My son has been feeling pretty rough over the weekend and to be honest I put it down to hayfever. However, he is still feeling rough this morning with very bad sore throat and looks ghastly and feels quite warm. Tried taking his temperature but I think I need a new thermometer.

Anyway, think the best thing I can do is leave him in bed to rest, phone the school and it means I will have to phone in to work to let them know that I am not going to be in.

I have now been in the job coming up 4 months and this is the first time that I have had to do this, it is impossible for me to make up the time this week and I don't want to use my holiday as I need that for the school hols.

I am hoping that they are going to be ok when I ask them to put me down as an unpaid days leave. Fingers crossed son is better tomorrow as he also has his flute lesson tomorrow evening.

It isn't like him to take himself to bed like this, usually even if he doesn't feel that well, he will struggle and make himself go to school as he hates taking time off. That is why I think he must be quite poorly, maybe a virus.

So short week again at work for me this week and it will be short again next week with the bank holiday.

ET

Both mine are off too and I am feeling ropey (but still going to work from home considering I normally go in on a Monday).

Oh dear, have you all got a virus? It is good that you can work at home, my husband often does this during the holidays, but today he has to go in as he has a presentation.

You're too nice, at that age I was left at home alone all day to look after myself

Hope he feels better soon

I don't think I have a virus but on Sunday I thought I had a hangover headache after several beers on Sat night but it just never went away. The girls have tummy problems. So who knows.

Oh I wouldn't leave my son at home, he is literally only just 13 and he really isn't well. I have started leaving him alone when he is well for the odd hour, but wouldn't like to disappear long term, maybe in another few months.

I sympathise, but running a small company its really annoying when a member of staff rings to say they can't come in because a child isn't well. When people take a job, they have to be able to cover eventualities with a relative of neighbour or something.
OK sometime's its more serious and they have to be taken to the doctor, I accept that, but it shouldnt need a whole day off, and I think at 13, he should be able to cope for some time. You can always phone him form time to time.
Sorry if that's a bit harsh, but as a more general point , I think children are mollycoddled too much these days, many parents drive their kids to school when its less than half a mile away ! On the Wirral some whose school's are further away and need a bus, a parent drives them to the bus stop !

The job I have taken fsharminor is one that doesn't effect anyone else at all. All it means is that I will make up the time when I get back to work. Total flexibility is what I have, which is why I have taken a job that is quite boring, but it pays the money and I can put my family first.

At the end of the day I am a Mum first and my job comes after. At 13 and living in a very large house and feeling poorly, is actually quite frightening when you are grown up (eg. myself included) when you are left on your own for a time.

So I can see your point if my absence effected others, but it doesn't and had it then I would have taken action to make sure that I was there.

As it is, there is no harm done, my boss is happy and I am happy because I can be at home with my son. They grow up so quickly as it is, I want to be here whilst it is still necessary.

Not sure how the law stands these days, but I remember when I eldest son was having terrible problems at school and I was having to take time off but sometimes I had to go in to work. I went to the doctor to find out what we could do about my son, and he said to me, " you are not leaving him alone are you" I said, "well just for the odd hour or so" I was told that it was against the law.

I think the law has now changed that there is no age, (used to be 14) but if anything happens then that is where the problems lie.

ET

OK I can accept there are different circumstances in each case. But will 11 staff turning over £11 million in our company (and growing) , its does get a bit annoying when a member of staff is 'off' for something like 'Little Jimmy has a bad cold'.
Or on a lighter note ' Jimmy cant go to school because he hasn't been. But I've given him something to make him go , and when he's been , he'll go'

A different kettle of fish I would say. Also on a note I am not a mum that molley coddles, in fact my son has barely had any time off school since he was 5, as he doesn't like staying at home. In this event he clearly had a temperature and had I sent him to school, the school would have phoned me up and asked me to bring him home. So in this event my son could stay in bed, what was the point in sending him to school to be sent home, and then considered as a bad parent for sending him to school in the first place.

I sympathise with your circumstances in your company, but it is nothing like the relationship I have with my employer. As I said I picked this job because it meant that I could make up the hours if I had to be off.

Rant over lol

OK I will shut up now ! Probably in a bad mood this morning because I normally dont have to come over to our Leeds Office on a Monday ! . Actually we have a full compliment of staff today, (and one is pregnant!)

Sorry you are in a bad mood, but hopefully as you have a full compliment of staff it will have lightened your mood lol.

Looks like you will have to be searching for maternity cover now. I promise you that my employer wont have to worry about that, I am well past it lol.

