Since I was 4 years old to now (13 years) my mother has been my main piano teacher. She's very very strict and "mean" especially if she's facing a student who plays badly. She forced me to practice when I started to get bored, so I never had a "lost interest" fase. One of my worst experiences with her is when I was 5 years old I had a bad habit of playing with flat fingers, not curved ones (my wrist couldn't keep straight, it kept falling on the wood behind the keys-the place where the lock is usually placed on an upright piano-what do you call it) and she put a sharp cutter bellow my wrist so if it fell again I could get cut! It was quite successful but then I did something wrong again (can't remember) and she lost her temper, she brought done the knife on the piano wood (you can still see the deep "ditch" she made on the piano). She made me afraid of lessons, and strangely it still has some effect until now. However, she is a good teacher, and from her 6 piano students who went through exams 4 got distinction and 2 merit.

When I practice by myself, I can play the piece well, even with her sitting on the couch, but when she annouces she'll start listening carefully I keep making mistakes that make it look like I've never practiced at all! Once a Mozart sonata went to pieces in front of her even though I could do it perfectly before. I reckon that is because I'm afraid she'll explode if I make a little mistake, so instead of playing perfect that thought makes me make mistakes. I even recognize that in other students, they play awful in front of my mother but when she asks me to check them they play well. All of those mistakes make my mother think that I don't give any attention to details, but really I'm a perfectionist!! Do you have any suggestions to make me play normally?

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QUOTE (DGA @ Dec 18 2004, 05:46 AM)

when I was 5 years old I had a bad habit of playing with flat fingers, not curved ones (my wrist couldn't keep straight, it kept falling on the wood behind the keys-the place where the lock is usually placed on an upright piano-what do you call it) and she put a sharp cutter bellow my wrist so if it fell again I could get cut! It was quite successful but then I did something wrong again (can't remember) and she lost her temper, she brought done the knife on the piano wood (you can still see the deep "ditch" she made on the piano).

would this not be classified as "child abuse" in the UK?

goodness me, it's no wonder you're so tense and worried about playing perfectly. I agree with Rhapsodin - maybe have a break, and wait until you're older. Perhaps counselling or therapy might be worthwhile - you do indeed sound like you need some help coming to terms with your childhood piano lessons!

the piano is something you should play for yourself. and if you want to play well, that should be for yourself as well, not because your mother wants you to. you're not a child any more, and while you're not an adult, you're old enough to make a lot of your own decisions, and your parents should respect that.

I can identify with the feeling of getting something wrong because you're scared of the listener, because it's happened to me many times as well. The answer is to refuse to play in front of them - if this means not playing at all, then so be it (find somewhere else to practise!), until you're comfortable playing for them again...

I would definitely recommend finding another teacher - being taught by your parents isn't really something I agree with - it just causes arguments or intimidation.

Please don't let these experiences put you off the piano, but maybe you should consider taking up an instrument that your mother doesn't teach, so that you have to have a different teacher.

Good luck.

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But there are more genial methods. ......... I don't know if you live in the UK, but your mum certainly wouldn't be allowed to teach children. Get somewhere to ENJOY your playing.

yes, I agree with the advice that's been offered so far.

Pupils progress best when they enjoy what they are doing without fear of a sharp blade or whatever !

Can you try to find somewhere else to practise?
Teaching ones own children can sometimes work but definitely not in every case.

Maggie

Can we just ask what country you are in DGA?

thats awful

Well, Rhapsodin, my mother isn't that mean now. In fact, she doesn't teach my smaller brother and other students like that. I realize that the older the student, the less she'll shout. Most of the older ones are OK, and my mother does not shout at them (she acts more usual). And she doesn't give any punishments to me again, only she's very easy to get angry.

And, I live in INDONESIA. There are tons of piano teachers here, but all of them are bad quality. They just care about money, not the students. In fact, they make the students have very little progress every month, so that they will keep getting lessons. Most of them have only passed gr 6 or so. Anybody that has finished gr 5 can be an assistant teacher. Even I got an offer from my uncle to be one during summer holidays. (he has a tiny 6 square meter studio, 5 assistants that take turns teaching and 150 students). I heard that a 25-year old gr 7 student opened and became principal of her own music school! So imagine how bad the quality is. Teachers don't care a trifle about flat fingers, legato, sharps or flats.

My mother is probably the only teacher in Bandung, my city (capital of West Java) that has an ARCT degree (canadian conservatory). Most of her students get good marks, and eventually she's becoming more famous and gets more students. There's a teacher named Stephen S. He's the most famous teacher but he's nuts. He says 10 of his students got distinction and 10 other didn't pass. Isn't that impossible?!! And he thinks that Bach played on the piano should be played like on the harpsichord, without any dynamics. So my mother didn't want me to be sent there.

And I take cello lessons from a good teacher who teaches better.

However, currently I'm considered one of the best piano students around, having completed gr 7 last year (most in Indonesia finish gr 7 when they're in college!) and I want to keep that up.

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