Did you choose for your child to learn an instrument or did you wait until the child chose for themselves? What was your reason for choosing to learn an instrument (creativity, an opportunity that you sorely regret not having for yourself as a child, becuase it feeds into other curriculum areas, discipline of independent learning, something else?). Why did you pick the particular instrument? Is it one you play or would like to have played? Something nice and quiet for those early years of sounding like sandpaper to the nerves? Or did your child see one and say hey, I gotta learn one of those?

I have a daughter and I got her a violin, principally because small violins are inexpensive. She continues to hold it like a cello and resist any attempt to put it on her shoulder, so I am torn between giving it a while and just taking her to the cello shop to see if she's any more fond of playing the cello "properly" or if she just resents doing what she's asked to do with the instrument rather than being creative to her own will. (She's 3 BTW, so she doesn't have formal lessons or anything, it's all about making friends with an instrument and not thinking of it as something scary and difficult reserved for the talented.

What made you decide your child should have music lessons, and why that instrument?

My daughter plays the violin. She started just before her 7th birthday because they had a demonstration at school. She came home and said she wanted to start learning. I said "no" because she had already tried the piano briefly (my choice) and wasn't keen on it. She pestered and pestered me and then when the school offered 3 trial lessons with no commitment I said she could have a go. The teacher has told me since that she knew from the first lesson that she was going to be good.

I am so glad that my daughter persisted and the school offered the trial otherwise we would have missed her talent. And the violin is definitely her instrument - she is not a natural pianist or wind player (we have been told by her inability to progress on the recorder!)

My eldest daughter plays the cello and the trombone. She started the cello when she was just over six and a half. Just before her sixth birthday, her class had gone to see a play which had a cellist accompanying. My daughter came home saying there had been a beautiful instrument but she didn't know what it was. The next day the cellist came into their classroom with her cello, played to the children and talked to them about the cello. My daughter came home saying the beautiful instrument was a cello, the lady playing it had started when she was six, she was nearly six and wanted to learn. When she was still saying six months later she wanted to learn, I enroled her for lessons.

When she had been learning the cello for just over a year, the trombone, oboe and French horn teachers came into her music theory lesson, gave a demonstration and let the children try. She came out of that saying she wanted to learn the trombone. Since she had only just started the cello, I said she should wait a bit. She didn't mention it again until about eighteen months later when she suddenly asked if I now thought she had waited long enough and could she please start the trombone as well as the cello. I was still hesitant about two instruments but she kept insisting so I let her start when she about nine and a half.

My younger daughter was desparate to play something because her sister did and I did. She had an abortive attempt at the violin when she was almost five (I realised after two lessons that the teacher didn't like young children). The violin was my idea because you can get small ones and I didn't want her playing the same instrument as her sister. She started the piano when she was almost seven - she had been asking for over a year. She has always liked messing around on the piano but until then I hadn't felt she was ready for formal lessons.

She has just started the oboe (at nine and three quarters). She has always liked the idea of a wind instrument but was physically too small. Her first love (at the age of about six) was a bass clarinet. She refused to believe that a small bass clarinet was an ordinary clarinet - since her sister had had small size cellos she didn't see why she couldn't have a small size bass clarinet complete with spike . Then she thought she would like to try the flute but was too small (and the music school doesn't use curved head joints). Last year she heard a boy play the oboe and a girl play the flute in her theory class. She decided beginner flautists sound awful, loved the sound of the beginner oboist (having always told me she didn't like my oboe ) and pestered me into asking my teacher to give her a trial lesson.

I enrolled my child with piano lessons at six and a half, as I had not been able to start myself until I was eleven, after years of really wanting to play; I very much wanted him to have the opportunity whilst he was learning things so quickly. However, after doing well with grade one at age 8, he rather lost interest. I still feel years later that he benefited from that short period of tuition, even though he hasn't wanted to take it up formally again.
N

A bit of both. We knew that our elder son was musical, so when he had the opportunity to take keyboard lessons through school at age 7, we offered it to him and he was keen to give it a go.

He took to it like the proverbial duck to water, so the following year we agreed he could learn another instrument as well. When the peri teacher came in to school to demonstrate the brass/wind instruments for which tuition was provided, he tried them all and (having managed to get 5 recognisable notes out of it at a first attempt) went for trumpet. (Note - I did slightly try to dissuade him from opting for Eb (tenor) horn, on the basis that a trumpet is more flexible - ie it is equally suitable for orchestral, brass band and jazz, whereas tenor horn is more limiting.)