No hard feelings, it was quite good to bat and ball for a change. lol

ET

As an employer, you might like to consider that giving a parent a bit of lee-way when their child is ill may encourage them to be a loyal and hard-working member of staff when they are in work. Children grow up and learn to cope pretty soon, but memories are long. A harsh sickness policy can breed discontent, and what is to stop the member of staff claiming to be ill themselves, rather than admitting the truth?

Sympathies to anyone who is suffering today. I think the pollen count must have taken a sudden hike - I have been sledge-hammered today, and various students have also turned up feeling awful. Get well soon, everyone...

Sympathies to all those suffering with the pollen today

I see your point but what if you don't have (able-bodied) relatives and all your neighbours work? (This is my situation). I don't see what you can do. You can hardly employ a babysitter on the off-chance that one day your child will be ill. With my son I have been lucky - in 5 years I have only had to take one or two days off for his illness but sometimes there really is no choice and working mums feel guilty enough as it is!

So what's new?

I used to have terrible hayfever in the 70s and my mother took me to the doctor and got me a Beconase nasal spray.

Hayfever is awful.

But kids are stronger than you think.

I remember taking my O-levels during the hayfever season. Pure ######.

Somehow we survive.

Steve

I don't know whether you think I don't know what kids are like, being an experienced Mum of 3 children, 2 grown up and 2 grand children. I know when a child is really poorly and not fit for school and when it is just hayfever and you have to manage whatever. He has recently had to do all his exams whilst suffering with hayfever, but hey, this was different. He has a temperature, full of cold, headache, sore throat and tummy pains. Not fit for school - the school would phone me up if I sent him to school like that, and then I would be considered a bad parent.

Sorry this makes me so angry that someone can judge me when they don't know the full story.



It is

Hayfever isn't always a 'trivial' illness. It can be quite incapacitating, and can certainly give you a fever, due to a generalised inflammatory response (hence the name hay fever). Mine has settled down a lot since I invited a bunch of felines to live with me - maybe they have damped down my immune response, who knows? Years ago, mine was so bad that I had to have courses of steroids to get me through important occasions - finals, my wedding etc.

Eldatom - sympathies. You did the right thing - ignore the nay-sayers.

How productive is a parent going to be at work, when they are fretting about a sick child at home?

Hope your son is starting to feel better this morning ET.

There is definitely something going around here too - sore throat, headache, etc. OH's boss and another friend started with the same symptoms over the weekend - and we were all at a social event together the night before so I'm holding my breath ...

Thanks Sue HM and MaggieMay

Unforrtunately son not better today, still very bad, hubbie going to pop home for 4 hours and work at home so that I can get into work today. Not feeling brilliant myself and my job is talking on the phone all day, so don't know how long my throat will last up for - but at least I am showing good willing.

At least hopefully get it out of the way before our much needed holiday in 3 and half weeks.

Ooops better go and get ready for work!

ET

Don't wear your throat out!

I was left at home from eleven if I was ill and I always quite liked it. My mum would get me something nice for lunch and I could watch telly (such as it in those days - Rainbow and Pebble Mill at One!) all day. I honestly think you could safely leave your son at 13 but I can understand it's worrying when they're ill.

I don't think there has ever been an age at which children could legally be left alone. I do think we molly coddle our children now. Our piano teacher says I'm quite unusual to let my teenagers walk to their piano lesson on their own. I think that's really sad.

Yep throat ok, must just be hayfever I think, having talked almost non stop for 4 hours and still ok.

I think it depends on where you live on whether the child feels comfortable. My grown up son used to be on his own after school from 3pm until I finished work (then working full time) as he used to send the sitter home saying that he didn't need looking after. However, once we moved areas and to this house, he was 16 and still felt uncomfortable and nervous being her on his own. It is a large house and even I feel quite nervous on my own in it.

Sorry to butt in, but this doesn't read to me as if Steve is questioning your parenting skills. It sounds to me like he's just saying try not to worry too much.

Hope your son is starting to feel better now.

How is the patient now, Eldatom ?

Still not brilliant but sent him off to school yesterday and today. He is used to going to school when not 100%, its when they are really ill and the school just tells you to come and get them.

Thanks for asking fsharpminor.

No work for me today though, it is a day with my daughter and we are going shopping for a couple of hours. It will be great to see her as I haven't seen her for a month, due to both of our work committments, children and study.

ET

Glad to hear your son is feeling better ET.
Have a great time with your daughter today!!!!