I always go, partly because I am actually accompanying some of my violin students, but even if I only have piano candidates entered I go along and wait with them. I think it helps the little ones doing their first exam in particular to see a familiar face who can reassure them. I always make a point of boosting them up a bit - and tell them that everyone around them knows how hard they have worked, and how well they have done, irregardless of what actually happens in the exam. I think the adult students like to have their hand held a bit in the waiting room too!

What do you think? Do you always go to cheer them on or do you feel it is best ot keep out of the way?

I don't go. I regard it as their first solo flight. I like to give them the idea that we've prepared together, and that I now have confidence in them to go and do their best.

Practical exams - Always. I think it's the final part of my work leading up to the exam. I think it's reassuring to see a familiar face and it let's them know they're at the right place. My teachers always went to my exams. I wait for them come out. For adults I mind their bags for them.

For theory exams I'll go if there's a first-time candidate. I won't wait for them though. I just say hello and let them know where to go and then I leave after they go in.

My son is learning at the same rate as his piano teacher's son (they're in the same class at school too) and for his first two exams (one starting any minute now...) teacher has swept them up together and taken them off, bought them a MacDonald's on the way back and generally jollied them along.

He is very laid back, great with children (esp boys) and both I and his wife are well aware that he will set them up much better than either of us could!

OTOH I don't think any of my teachers came along with me when I was young (oops no, one did accompany me); although I did do a couple of exams at my piano teacher's house. Of course, if you're accompanied you have the accompanist to keep you company ;-) and in my case they were always either my sister or a venerable teacher so I felt that they were sort of in charge.

edit - he's just phoned from the waiting room for reassurance. Now I'm all wobbly!

I would say, with both past student and parent heads on, it totally depends on the individual. You know your pupils, and you know what will work for them. My worst exam experience, from the point of view of remembering not enjoying it, was totally due to the horrible dark dusty hall!

I'm usually there cos I'm accompanying my violin pupils - but the piano pupils seem to like to see me there too - especially the adults who are usually there on their own (the kids have a parent or two with them)

I ask them if they want to warm up on the practice piano in the waiting room - but don't force it if they don't want to - and if they do, I don't comment or suggest anything...just let them get on with it.

I'm normally accompanying them so I'll be there anyway and will wait for them; if there are only pianists doing exams, then I don't go. I haven't got time really!

I agree. I think because my own teachers never went along to exams, I grew up thinking it was something that was done without them and carried this over into my own teaching.

The only time I've ever been around for my pupils' exams was when I was organising the exams (abroad) and also acted as steward.

Of course! I always go with my pupils and consider it part of my duty as a piano teacher. A lot of mine are far too young (5-10 year old) to be expected to travel to the exam centre on their own.

I go along if I can, especially for the ones taking their first exam. It doesn't always work though. When I was a teenager my piano teacher mostly came along to support before I went into the exam room. In those days the exam period usually fell across half term so my exams were often in half term as my teacher would request that week - it suited her for accompanying other people and supporting her own pupils.

Don't their parents take them? I certainly don't see it as part of my job to arrange how the pupils get to the centre

I went when I had a large number of pupils all taking grade one at the same time, but now I let most of them get on with it, as almost all have done a few exams.

I did get asked once to leave by an adult. He had his exam at the end of the large number of children doing grade 1 and had a look of complete mortification on his face when he turned up and caught sight of me!

He was very nervous and couldn't cope with the thought of me listening in and I had to promise to leave, which I duly did!

I would never expect parents to take them and wouldn't even ask. Normally the exams are in the middle of a working day so parents would have to take time off work. Also most parents I've met are absolutely useless at last-minute preparation in the waiting room, reminding them of any special techniques they have been learning for various parts of the exam, calming their last-minute nerves, possibly doing some relaxation exercises (I am trained, the parents are not) and of course to be there to greet them afterwards. I consider that to be my role, not a parent's role who normally doesn't know the first thing about music. My teacher always went with her pupils to the exams, so I do the same.

I find that quite often Grandparents bring children to exams, otherwise the parents take time off work.

None of my teachers ever came to my exams and I wished that they would have done.

My parents seem to manage to cope.

And I don't regard waiting room time as chance for a 'last minute pep-talk'.

I go with my clarinet student as I'm accompanying him.
I don't go with piano students though if someone really wanted me there I would go if I was able.
My piano teachers have never gone to the exam centre with me though mostly I'd really have loved to have had them there but that's part of how it is.