Having then "outgrown" keyboard, we moved him on to piano at the start of last school year, which he has also taken to really well (Grade 4 exam next Tuesday!). So I suppose the initial impetus to learn an instrument came from us, but we have mostly let him choose what he feels comfortable with playing.

Our younger son is less musical by nature, but I rather fear that seeing his older brother doing so much music has given him a fixed idea that he "has" to do music as well (ie 'anything you can do I can do better' - or at least I'll argue that I do it better.... ). He has just started with keyboard as well, mostly at his own insistence. I think it's a bit soon to know what he might do well with, but if he persists with the keyboard then I think we're going to have to let him have the option of doing another instrument as well (otherwise we'll be accused of favouritism!!) As long as he doesn't choose drums

I organised piano lessons for mine when they were five because I wanted them to have the opportunity. Jamie at the same age wanted to play the trumpet and when we saw the Driglington Brass Band playing we talked to them and they offered to teach him the cornet.
Beth started learning a brass instrument at 5 because her brother was but then dropped it and at 8 begged for either a flute or a clarinet. While we were on our boat on holiday we heard both instruments played and she opted for the flute. By the time she was 9 she was desperate for a sax. It was mentioned every day even though she'd never touched one or heard it live. We rearranged our mortgage when she was 10, nearly 11. By then she was thriving at a Junior Conservatoire and I thought I should probably go with the flow so I bought her quite a good sax. I thought she'd fiddle around with it for a bit and then it would get put away and she could try it later.
Boy was I wrong. In the shop where she was trying the sax she got half way through the Abracadabra book and by the time we'd had it a week she sounded amazing. I realised that I had to organise lessons before she got into too many bad habits and 20 weeks after buying it she got a distinction at Grade 3. In June last year I was offered a clarinet which I bought and she is also learning the clarinet now.
My son has always wanted to play the violin but I couldn't see how he was going to manage 3 instruments. Eventually I gave in and I was right, he couldn't manage three instruments!!!. Anyone want a 3/4 violin?
He is now 13 and decided to switch to the trombone in the spring after passing his Grade 5 cornet. He is now enjoying the trombone.
They both still play the piano and are both doing Grade 4 in December.
Beth would like me to get her: a piccolo, a soprano sax and most of all a harp.
If she gets the chance she can pick out a tune on the violin and is keen to try a cello.
I'd like to think this was going to get less expensive but I guess summer schools and masterclasses will prevent that soon enough.
Dora

Emsoboe signed up to Recorder lessons in year 3 at Primary school. She was much more interested than her sister and drove us mad playing it around the house. Typical of school Recorder gorups they didn't make much progress going backwards to the start of the book with each change of teacher (they had 5 in 4 years). The 4th teacher suggested she start Oboe as the lessons were free and instruments available to loan. I didn't know what an Oboe was By this time she was nearly 10 and had been asking for a F;ute for nearly a year.

She started Oboe and loved it. Found that she could progress Recorder on the back of the Oboe lessons. She shared a lesson and in an attempt to slow her progress down we bought her the desired Flute.

She kept sneeking her sisters Sax and then Clarinet(hasn't yet conqured it) and managed to scrounge a piano from her old Primary school.

I've never had the desire for her to learn an instrument but I've never stopped her. I've always tried to support her and have perhaps allowed her too many opportunities. The Music Seriice have always been supportive and great at using her talents. I thought she would be forced to make some decisions by RNCM when she started in September. I don't get the impression they are thinking along these lines either. They seem to be looking at how to use her skills too.

At the stage she's at now there's no point in giving anything up until she's secured Grade 8 even though it's quite difficult to keep all the practice going.

Some friends of ours have a daughter who was like this when she was small. Mum and elder sister played violin and she borrowed these to play cello-style. In their case, they did buy her a tiny cello, and she ended up at the Menuhin School at age 7 (or maybe 8) and after several years there is now at the Purcell School.. So, you never know.. My sneaking suspicion is that this child was rather unusual, however!

