That's about it, really.
I will own up to hating: May God's Blessing (surround you each day); Majesty; I'm Special (because God has loved me)

That's off the top of my head. There are many others.

Post your worst nightmares here. You'll feel better for it, really.

Meekness and Majesty. Makes me feel ill.

God of concrete, God of Steel

My top 3, off the top of my head:

1. God Made A Boomerang (And Called It Love)... 3rd verse contains the doublet:

Love's like a boomerang, goes with a swing
Now everybody can have a good fling

(Try singing that with a straight face! )


2. Peace, Perfect Peace (Is the Gift of Christ our Lord). Both tune and lyrics are just SOOOOO boring and uninspired/ing. By verse 5 I'm usually considering suicide.


3. Shine, Jesus, Shine. Just a pet hate - especially repeating the refrain twice to end it with. Never works!

"Shine, Jesus, Shine. Just a pet hate "

Not to mention the nasty, horrid and ineffective consecutive octaves in the middle! Those chords always make me squirm. And everyone takes it far faster than the composer's marking anyway.

Barry Williams

Ha Ha we have May Gods Blessing every service after the Benediction !
I don't like Hymns which portray the Christian message as a battle. Ones like Onward Christian Soldiers and Stand up Stand up for Jesus. There are others, but fortunately they are going out of fashion

I must say I hate playing 'Shine Jesus Shine' on the organ. It wears my left foot out repeating that bottom D.

Oh dear, I started with good intentions, but now find myself liking some of the other offerings. I really like Onward Christian Soldiers, And can it be, and Stand up, Stand up for Jesus.

However, I would like to add to Room 101:

-One more step along the world I go
and
-I the Lord of see and sky

I quite like "And Can it Be"....

Nobody has mentioned "If I were a butterfly". We were all horrified upon arrival one Sunday to find that it was a 'walking down the aisle' recessional hymn. We think it must have been a mistake, but nobody was admitting to it. The syncopation in it just isn't right. It should be more syncopated than it is to sound just mildly cr~p rather than totally cr~p, so I play it with more syncopation than it has but it always goes to the last verse before anybody goes with me. I've actually spent time on this - trying to find registration that makes the kangaroo sound good, and the elephant sound like an elephant. Sad. (It still sounds cr~p.)

Under no circumstances whatsoever will I do actions. Bah!

There are some gruesome delights to come, I can see - I have yet to experience Days of Elijah or the Concrete and Steel thing. A lot of the others are making me nod in agreement BUT, my guilty secret is quite liking Shine Jesus Shine, taken at a fair lick. I had never noticed the parallel octaves so I must confess to bad musicianship as well as bad taste.

One More Step along the Road
Make Me a Channel of Your Peace
Bind Us together Lord (especially the second theme)

There will be more.

Edit: One more step along the world - too busy playing it to pay attention to the words!

Me too. Don't comprehend how "And can it be" could go on the same list as some of these atrocities. Not only a belter of a tune but a fine exposition of the doctrine of grace.



Me too!

"And it's from the old I travel to the new
I wrote this song for O level and only got a U"

Ghastly.

Fairly standard list I suppose;

Shine Jesus Shine
I the Lord of Sea and Sky (or as it has become known locally, the "False Calling" Song)
Bind us in Leather
The Servant King (I will admit it has one good line "Hands that flung stars into space - to cruel nails surrenderéd)
Living Lord (Great words - but please can someone write a tune for it that is half decent?)

Things like one more step along the world I go have their place - being sung in primary school, before moving on to more meatier work (And Can it Be?)

"One More Step" is something I use for beginner piano pupils if they seem to be church-goers...along with "Seek ye First". Goes down a treat in these circumstances!

'O happy day'
'I cannot tell' (sung to Danny Boy) because we have it so often at school.

I think the one that makes my heart sink more than any other is when "While Shephards Watched their Flocks by Night" is set to that really twiddley tune that doesn't quite fit to the words. So you end up with half the congregation going...