I wouldn't consider taking my students to the exam centre. That's for parents to sort out and I make sure they know this before the exam entry goes in. With my clarinet student I've been picked up and taken there by his granddad except for the time I had to go off somewhere immediately after.
The only time I'd consider taking a student to the exam would be if it was the child of a very close friend or family member. I wouldn't want to deal with the official sort of procedure and would be wary of doing so without.

porilo, how does this work for you? My pupils go to different schools, often are not available on the same day so take their exams in different weeks. Or there is a clash and a last minute rescheduling - I have one pupil travelling a long distance to a centre to make sure she gets the date she wants. I can't imagine how on earth I'd manage to do what you do! Not only that, but having 2 school-age children myself I'm often not available to go....

Having said that, if there is a problem with getting to an exam I'm happy to help. I had one pupil come and eat lunch with me and have a play-through as her mum couldn't get her to the exam. On another occasion I met another in the snowy weather and walked her to the centre as her mum could only get her car so far and has a disability. These though are exceptions.....

I couldn't take children to the exam centre - or I'd need a large vehicle to do it in and they would all have to wait around for hours - I had 15 candidates entered this time!

I am at all my students exams - because I organise Special Visits in our building twice a year, steward for it, and accompany my violin and voice students... I don't really have an option!! I also have been known to sit an exam on the same day as them too And sometimes the pupils like having you there - sometimes the parents don't know how to deal with the whole situation and can wind their children up quite spectacularly!!! Resulting in me having to calm them down and remind them that they can do it, and I wouldn't have entered them if I didn't think they were more than capable to do well. On the other side though there are plenty pupils and parents who are fine on their own, and some who just don't want to talk to anyone just before hand!! I just go by what the pupil wants - if they want to talk to me that's fine, i'm there and more than happy to reassure!! If not that's fine too - it's their exam and they can deal with that situation however they want.
We have a performance class a few weeks before the exam going over entering the exam room, what to do in the waiting/practice room etc so they all know what to expect.
I don't get involved at all in their last minute practicing - unless I feel they are panicking and over-doing it, in which case I go and ask if they would like to come back to the waiting room and relax. Even for the pupils I am accompanying all I do is tune, top and tail pieces, then leave them to it...
I think if you live close enough and have to option to go, then ask you students whether they would like you there or not, and go with what they feel more comfortable with. If you live a fair distance away, and you are not accompanying I feel as long as you have prepared them well so they know what to expect there is no need to be there to hold their hand - unless you really want to be... I think each individual is different and it's up to you!!

Neither do I. Quite the opposite. That's why, if you read again what I wrote, I clearly said that I use the time for relaxation techniques which I have taught them, calming nerves, etc. It never ceases to amaze me why people always read what they think I have written, but not what I have actually written. I totally agree with muzikalbadger. Parents are excellent at making their children even more nervous than they already are.

I was advise by the school I teach at that my car insurance would not cover them, so on no account was I to take them myself.

I do go to the exam centre(s) with my candidates, with the exception of the sixth formers I teach at college. It helps to make sure they warm up properly in the waiting room, and they often like to run through their scales or memory exercise with me before going in.

it depends what you think I meant by 'last minute pep-talk'

I would never expect parents to take them and wouldn't even ask. Normally the exams are in the middle of a working day so parents would have to take time off work. Also most parents I've met are absolutely useless at last-minute preparation in the waiting room, reminding them of any special techniques they have been learning for various parts of the exam, calming their last-minute nerves, possibly doing some relaxation exercises (I am trained, the parents are not) and of course to be there to greet them afterwards. I consider that to be my role, not a parent's role who normally doesn't know the first thing about music. My teacher always went with her pupils to the exams, so I do the same.
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by the way, not all parents can't manage! Seeing as most, like myself, manage to juggle doctors/dentist appointments, dance exams, school visits and their own work I really expect that parents can organise themselves. If either of my sons had an exam in something I didn't know about I would want to be there and they would most definitely want me there........ As to last minute preparation I think generally some encouraging words are usually best in the last few moments.

I almost always go to my pupils exams. Most are at my house, so I have to go!
My accompanist and I drove my Trinity pupils this time to the exam as it was very difficult for one of the parents last week and they are pupils I have had for 6 years!
Most of my parents can get their pupils to the exams- they share if they work and are from the same school! I ensure they have their reed in the correct position, have lent clarinets when they have broken at the last minute, given out reeds when they have broken 2 in the waiting room! I warm them up and help tune them in the waiting room. I also like to see them when they come out of the exam!

i don't go to theory exams.......

I always go -I quite enjoy the experience actually. My students have always appreciated that little chat beforehand and to be honest, the parents often need more support than their children! I usually request a morning appt. if possible and the board are pretty helpful in that respect. I feel we are in this together from beginning to end. I love to see the faces of the Prep Test pupils as we read the certificate together afterwards.

