After nearly 3 years, I'm thinking of asking two of my students to find another teacher because I don't want to teach them theory. I started off by teaching them piano and gradually theory, and now it's come to a point where I only teach them theory mainly so they can get a certificate for their other instrument exams. The parents aren't keen for them to pursue piano in the same way as their other instruments. I'd much rather teach piano than theory and also feel my skills as a pianist is completely wasted. I'm not the best person when it comes to explaining theory, and have been stumped by a few questions thrown in my direction. In the past I did manage to get 2 students through grade 5 theory exam with reasonable results, but didn't enjoy it.

The mother is very busy and I was thinking of emailing her first. Is this too impersonal? Should I ring her and discuss? My hubby was shocked I was going to end it all with email although I mentioned I'd still like to teach her other child who learns piano from me and if he continues with me I'm likely to see the mother anyway. I was going to mention this is from next year so they bit of time to think about it.

We all know students who end lessons by not turning up, cancelling at the last minute, no contact etc, but what would be a reasonable way for a teacher to let go of long-standing students? They have been with me for a reasonably long time and for the most part I have been their main educator in music. Please give me some good suggestions.

[quote name='Beagle' date='Nov 17 2009, 10:21 PM' post='896118']
After nearly 3 years, I'm thinking of asking two of my students to find another teacher because I don't want to teach them theory. ...
. I'd much rather teach piano than theory and also feel my skills as a pianist is completely wasted. I'm not the best person when it comes to explaining theory, and have been stumped by a few questions thrown in my direction. ...
I'd still like to teach her other child who learns piano from me and if he continues with me I'm likely to see the mother anyway. I was going to mention this is from next year so they bit of time to think about it.



You should speak face to face or at least voice to voice. Particularly if you still intend to teach the other child. I would have thought the parent would respect your honesty about not being comfortable with theory lessons. It is surely commendable that you would be suggesting that the students find a better suited theory teacher, after all your strength is as a piano teacher.

I think you should speak to the person concerned. As we've seen on the forums many times, the typed word can seem to come out wrong because you can't hear the tone of voice.

Speaking as a parent I would feel shocked and not a little hurt if any of my daughter's long standing teachers ended our relationship by email. However, if they explained their reasons in person and in the same terms as you have done here I would be understanding. And if I was, inevitably, a little cross at having to find a new theory teacher I'd try not to let it show!!

If you hope to continue teaching a third child from the same family, then you really must speak to the parents, preferably face-to-face, and have an honest discussion with them. Having done this, you will not then end up in the same situation with the other child. As a parent, I would be pretty annoyed to be told something like this by email, when you have presumably been seeing them on a weekly basis.

All seem to agree that face to face is the best option, and the meeting could be "softened" if you are able to give a recommendation or two as to where they could continue their theory studies.

Hi Noodle,

One of the Orchestra's run by our local music authority runs a Saturday morning orchestra that includes choir and a theory class, it might be worth checking out if there is something similar near you, it would be good to go to her with an alternative suggestion.

And for what it's worth, I think the phone is a better option for you in this case than email.

Face to face is best. Phone is next best or possibly a nice hand-written letter - though getting the wording right wouold not be easy. eMail lagging well behind, and could easily be interpreted as an insult. About the only thing worse would be SMS.

Although I'm using emails more and more often nowadays for contacting parents - it's invaluable for those parents I hardly ever see and is especially useful in the lead up to exams - I do feel that in this sort of situation, it would seem a bit cold and impersonal. I think you have to speak to the parents in person and explain how you feel. I'm sure they will appreciate it. Good luck!

Yes, I think that's why I've stuck to this arrangement for so long. However I get lot of students inquiring about wanting to learn piano and can't help but feel I'm doing my prospective students a disservice by still teaching these two students and therefore taking up my valuable slots. It doesn't help their schedules change a lot and I will actually give them only 2 lessons this month due to their other commitments. Last month I managed to give one of the girls just one lesson as our availability just didn't match up.

It's a shame though, because I like the girls and have watched them grow up. One of them is very keen to learn piano for its own sake and prefers it to her other instrument but the parents won't allow it. Rather than fighting to give piano an equal footing, I think it's best to move on.

Thanks for all the suggestions, it seems email isn't the best way and hubby was right after all! I can only hope the mother will still let me teach her other child who is actually doing really well.

It is a shame that you have come to the point that a parting of the ways is inevitable, and you are very wise to try to keep teaching the youngster who likes the piano. But if your heart is not in it . . . just make sure you stay on good terms with the family if at all possible, it makes sense for your teaching practice.

Scene One: When my daughter failed her piano G4, she was sacked by her teacher. It was done by handwritten letter and really upset me. I wished that she had phoned me earlier to let me know that things werent going well. In fact I was furious at her implication that my daughter was not interested and the word she used was "unmusical".

Turned out that my daughter didnt like her and had given her a lot of "attitude" so their parting of the ways was a good idea.

Within a couple of weeks I had forgotten about it and had moved on. I instructed my eldest daughter, abt G4 herself on piano, to prepare her younger sister for the re-sit and she passed with a distinction.

Scene two: Jazz piano teacher, my daughter announced to her piano teacher that she wasnt coming back at her last lesson, no she hadnt told me either! I was totally embarassed and emailed her teacher with an apology and sent a small gift. Her teacher when not teaching would be out performing so she preferred to communicate via email.

I would also advocate a phone call, being honest and let her know that you are a piano teacher not a theory teacher. If I was told that I would be satisfied with your explanation.

I think it all comes down to what you know about the people concerned, how often you see them, how they choose to contact you, etc. If you see them each week then to get an email would seem like you were avoiding the conversation. For myself personally there is virtually no reason on this earth for which I would like to receive a telephone call. My husband put in a phone and I said he can if he wants but it's 100% his responsibility and I never, ever touch it, answer it, anything. It stays off all day. OK, I am very unusual, but at least people who know me know not to try to phone me! If you know these people then go with what you know about them. If they do all of their contact with you by email I don't think it's unreasonable to email them back. If they phone you, you phone them. If you see them in person then I don't think either approach is that nice, it's like you don't want to look them in the eye with bad news.

Why don't you just explain to the parent that you're happy to teach piano but now the student has reached a certain level with her playing, she's going to need a bit of extra tuition for her theory? If you have a good rapport with the parent, you can explain that piano teaching and playing are the things you like to focus on, and it's best she see someone else to specialise in theory. You don't need to openly say that you're not 100% au fait with the theory, but you do owe it to the parent to be honest. Also, the parent and student both need to know that the theory can be quite time-consuming, and that to fit it into the piano lesson will naturally mean less time spent playing piano.

Defintely DON'T email about anything important! Face to face is best.

I spoke to the parent. She took it surprisingly well, and still wants me to teach her son. We spoke on the phone since she's very busy and not likely to be around after lessons. She may have been annoyed but she disguised it well. I think she could also see that I'm a piano teacher not a theory teacher and it makes sense for the girls to go to another teacher. Thanks for all your replies!