"While shep-eh-eh-eh-eh-pa-erdwatched their flocks by night, all seated on the ground, all sea-ee-ee-ee-ee-ted on the ground" etc

while the other half launch into

"While shep-pards wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-atched their flo-or-ocks by night, all seated on the ground, all sea-ee-ee-ee-ee-ted on the ground"

and a few confuzzled souls launch into the usual tune.

Total chaos.

While Shepherds washed their socks by night, and hung them on the line.
The Angel of the Lord came down and said 'Those socks are mine!'

Sorry - Red herring

And can it be number 371 inthe 1962 edition of the Methodist Hymn Book was my father's favourite hymn which he voiced lustily and chose every time he acted as a local preacher. So I have a sentimental attachment to the first tune "Sagina" by T Campbell, that being the rousing tune dad loved.

But The second tune "Lansdown" by A Beer is much more suited to the words.

MHB 371 (Sagina) was one of the first hymns I ever played for a church service when I was 13, and is still a favourite of mine. Great old Hymn Book the old MHB ! I could still tell you a lot of the numbers of hymns from memory!

My pet hate is "As the Deer Pants for the Water"

The tune is sort of OK, but the words are just so sickly, like a love song gone wrong.

SB

Some of the early SoF hymns just make me cringe.

I really dislike "God's spirit is in my heart" - it's so low, for one thing, and the introduction always makes me think of "If I were a rich man"!

I love "And can it be" though. Also "Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah" and "Love Divine" (to Blaenwern of course). You can really tell when you've sung those hymns!

Yes, an absolute abomination.

I would like to add "On Eagle's Wings"


Give me the old reliables anytime: Blaewern, Catherine's Court, Coe Fen.

Angels from the realms of glory - will it ever end.

"I am the bread of life" and all those like "God's spirit is in my heart" where the congregation take ages (if ever ) to work out where the beat is, and when to come in .

There's another one that escapes me just at the moment, but even our music group (can't call it a choir) have reorganised the rests to suit themselves . I have to have a special hymn book with rests crossed out and counts written in. Sometimes I feel like giving up!

Was discussing this with a friend of mine this morning, she reminded me that the twiddly tune is by Thomas Merrit, which is why it isn't often heard outside Cornwall.

Apparently the rest of the country have more sense.

I have to admit as a regular church goer as a child I didn't know there was any other tune to it until the age of 12! However, I'm afraid the tune wasn't by Merritt although I admit it is very Merritt-y, the tune was written by Thomas Jarman. The tune is called Lyngham and was originally the tune for Wesley's "Oh for a thousand tongues to sing"

If you get some fantastic male voices singing the harmonies it can sound great though.

Really? Ah well, I wasn't sure myself, its what I was told.

Either way, I think it's one to leave to choirs!

YIKES! Didn't think anyone actually sang this one in services!

My new one to add is "Love is his word, love is his way." I don't know if this horrible thing is an Irish peculiarity but it is possibly the WORST written piece of music I have ever heard (including compositions by my 3 year old students!!!!!!!!)

There's an excellent text that uses this tune, which if memory serves right, may even be in NEH, called 'Come sing the praise of Jesus' and it suits the tune so well. I have a Scottish choir on cd singing it complete with trumpet obliggato and decants.

I can understand the latter, being a complete *** of a thing to play, but the former seems innocent enough.

A bugbear of mine is Give Thanks With A Grateful Heart, the reason being that I can never find the exit; it is so repetitive and with all the repeat dots and first and second time bars I generally find I have plunged into another circuit instead of wrapping the thing up! I can stand anything as long as I can see the way out.

And it is horribly reminiscent of a particularly bad Pet Shop Boys song!!!

That's a bit like doing The day Thou gavest Lord has ended in a morning service.

I have to admit that I like some of the ones others hate – I the Lord of sea and sky, These are the days of Elijah, The servant king (especially with the descant).