Beth is not managing all the practice. She practices the piano and flute every day, we are up to an hour for the flute. We then add in what we can. Sax gets played a lot in groups but only gets practices 2 or 3 times a week. Clarinet even less. Beth is doing her Grade 2 Singing in December and trying to fit that in as well is a real challenge.
This year I have backed right off of everything except the flute and the piano.
My guess is that she will get to Grade 8 on the sax, and eventually the clarinet and probably the piano and drop them leaving the flute.
But who knows what will actually happen. Interestingly she is refusing to have anything to do with an Oboe.
I am getting much better at planning exams so it is Grade 2 Singing and Grade 4 Piano this term. Grade 6 Sax next term and Grade 7 Flute in the summer.
One interesting unknown is that her much loved piano teacher is taking two terms off starting in January for maternity leave. Beth will have a new teacher.
I don't know what this will mean to her exam progress with the piano. I'm not worrying about it. She has just got from Grade 3 to Grade 4 in two terms and I think she might do that again. Time will tell.
Dora

My husbands family are mostly string players so it wasn't surprising when our elder son from quite a young age demanded a cello. At 4 1/2 we gave in and he had occasional lessons. He wanted to play but wasn't really ready for lessons. We kept going and by 7 he was ready for a more regular teaching. He's now 15 and is a really good cellist (diploma standard although he hasn't taken the exam) and practises 2 -3 hours a day. He says he can't imagine life without his cello. He does play piano but cello is his real love.

Along came his little brother who was given a little violin. He went to a wonderful teacher who's teaching was heavily influenced by Kodaly and Dalcroze. He kept begging for a viola and just over two years ago we bought him one from Liz at Elida trading. He loves his viola and now has the use of one of Helen Michetschlager's little viola. He's another reluctant pianist but as it's felt useful he's keeping it going for the time being.

Now they would probably have been encouraged to take up an instrument anyway but for enjoyment sake not because it was thought good for them or would help them educationally.

As I was a piano tacher I started both my sons on piano as soon as they were interested, (about 5 or 6). The oldest was desparate to play sax but was too small so he began on clarinet and moved to sax at 9. He is now at conservatoire and plays alto tenor and soprano. He kept up piano till grade 5 and also plays guitar to a high standard and sings. My younger son never took to piano but decided to try clarinet which he has kept up to grade 8, but his real passion is drums, (noisy, but fun) Piano was a good starting point for bass clef and harmony etc but they have both chosen for themselves their favourite instrument, and neither would be without them now. As a parent I have never forced them to do anything, but just encouraged them once their interest became clear,( and of course made the necessary commitments of time and finance!).

Eldest daughter asked to learn piano at age 6, so I left it for a few months until she was 7 then organised lessons and a piano(!) once I knew she was serious. She now learns guitar at school too, (her choice).

I asked her the other day what made her decide to learn the piano and she said whilst we were on holiday she heard a pianist play whilst we ate a meal in one of the restaurants and thought it sounded beautiful, which I thought was sweet.

Youngest, has also started piano, age 5 but more as a follow on from her sister. We did ask her but it was our suggestion in the first place.

I started at the same time too.

I'm afraid some of my student's parents would reply...

So that they appear much cleverer than other children. I like to be able to boast about them. I don't actually encourage them to practise though, makes a terrible noise you know! And actually it costs quite a lot so I never pay the teacher on time.

This is increasingly a problem in our house too! My daughter plays a mixture of instruments. Some were mostly my idea, others mostly hers, but there are always good reasons not to give up one in favour of another.. With hindsight, I should have waited and been guided by her as to what she wanted to make a start at learning. That way, she would have less practice to fit in now, perhaps.

On the other hand, she currently learns: cello (grade 6 coming up); singing (grade 6 next term maybe); recorder (grade 6 done); clarinet (grade 6 done); piano (grade 2 done, working for 4); and sax (for fun - ie no exams). We had the beginnings of a conversation at breakfast this morning. We have the same conversation from time to time, about how this is all too much and she doesn't have time to make herself really good on the instrument she would like to be really good at (clarinet). She doesn't want a career in music, and has lots of schoolwork to fit in, and a social life with non-musical friends. Daughter's reaction:
"If I give up everything other than clarinet and saxophone can I learn French horn?" Aaah, that was not what I had in mind at all! She still moans from time to time that I won't let her take up bassoon - so I think we were always going to be in this boat.....

