QUOTE(Splog @ Jul 16 2012, 11:15 PM)
QUOTE(Swell Box @ Jul 16 2012, 10:58 PM)
QUOTE(Czerny @ Jul 16 2012, 09:11 PM)
QUOTE(Swell Box @ Jul 16 2012, 01:07 PM)
The text below was copied from the website of a public school in our area.
As soon as you arrive with us you sense that, compared with other schools, here is somewhere special, friendly and pleasingly different. Our campus is exceptional, with a range and quality of facilities few can equal. Pupils past and present will tell of our successful commitment to them as individuals, our dedicated caring staff and the practical completeness of the education we provide. Examination results mean our Junior School pupils achieve very well. Whilst **** ********'s College is the UK's top number 1 School in the North for academic results, based on average UCAS A-Level points per student, we still accept a broad range of ability children. We aim to give every pupil an Education for Life, with academic achievement as its core but with social and life skills as its heart.
Our Queens Kindergarten accepts children from 3 months to 3 years, Chapter House accepts children from 3 years to 11 years and ****** ********'s welcomes pupils aged 11 to 21 - all who share our philosophy ?To Be The Best That I Can With The Gifts That I Have? and who seek a better quality of life at school as day pupils or residents on campus. We would be delighted if you were able to visit us to discover first-hand the quality of education and the breadth of learning and leisure opportunities we provide in order to meet each pupil?s academic aspirations and encourage their personal and social development.
Our curriculum provides the ?polish? which contributes to success in later life. Social skills are vitally important and give every pupil the opportunity to enhance academic achievements. We hope this website provides you with an interesting and informative insight into what makes ** so successful ? and so special.
Marks out of ten please?
8 or 9, I would say; there are a few odd phrases like "a broad range of ability children" (what's an ability child??) but it's accurate in terms of spelling, punctuation and syntax, with good use of subordinate clauses and generally it reads quite clearly. (I'm assuming the odd question marks are the fault of the forum, not the original website?)
Yes; the question marks are the fault of the forum. I wish they could fix it.
It may just be me, but I found the text quite difficult to read, and I found myself re-reading sentences three or four times to make sense of what was being said. It certainly wouldn't give me a great deal of confidence if I was contemplating spending 20,000 PA or more on my child's education.
However, the phrase that really struck me was "the UK's top number 1 School in the North".
How many top No 1 schools are there?
Not just you. Incredibly difficult to read. Phrases which don't work, words which don't go together. Successful commitment; practical completeness. What does that mean? Sounds a bit like my ten-year old who was busy looking up the thesaurus for words to make her essays more interesting and ended up writing about how the Olympic rings were "enrolled".
In a similar vein, our village primary school provides a 'New Starter's Guide'; copies of which are handed out to prospective parents during open evenings and so forth. The booklet contains information about school and its activities, with photographs of the little dears enjoying themselves.
As a parent, and a member of the school PTA I offered to edit and produce these guides so that the school could spend the money saved on more important things.
I am not too sure who had written the original guide, (nobody would own up to it), but suffice to say it was, in my opinion, badly written and loquacious in the extreme. I spent quite a few hours editing and correcting the document, added some new photographs that I had arranged to take in the school, and gave a copy to the School Secretary for approval.
It was returned without alteration, but with a comment asking that (I quote) "it shouldn't read too much like a prospectus for a public school as it might put some parents off".