I think the things currently at the top of my dislike list are:
Jesus, be the centre
Come, now is the time to worship (this can be effective if it’s done well and at an appropriate point in the service, but it always gets put at the start and just doesn’t work there – it’s much better as a more reflective type thing for the slot after the intercessions)
When I was lost you came and rescued me
Bind us together Lord
Let us break bread together on our knees (the tune drives me scatty)
The jazzy version of Rock of ages, cleft for me (I like it with the more lyrical traditional tune though)
O come all ye faithful (sorry, I get so sick of it)
The Christmas carol that goes to the tune of morning has broken
Oh Lord our God, when I in awesome wonder (it goes too low for me…)
You are the bread, the bread of life
There’s lots more that I can’t think of at the moment – some of them get erased from my memory as quickly as possible.

I have to admit that I’m with David on And can it be. I like the words, and I like the tune – but somehow they’ve never seemed to fit each other.

I have problems with singing a lot of the newer songs and hymns (even when I like them) because a lot of them seem to go too low for me to actually sing. For example, I really like Before the throne of God above, but I have to miss out so many words that it ends up sounding stupid. For some things I get round this by doing a harmony over the top, but this doesn’t work with everything and there have been a couple of times when I’ve had to do this as the lead/only singer (I generally play flute, but sing if needed) and the congregation has got a bit confused.

My memories of that one are 20 eighteen year old girls trying to sing it. I was in a music room at college, and the tutor came in and said "Oh, great, you're here... we're doing an assembly on Monday, and we want you to play. All the girls are coming here in 10 minutes to have a rehearsal, you can do that, can't you?!"
They found it rather hilarious, and decided to make it sound as silly as possible.


I will think of my own list soon!

Hear, hear!

I am, in fact, happy to play Stand up, stand up, but only in order to do a last verse harmonisation that culminates with the final phrase of the Blackadder theme on the Tuba. (A nice touch of irony, I think...)

I don't know why I'm even reading this thread, I don't even know most of these hymns

Bind Us Together, Lord.

"Bind Us Together, Lord."

This piece has a 'renewed' copyright date of 1919. It is seriously not modern!

Barry Williams

Doesn't make it any better though......

SB

How could you EVER want to marry someone who wanted THAT hymn at your wedding???

We marry them in spite of their faults my OH has a taste for the songs of Frankie Laine and Katie Melua. He let me choose the hymns for our wedding though; Praise My Soul The King of Heaven and the other one I forget (it was an awful long time ago).
Bind Us Together seems to have united the forum in a rare consensus.

You mean it's bound us together?

I was trying not to say that!

changed my mind about what I was going to say - sorry

Don't think I know this one.

I can't get images of people being tied up out of my head with this one.

re the weddings: it's possible that the minister suggests this one when the happy couple aren't church-goes themselves and don't know any hymns.

And I was trying not to say that!

one of my current un-favourites is
Christ Triumphant .

The tune at least. Can not see what its appeal is.

Apart from the dreadful rubbish in 'Songs of Fellowship' and all of that ilk, my most unfavourite tunes are 'Guiting Power' and the meretricious 'Coe Fen', both written by seriously non-expert composers and lacking originiality whilst having an immediate yet shallow emotional appeal. The latter tune is but a pale imitation of Cuddesdon, Ladywell, Wolvercote and other of that high quality type.

A fine modern tune of gerat originality is San Rocco by Derek Williams, where secondary sevenths, properly resolved, carry the melody forward with the rhythmic emphasis that proper chordal progerssions alone can impart. It underlines, nay improves, the words in a way that 'Guitng Power' and 'Coe Fen' can never do.

Barry Williams

I would add these for a start

Only by grace
Colours of day
Purify my heart
Broken for me
O Jesus, I have promised (Hatherop Castle)
As the deer pants for the water
You shall go out with joy
Come on and celebrate
I watch the sunrise

And most of G. Kendrick's music can be added to room 101 too, especially that awful Jesus stand among us. Yuck!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that as we are about to have a change of hymn book, a lot of these horrors will soon be only a memory.
Certainly I have not come across Guiting Power or some of the others recently mentioned.

Please! - somebody - ANYbody, reassure me that I didn't sell the committee a pup when I recommended Common Praise when I was consulted on the matter.