I occasionally go. I went this morning - 2 pupils - one doing her very first exam and one doing his Grade 7. Just went to cheer them on, be encouraging and smile with them when they came out. Wasn't doing anything else this morning and the centre is only 5 mins away. Both pupils came with their parents. Only once have I taken pupils to their exams when 2 exams had to be rearranged for 2 different centres so I offered to take them. Otherwise it's up to the parents to get them there.

edit: I do make a point of phoning them as soon as possible after the exam to ask how it went and make encouraging noises.

I like to be there for pianists and for students I'm accompanying. It was something teachers did for me and I appreciated it. It meant if I did have last minute questions, there was my teacher on-call there ready to answer them.

Given I appreciated this when I was younger then I am there for my pupils too. I was glad last week too. I believe as teachers if we can we should attend. What happens if we have students with particularly bad performance nerves, or who are upset at the end of the exam? Much as I don't like seeing my pupils crying, I'd rather know when they are so that I can listen to the reasons why and help them out.

It is part of the "what makes them tick" bit.

I don't want to devise a scheme of work that is going to put undue pressure on a student, especially if they have a specific learning difficulty. I find this curious, empathy is something I have to really work at, but in this area, it is something 'I get!'.

I didn't go when I was working full time and teaching part time. But once I gave up the day job I always went. The reaction from the students told me that it was the right thing to do - they said they were much more relaxed. When we used a centre I would arrive before the first one and stay until the end, cancelling lessons if I had to. My role was to welcome them, take them individually into another room and go through the warm up exercises with them, generally lighten up the atmosphere in the waiting room, and reassure the parents - they are nervous too! I would also sort out the music in the right order for the accompanist (I might have a dozen taking exams) and give a recap on tempi - if you are playing for 40+ songs you can't remember them all! Now I have special visits, and the only thing that has changed is the venue.

I can see reasons both for and against, but what has surprised me is teachers expressing the opinion that it's not the parents' job to get their children to the exam!

It's the first time I've ever heard of this! I have taken both my children to countless exams, taking time off work when necessary.

porilo, you are rather disparaging about parental behaviour before exams. To put the other side of the coin, one of my son's clarinet teachers was expert at winding him up in the waiting room - he had the lad in tears once before the exam, which I was furious about. We asked him not to attend the next exam!

OTOH, I was once unfortunate enough to be waiting alongside the most dreadful mother. As soon as her child had entered the exam room she shushed all the other people waiting so that she could listen at the wall, and then when the child emerged berated her in front of everyone for every little error! It certainly opened my eyes as to why no-one is meant to listen to the practical exams.

I had exactly the same reaction!


If I went with my pupils I would have to take time off work myself. It may be that they would appreciate my presence but I see that as above and beyond the call of duty. (NB I'm not saying there's anything wrong with accompanying candidates to their exam.)


What you wrote was, "Also most parents I've met are absolutely useless at last-minute preparation in the waiting room, reminding them of any special techniques they have been learning for various parts of the exam, calming their last-minute nerves, possibly doing some relaxation exercises (I am trained, the parents are not)..."

Sounds pretty much like a pep talk to me, certainly the first part...


Not to mention it being strongly advised against on child protection grounds.


(Sorry for the multi-quotes. )

I always go to the exam even if the parents are going aswell, often to calm the parents down more than the pupils!! We always go for an ice cream/cake on the way home which has become an exam tradition with me now.

My pupils' parents have always been there - unless they're older teenagers who've been to exams before, and they sometimes make their own way there. They've also always been perfect in the waiting room - calm and reassuring.

How do you get all your pupils there porillo - if they all have exams at the same time - or one after the other? I sometimes have 5 or 6 pupils taking exams on the same day. They go to schools all over the city. No way could I go round and pick them all up and get them there in time.

I think the pupils also appreciate the "treat" they invariably get when accompanied by their parents - be it a McDonalds afterwards or a shopping trip to buy something nice.

I don't usually comment in the waiting apart from to give encouragement and reassure them before and afterwards - but tomorrow I will make an exception for one Grade 1 who ALWAYS plays "vampire blues" with swung quavers the first time she plays it - and then plays it perfectly when I remind her! So I'll be reminding her - and encouraging her to try it on the piano in the waiting room!

I suppose it depends on individual parents although I have to say that most of my pupils' parents are not very encouraging, which is why I always go with my pupils. If a parent wants to come too, they are more than welcome, but I make it clear that they are not to interfere. The main point I was trying to make is that the pupil should be relaxed and confident when they enter the exam room and I have found that the presence of a parent often makes them more nervous.



