I'm sick and tired of not being able to buy new music that I hear or would like to learn because my sightreading is so bad. I can't pick up new music as it would take me forever to learn it so then the enjoyment would be taking out of it.
I can never keep going when I make mistakes, I find it difficult to look ahead and my sense of rhythm is not great, does this mean I will never be able to be a good sightreader?
Plus I want to be a Secondary School music teacher, how am I ever going to be able to do this if I can't sightread accompaniments or play for concerts.
It's really starting to bother me now because I'm involved in nothing at college, partly because there's nothing for pianists and if on the rare occasion I do ever get asked to play I'm too scared that I would embarrass the people who I'm playing for if I can't learn an accompaniment fast enough or play mistakes.
I used to be so inspired by my teacher in school who could pick up any piece of music and just play it straight away, it was my biggest inspiration for learning the piano and it was the one thing I always wanted to be good at but it's never happened.
I have hymm books, the Paul Harris books...
Please can someone advice me what to do because my confidence is starting to go down hill again and I don't want to be like I was a couple of years ago, and I really really want to be able to buy pieces and ENJOY playing them?
My appologies for this post being somewhat of a rant, but I feel in a slight bad mood after practising all day and not feeling any achievment.