Son decided . . . older cooler cousins played same instruments. He practically stalked the teacher (he was 7 at the time) until the teacher had a free slot in school. Cousins have long since given up and he still plays, planning to study it at uni/conservatoire next year. Both of us non musicians but could see the benefits to him of the discipline required.
Asked him recently if he ever wished he was playing a different instrument . . his answer was a resounding no!

RoseRodent can I ask if you had any expectations on starting this thread? Do we meet them ?

It's interesting that quite a lot of the Parents on here have children who either initially or ultimately decided for themselves.

Halka I think our girls are from the same Pod

At the moment mine has a head full of how many studies you are allowed at Juniors. She's gone with 4 instruments today(Oboe, Cor, Alto and Tenor Sax). She likes the idea of moving Flute lessons there (don't want to have to explain this to the Music Service), wants to play in the Recorder Group (encouraged by her teacher and the knowledge they need a Bass) and thinks that Composition as a study would be good. I just need someone to pay the bill I've been warned gently about next year.

Playing isn't an issue but there has become so little time to practice. This is the last Sunday for one of her Orchestras for a while and that won't be a bad thing. Think I'm going to have to insist that one or more of the midweek activities goes as we agreed. One of them went but she was pressed to rejoin.

i dont have children, so from that point i cannot comment, but i remember being a child and the reasons i wanted to play, however i chose weather to play and what instruments i wanted to play. without any incouragement or discouragement from my mother. my mother jst hung on for the ride and put up with endless squeelooookling ...

the first instrument i played was in school. i cant remeber if it was primary or secondary school but it was a recorder, and i volunteered for classes when it was suggested in school cos it just seemed like so much fun. i couldnt comment on how good i was, how much i practised (but i know i did a few school performances) or how my mother handled it as i cant remember...(funnily enough though i spoke to my mum abut this the other day..she remembers me with my little recorder bag she says i was always soo proud carrying it about). and i did feel proud i was so pleased, not just that i could play but i could do something that some of the other kids couldnt perhaps not the best reasons but i remember feeling this way.

after the recorder i moved to the Clarinet,(still in middle school) again the option was presented to us at school and i jumped at it... partly cos i got out of normal class to go and have fun . also i remeber wanting to play the flute not the Clarinet but flute class was full so i was put in clarinet class.( i didnt mind though i loved my clarinet adn still do) but i still want to play the flute it has such a beautiful pure sound. i know i was graded in clarinet but i cant remember what grade i acheived possibly 4-5. i gave up in the end when i couldnt afford my own instrument and had to return the one i borrowed and was using.

the third instrument i tried was the guitar which shamefaced i only learnt to try and get in with the boys and the cool crowd at senior school ( well one boy in particular ) but anyway that didnt last long as guitar just want my thing i really wasnt interested and was doing it for all the wrong reasons. and i dint play for more than 6 months.

now 16-17 years later i am back to the CLarinet

Um, yeah, to find out what different reasons people had for their child learning an instrument. I know this wouldn't be the most representative sample if I were doing some kind of research, because this is a group of people drawn together by enough interest in their child's music to post on a related forum. For each that comes into that category there are many more who get a letter offering music lessons and say "yeah why not" and have little else to do with it, and many out there who push children to the piano because "a lady should play the piano" - yes, I do still hear that in the new milennium!

I feel it's important that I do what I can to put opportunities my daughter's way, and in that sense I do leave what instruments I can available to her, but I also feel it's pointless to try to push an instrument on a child who is disinterested as they will get away from it as much as they can. I remember even at university having a burning desire to be able to play the piano, but not if it meant having piano lessons!

I had a rather interesting introduction to the violin because I was much deafer at school than I am now, though still "moderately deaf" according to the NHS classifications. So I desperately wanted to play the violin but kept missing the announcements in assembly that people should go and try out for it, only finding out from people who went and told me about their experiences. Eventually in late primary school they did a Bentley music aptitude test on everyone in year 5 (as it is now) and those with scores over a certain number got offered woodwind lessons, the next batch up were offered brass and the top scorers offered strings, on the misguided assumption that string players needed to know the most about intonation. They arbitrarily split the top scorers alphabet A-J to cello and alphabet K-Z onto violin.

