I just don't feel like I'm any good at it. Urgh. Sorry. I'm just in such a confused mood.

I've been in a play rehearsing from 7-10:15pm every night for the past two weeks, not getting into bed until midnight usually because of dropping a friend home. And so I have had to shift music out of the way over the past couple of months, to make time. Now I've gone back to school, and joined back in with the big orchestra, taking a friend who has been playing for 6 or 7 years and is a grade above me, with me but had never been to the senior one before. We sightread the flute part, then were asked to sightread the oboe part for that week, because there were no oboes, and the part was vital, and I can't sightread to save my life, and my music teacher asked "what grade are you again?" because last year I was no good in the orchestra at all, and I bet she's thinking "Gaaaawwwdd why has she come again, there's no way she's grade 5!"

My flute teacher is concentrating on her master's degree atm, and as a result we haven't had a lesson for 5 weeks although we were "continuing over summer", and I've got no inspiration for anything to play, everything sounds bad now that I've adjusted my embouchure. Piano is ok I suppose, but I'm only on grade 3, and I'm battling between trying to learn things I like to play, or playing the things which will improve my technique.

ARRGGRGRHHH. When will it all be back the way it was?

It's no wonder you are feeling down with all that going on. When things start to quieten down and you feel less tired I'm sure you will feel better about music making. Try and condition yourself into playing for a short period something that you like.

Don't do what I've done with photography and let someones nasty comment make you give up or become frustrated.

Good luck with sorting things out.

Don't worry, Robyn, I think we all get these sort of episodes. I feel like I've gone off the boil but I'm soldiering on with pieces I really want to learn which gives a nice break from the grade pieces, scales etc.

Perhaps you need to just sit down and enjoy playing stuff that you really want to play, rather than working towards exams? Get on the piano and play some easy but satisfying stuff If you want a few new pieces to try, I can probably point you in the direction of some new stuff ~Grade 2/3?

I'm not surprised your music doesn't feel right at the moment - you must be shattered. When are the performances of your play? When it's over, and you have a bit more time, contact your flute teacher. I know she's busy, but 5 weeks or more is a long time to go without any lesson at all - on the one hand you've got no-one encouraging you, and on the other you have got people like the orchestra woman making remarks that are going to spoil your pleasure in your instruments. Don't be discouraged - take Solari's advice and just play things on the piano that you really like and which aren't too taxing. It will get better.

Get a few early nights. Every day take a half hour or so of whatever exercise you enjoy (yoga, swim, run, walk - whatever). Take care to eat sensibly.

You'll soon feel fine and recover your love of music and enthusiasm for making it.

One of the greatest skills in life is the ability to recognise when you are doing too much, and have the bottle/nerve to say "No". If you genuinely don't enjoy sight reading for certain instruments, say politely but firmly that it's not appropriate.

Don't burn yourself out!