Half a year ago, I was very excited with the audition & looking forward for it. Eagerly to learn my audition pieces, do well for it & enter university to do a degree in music.

But lately, my morale has been low. I don't have the confidence. Half of me want to give up, but the other half want to carry on. I'm totally lost, not knowing what to do. I'm afraid I can't perform to my expectation let alone performance standard set by the uni. ‘Cos I never perform at a concert or audition before, that why I'm feeling nervous.

Currently, I'm grade 7 standard but not that good enough. That is one of the reasons why my morale has been affected. I always feel that I can't play it well. What should I do now? Give up or carry on?

First of all don't give up. You are not a rubbish player. Think of all the times which people have praised you for your playing. I know the feeling of being lost, talk to your teacher. Your teacher believes in you to do well. Don't let your expectation take over you, you have to take a back seat. You wouldn't have got to Grade 7 without being good and having skill. You cannot play brilliantly all the time, you always have off days. But don't make these get you down, instead think to yourself, "My tone was not as good today, so I am going to work on it and make it beautiful" or whatever! I hope this has helped, I'm not sure whether this helps you that much, but keep on playing, keep your head up, talk to people, find inspiration - go to concerts etc. You can always PM me, if you need to talk. Best of luck.

I'd agree all with nicki. And at grade 7 you won't be able to give up music so no hope of that.

Also, if you don't get into uni next year that doesn't mean the end. In fact there's often a better chance of a mature student getting in - you have to convince the head of department to take you, etc. It's based more on your motivation than 'the factory'.

The main thing is to get into a frame of mind where it doesn't matter too much and you can relax. And try to give some recitals - easy pieces at first - is there nowhere? My own little band, getting restive as its been far harder to get gigs this year, decided to do some christmas carol stints and playing in a couple of restaurants/cafes. No money in it but that isn't the point.

So, you know it's a low morale patch. It'll end. Turn to things that will cheer you up - listen to music rather than play it? And if you can bear to, pratice the more mechanical stuff: scales/exercises. I'll bet something good will soon happen to make it pass soon.
take care & all wishes and good spells,
R

QUOTE

getting restive as its been far harder to get gigs this year, decided to do some christmas carol stints

So you exchanged restive for festive ??


Czaire, yes I agree too - most things go in ups and downs. There will be another "up" at some point. I'm sure things will get better again. Grade 7 is no mean achievement you know. Things generally work out ok, sometimes not quite in the way we had imagined. I certainly don't think you should give up.

Keep looking for opportunities and stay positive.
all the best

Maggie

Dear Czaire,

I book Organ Concerts 4 or 5 months in advanced, usually when I talk to the person booking me I am all pleased and excited. 2 weeks before I goto play the Organ I get very nervous and try and find a way out of it. Its all to do with fear. Don't let fear ruin the beautiful and talented muscian you are. Some people have a similar fear before Exams, their nerves are all over the place.

Turn the negative around, turn it into positive. How can I change myself from being a nervous wreck into the musician I am? By accepting yourself perhaps? Enjoy it, look forward to it, what is the worse thing that can happen? Sure, you might not get what you want but if you do your best and don't get too despondant, i'm sure something else will come along.

Wishing you all the best and lots of success,
Craig

I hate auditions which are not the same pressure as an audience. The person(s) holding the audition usually know much more about music than an average audience which is kind of monolithic and impersonal. The audition is a critical judgement. The audience don't care unless things get very bad.
I believe that all auditions say is whether you are good at auditions and have nothing to do with how you play in public. Except maybe if you can get through an audition, playing in public would be easier.

Veronique.