So I eventually got to play the violin in the end! But how many children would have picked their allocated instrument if they were offered whatever they fancied? When I discovered the viola I knew that was what I really wanted. I nagged my mum and she said no. I think she was put off by my reasoning - I want to form a string quartet at school and nobody plays the viola and I am the only person prepared to learn a new clef. But I eventually got a viola and rocketed from grade 4 to grade 7 in a year and never looked back. I will always remember arriving for my first violin lesson and the teacher looking at me and saying "hmmm, should have brought you a viola" so I believe a match between child and instrument is critical to progress.

But I don't honestly know if I would have had the interest at all had I not had a recorder left in my playroom by my mum, had classical music on at the dinner table and in the car. It's partially organic, but if a child never sees and hears a cello/viola/saxophone/tubular bells(!) how can he realise he wants one? So I am looking on the one hand to give my daughter exposure to possibilities and on the other to let her find her own way. I can't honestly think what I will do if she says she doesn't want to learn any instrument at all though, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it! I dread that she will take up an interest that bores me, but will have to grit my teeth and take her to chess matches if that's the path she chooses.

I was really lucky as a child. I showed an aptitude for recorder which meant that I was allowed to play clarinet. Playing clarinet in the borough wind band I became aware of saxophones, but pretty much knew it was going to have to wait until I could finance it myself. I can't see any way my parents would have been able, even if they were willing, to finance multiple instruments. I'm in awe of all of those of you who manage to support 2, 3 or 4 per child.

Elder daughter chose the cello when she was about 10, having played 2 different recorders to about Grade 4 standard. Middle daughter tinkered for a few years with the piano, but music was never really her thing.. She just really liked the lovely teacher I had honestly planned to start my youngest on the cello eventually, probably at about 6 or 7, as the teacher was wonderful, but she had other ideas! When she was about 3 or 4 I had to take her along to informal concerts at her older sister's school, where she was fascinated by the violins! I would have to drag her away from them. This persisted until I found her a teacher and her own very small violin. She has never looked back really. She also plays the piano, but violin is her first and real love. Elder daughter has recently started playing her cello again, having not had time since she left school. Middle daughter is heavily into music(sister) appreciation!! LOL.
Violinma

I identify with this. I didn't decide I wanted to learn an instrument until I was 17, when I became desperate to learn the flute. My parents thought a flute was far too expensive, and I only got one because absolutely anyone who wanted to give me an 18th birthday present contributed to my flute fund. I've probably not done my daughter any favours by financing so much music as she's not had to think about what she really cares about in her own music making, or even about how much she cares about music at all.... She's not generally spoilt, but musically? Yes, probably so.

There are lots of musical groups for young children around now. My son went to Kindermusik classes at the local music centre for a couple of years from age 3 or 4. It was a great introduction to music through singing and percussion, and in the last term they heard some musical instruments played and were offered the chance to move on to either violin or recorder lessons, depending on which instrument took their fancy. (Actually, my son was advised not to do violin as he was so clumsy!!)

I'm sure that if you continue to give your child opportunities to take part in some sort of music and to listen to different instruments, she will decide for herself what she wants to play.

My eldest daughter started playing violin due to an opportunity through school to have 1 full term of free lessons on either violin, viola or cello. She had tried recorder and found it difficult, but we gave her the opportunity to play a string instrument as we had nothing to lose. I was also aware of the opinion that learning an instrument was supposed to be beneficial in aiding a childs development and learning potential across the curriculum, and to be honest, this was more appealing to myself as I was more than aware that she was not a natural musician. At the time she was also having a little extra help through school for reading and was a little below average across the curriculum.

She started at the age of 7 and had lessons until she was 16; getting to about grade 6 level. She stopped because of the lack of playing opportunities at school etc. and because of the work load of A levels. Also because she had simply got to a level where she was happy and did not want to push herself further. On the learning side though, it certainly did not do her harm as she is not naturally bright although does work hard and achieved 5 As, 3 A*s and 3 Bs at GCSE - 1 A* being in English which was below average when she started playing. Although she no longer picks up her violin regularly, she does play piano (self taught) about 3 or 4 times a day inbetween bouts of studying and uses music as more of a pastime to unwind which is great.

