QUOTE(chickenfingers @ Jan 30 2011, 11:45 PM)
I am the dad without music training. I do send my child to music lessons, sit through the lessons. I send the older one to orchestra practice. I make sure the kids do not forget to practice their musical instruments daily, I do sit with my children during their daily music practice, I do encourage them with the bits they have difficulty with, I look through their repertoire, I discuss their progress with their teachers, I buy the required books and pieces for them. I discuss with he teachers when they would like my kids to do exams, or to skip them altogether.
Does that make me a pushy dad? My musically experienced wife is simply chilled.
Yeay! A Dad posting on this topic - and a nonmusical suppushy Dad at that! Hello
No, I don't think you sound pushy either. Interesting that your more musical wife is more laid back - check out the "nightmare parent" thread on teachers at the moment!
QUOTE(MusicalNitWit @ Jan 31 2011, 09:47 AM)
I don't like the term pushy. What is pushy to one parent would be lack of care/ effort and even neglect to another. It is too subjective.
But there are plenty of boys that can sing better than DS and their parents wouldn't even consider choristerhips or music lessons. We must seem very pushy to these parents. Then there is the parent whose DC are at junior conservatoires and may think I am not doing enough or wasting my child's talent because being at school on a Saturday means that DS could not join a conservatoire. Such a parent may feel I am not pushy enough.
But I don't allo my children to drop something, or take up a new activity without making sure they know the consequences of starting/giving up such an activity.
1)Definitely agree - that's why I put pushy/supportive on the thread title - I would say that 'supportive' means helping to carry a child towards where they want to go themselves and 'pushy' means you have your own agenda and keep on shoving the poor kid when you meet resistance.
2)We are in exactly the same position in the tonedeafhouse. B1 has two instrument playing friends of similar age and probable potential. One girl has very laid back parents who let her skip practice almost every day in holiday time, regularly go away at weekends without packing the instrument and are quite happy to see very slow progress on the first instrument and practically none at all on the second (this child has yet to reach Grade 1 standard on piano in the same time it has taken B1 to approach Grade 5). They are lovely people and try very hard not to call me pushy.
The other girl has a very determined mother with a very forthright attitude. I remember sitting outside an exam room being quizzed by her on every detail of B1's musical education to date - and she then asked me - do I not worry that, at this rate, B1 may not have achieved Grade 8 before she has to start studying for her GCSEs? Would I call her pushy? Possibly not - her daughter seems very happy and well adjusted. Would she call me not pushy enough? Suspect that that is just what she was doing.
3)Huzzah for MusicalNitWit. I know that it's none of my business but I do get irritated by the way so many children are allowed to pick up and drop a dozen different activities! If one of my children starts complaining about a particular club or activity I always tell them we'll discuss it during the next end of term holiday and if they still want to quit then that's fine but I warn them they will not be allowed to restart without a very good reason indeed. So far only the Brownies has been dropped. As far as I can tell, completely without regret.