We used leeches in the 1980s when I was a junior doc. They were named after the consultants...

They still have a use in the preservation of skin flaps which are made by surgeons to cover damaged areas, and are amazingly effective, though still really not in the cute range.

Oh, and:

A povre widwe, somdeel stape in age
was whilom dwellinge in a narwe cotage
in a grove stondinge in a dale.
This widwe, of whom I telle you my tale
sin thilke day when she was last a wyf
in patiaunce ladde a ful simple lyf
for litel was hir catel and hir rente
By wisdom swich as god hir sente
she foonde hirself and eke hir doughtren two.

Apologies for the spelling and any errors, but that was from memory...

so what was that about the state of the NHS?

A povre widwe, somdeel stape in age
was whilom dwellinge in a narwe cotage
in a grove stondinge in a dale.
This widwe, of whom I telle you my tale
sin thilke day when she was last a wyf
in patiaunce ladde a ful simple lyf
for litel was hir catel and hir rente
By wisdom swich as god hir sente
she foonde hirself and eke hir doughtren two.

Apologies for the spelling and any errors, but that was from memory...

A school I teach a couple of pupils at (independent) has just decided, after some years, and in the face of an impending inspection, that I need to present all my qualification certificates to them and fill in a medical questionnaire. I have never before had to show my certificates to anyone, but have managed to find them. The medical questionnaire is detailed - "Have you ever experienced dissatisfaction at work?" (can anyone say no?); "Have you ever experienced any increased irritability?" (answer, yes, having to answer all these questions!

The bit I don't like, though, is the "lifestyle" bit. I have to tell them how much I drink and smoke per week, and also what exercise I take. I don't think, as long as I carry out my teaching duties properly, that it's any of their business. Can I refuse to answer this bit?

[I decided not to fill in the Medical Questionnaire, just the outline questions which, as far as I am concerned, cover everything. I didn't answer the questions on my drinking and smoking habits.

I handed the questionnaire in with a covering letter explaining why I wasn't completing it fully, mentioning that I had taken advice from my union (MU) and it seems to have been accepted.