Her sister followed in her footsteps also taking up violin aged 7 through school. She was a different story though as she was identified as being musically gifted. She is now 14 playing at approx grade 8 on violin and grade 7 on piano after only 4 years, gaining good distinctions in exams for both instruments (grade 7 violin 138) She is a brighter child naturally though, attending a selective grammar school and so its hard to say as to whether learning a musical instrument has aided in her learning, although it certainly has done her no harm.

I don't believe in thrusting an instrument upon a child especially at an early age, nor as soon as they get a little bored with it after a few months swapping it for something else. If they show an interest and have some maturity to understand about having to practice regularly etc. then even it they prove not to be too good at it, as long as they are enjoying it thats what matters. I do also think it helps with learning skills, as well as social development.

Once you have found the needle in the haystack that is the process of looking for them, then found the money to pay for them a term in advance when you are only allowed one session to decide if your child would like to commit to a full term and you are trying to pay the money out of less per week than state benefits, I agree, there are lots of groups for young children. If your child is reliant on whatever comes to them free of charge, or is a present from a relative who is very picky about what they will send (they'll send a flute but not money, for example) you have to work that wee bit harder.

Sorry, RoseRodent; I hadn't realised quite how tight things are for you. Unless prospects brighten, perhaps your best bet is to let your child watch you play, and see whether she fancies playing something you could teach her yourself. And if you often play radio 3 or Classic FM she will hear different instruments as she grows.

This is precisely the reason I started my musical career in a brass band. No way could my parents have afforded private tuition or an instrument at the time so when my mum saw an advert to learn with a brass band she asked if I would like to do that (free loan of instrument, free tuition and uniform). Over the years they then got me a second hand keyboard and I had music lessons in secondary school. I only bought my own cornet and trumpet when I was earning my own money. I'm not sure where you are as to if this is possible but may be worth a thought.

It just never occured to me that my children wouldnt do music as i came from an amatuer music background. My mother played the violin in her school orchestra, my dad took us regularly to the proms (my younger brother being allowed to take his Beano to pass the time!) My grandmother was an amazing pianist whose mother would not allow her to become professional. I played the piano badly, and sang in the school and church choirs. Husband is the only music one in his family and plays brass instruments.

I did not expect them to take up music professionally but to learn an instrument and be part of the school orchestras, choirs and then to be part of the audiences of the future. I taught all four children the fundamentals of the recorder primarily as a means of learning music notation.

Eldest started piano at 8 but wasnt really that interested. Started flute at secondary school, her choice. Played in senior orchestra, borough orchestra, reached G8. Member of school choir and went on several music tours to Europe. Took up singing seriously at 16 went to a junior conservatoire with almost total fee award. Then undergrad at conservatoire. Now a professional opera singer in Europe.

No 2 a very good treble recorder player, chose the cello at seondary school. Unfortunately did not get on with her cello teacher and make slow progress. Should have moved her but there was only one peri cello teacher so she stayed with him for five years. Took GCSE and A leve music getting B at both levels. Also sang in choir. Left school returned the school cello, never played again but very keen regular concert attendee.

Son got a music scholarship to secondary school on trumpet, that he had started at 8. Played in Orchestra, Concert and Jazz band in school and the borough. Several tours to Europe. Free trumpet and piano lessons at school as a music scholar Played a little at Uni but less and less now. Uses music knowledge to impress girlfriends i.e. buying tickets to concerts at wigmore hall.

Youngest chose violin from 6 then switched to viola at secondary school. Also played treble recorder, clarinet, alto sax and piano. Free viola lessons at school as it is a shortage instrument and plays loaned viola from Benslow. Main instrument is Alto sax, now G8 distinction and currently auditioning for conservatoires to study Jazz performance. Has received several awards for funding so hasnt really cost us as much as it looks.

Music making for us also meant being part of orchestras and ensembles, we did not consider it a solitary enterprise. It was meant to be a pleasnt activity with team work and a skill for life. When the children and their father get together and argue, laugh and jocky for the invisible "first chair" at home, before they actually play a piece - half way through - they never get to the end - it is so much fun to watch them share. Special moments e.g.when my mother, their grandmother adds "try that in second position" or similiar and they look at her in amazement that she knows what she is talking about,, when my dad dicusses a particular aria with my eldest and gets his vinyl verysion out and they have their heads together in deep converstation about the arias merits it was worth it again and again.

The Music (along with food) ties us all together just as much as our genes.

Wow, Ayshah, what a lovely post and a perfect illustration of what music can mean to us - whether we're destined for the stage or the audience.

Our eldest started playing the piano when he was about three years old, and quickly learnt how to play chords (and discords ) to his own liking. From the outset there was a clear structure to his music, and quite a few people commented that they had heard much worse on Radio 3!

Sadly though, he never settled to formal piano lessons, but continued to enjoy improvising and learning to play by ear; and whilst he could barely sight read he was able to play some quite advanced pieces with reasonable accuracy entirely from memory.

Then, around two years ago, he had a chance opportunity to play a modest pipe organ, and has been hooked from that point forward. He then wanted lessons, and he wanted to be able to play the music that he loved listening to on CD. He also wants to be able to play great cathedral organs one day, and nothing will put him off.

This has meant a great deal of hard work, and practicing for long periods in sometimes very cold and dark churches; but it has become a real passion for him. He is also passionate about choral music, and I know would love to be able to develop that too.

I suspect that grade wise, he is slightly handicapped by his late (?) start, (most youngsters seem to achieve G8 by their fifteenth birthdays ), but that hasn’t put him off yet, and we are often treated to a chorale or two on the piano before breakfast!

Meanwhile, our youngest is learning to play Cornet through the school music service, and she loves playing in the area schools band. She achieved a Grade 2 distinction last year, aged 10, and is due to take G4 thisyear. However, unlike her brother, she cannot play a single note unless it is printed on a page in front of her.

We have been very pleased with the brass tuition that our daughter has received through the school, but feel it is a pity that the same tuition is not available for keyboard instruments.

However, I do think it is sometimes a matter of luck, (or perhaps trial and error) finding an instrument that suits one’s children, as they are not always inspired by the same things that we are.

SB

Both of my older boys chose what they waned to play having been to a musicale week and seen other older children playing lots of different instruments.

The eldest decided at age 6 that he wanted to play the clarinet, which he has done, and now, age 8 is just starting on grade 4 pieces. He does learn the piano too - grade 2, but that is very much at my behest and whilst he likes being able to play, i don't think he really gets quite the same pleasure from it. he is more of a social animal.

Number two son came back from the same week (age 5) wanting to play the tuba. We waited and waited and finally on the advice of a teacher-friend got him a euphonium on his 6th birthday as a 'mini tuba'. Now age 7 he is doing really well and loves it soooo much he hardly takes it out of his mouth some weeks. He also gets incredibly frustrated with it too, because he seems to have in his mind exactly how it shoud be played. No idea where that comes from. I know nothing at all about brass. He still wants to play the tuba though...

I always assumed they would do music though, and i think i did try to encourage early on because I could see that unless it became part of the rhythm of the week the slots would get filled with football training and swimming club, and there would be no room left to start music without having to drop a favoured activity.

I sometimes wonder whether children choose instruments to suit their character, for the sound they make, for the social contact (or lack of it), or simply because they enjoy playing them?

Our eldest is very shy, and a bit of a loner, and only seems to feel comfortable socialising with other people (mainly adults) with similar music interests. (He is also into trains, but that seems to be an 'organist thing' .)

He enjoys playing the piano, but doesn't much like doing it publicly because others can see him. But hidden away in security of the organ loft he is happy as Larry.

Our youngest is also very shy, but much more sociable. She can play the piano, but I think she feels very exposed playing a solo instrument. For her playing in a brass band is great, as she is playing with others, and enjoys their company.

Our daughter's teacher has said she would like her to play a solo part in the next band concert, so it remains to be seen whether she will feel confident enough to do it.

SB

Both of mine started on the recorder as a compulsory instrument for school. They both still play- the youngest for fun as it's not played at his new school - the eldest plays in the school recorder group.

They both then started instruments in year 3 - because they wanted to. The eldest plays in the school orchestra, but no longer has lessons - because he doesn't enjoy them.

The youngest plays in 3 school orchestras and an external orchestra on his main instrument and asked to pick up a second instrument at the start of this term and is working towards his G4 - because he wants to. His peri at school for the second instrument asked him what he wanted to do: classical or jazz, for fun or take grades - and he chose taking grades - so its all driven by him.

Which is the way it should be IMHO - however early morning practice on the sax is not conducive to good neighbourly relations!!!