That's easy. We have this wonderful thing (well sometimes it's not so wonderful when it doesn't work ) called the London Underground. They all gather at my house and we travel en masse. The exam centre is only 3 stops away, which is very convenient. On the odd occasion one of the parents has driven us all there as he has a huge car (not sure what it's called) which can take I think 10 passengers. It's like a small minibus. THat doesn't happen often, though, because parking is a complete nightmare.

So the kids make their own way to your house via the Underground? Or do their parents bring them?

Most of them live locally, within walking distance, so the parents normally accompany them to my house and then we go together to the underground. They're too young to travel on their own.

I thought their parents were at work? I can't keep up with this!

If I had parents unwilling to take their children to the exam centre I wouldn't be entering them for exams.
It would be quite possible that they wouldn't be willing to pay for exams either.

Yes, that's what was confusing me!! I thought the idea that you take pupils because you wouldn't expect the parents to take time off work?

Oh dear! It's really simple. The parents bring the children to my house, in the same way that they would normally take them to school every morning. The parents then go to work because they don't have the time to spend hours at the exam centre. I accompany the children to the exam centre, sometimes together with a parent if any of them are available (which is rare), and bring them back. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I don't understand why others don't understand. Seems simple enough to me and works well.

I think the key here is that we're all different ;-)

I like your scheme!

I spent the morning chilling out with my son, then delivered him to his teacher who took 3 pupils to the centre, stayed with them, fed them and brought them back. Not sure if he'd do that if they weren't his son and two of his son's friends, though...

I need to work out a plan for how we organise our RSCM awards later in the year. I'm fairly sure we'll need to have a Costa trip afterwards (3 adults, 3 children plus the choirmaster accompanying us all...) - possibly with a hip flask as well!

As a parent, this is all fascinating.

One of the things I have noticed about humankind (and I'm not specifying music teachers here - honest) is that they think that their way is the right way - and that everyone should be able to guess what it is.

I have employed a multiplicity of music teachers and every one has a different attitude to going to the exam with the child - right the way from collecting the child from school for me and bringing her back afterwards to a vague - 'text me how it went?' They are all lovely people and committed teachers and they all assume that I should know without asking what their level of involvement will be. Reading this thread has made me understand better how teacher's attitudes have been moulded by their own experience of being taught. Everyone has their own idea of what good (or indeed 'normal') teaching practice is.

I don't think there is a right or wrong thing to do and I don't know which arrangement my daughter prefers. I do know she was horrified at her friend's music teacher who not only accompanied her pupil to the test centre but actually crept out into the garden to hear them play through the window.

That sounds fine for a morning appointment, but do you do that if your times are late in the afternoon? Woulod their schools agree to their taking off the entire day?

I always used to go, because I was also teaching singing and recorder and therefore needed as an accompanist, so I usually went even if there were only pianists. Iver the past few years I've only been about twice, becasue the exams have usually been at a time when I was teaching, and the parents have said they could to the escort duty.

This time I had a little girl doing the prep test whose father owns and runs a small shop and couldn't have come out, so I took the bus to the shop, picked up small girl and went with her to the exam, and brought her back to my house afterwards (I also do a little English coaching for her, so this was paid for) uintil Dad could come for her.

(Digressing: we had great conversations on the bus, including a discussion about Father Christmas, in which she replied, when I asked her what happens if you don't believe in Father Christmas, that it meant you weren't a real Christian!)

My attitude when I do go with them is not one of last-minute pep-talks or quiet calm relaxation exercises - I try to keep them laughing, so that they will go into the exam room looking cheerful!

I think the fact that the teacher, or indeed parent may be able to hear them play during the exam puts a lot of candidates off - my pupils love the fact our exams are in a soundproofed recording studio and even if we stood right outside the door we wouldn't be able to hear anything. It also has no windows, so is less distracting. We are exceedingly lucky to be able to use it, and all our students say they feel much more relaxed because of it - that and the warm up room is the room they use for their lesson every week, and the exam piano is the same make of digital piano we all teach on!! They seem to like that all 3 teachers are the stewards, and the parents like a wee chat in the waiting room, and all the cakes and sweeties we have for after its all over!!! Its a regular little party!!! And makes for a nice relaxed atmosphere, which I think no matter WHO is with the candidate is important. If they are relaxed (as can be!!) in the waiting room, regardless of parent/teacher being there I think that makes the most difference really. I was lucky growing up as our local centre had the same steward there - a lovely wee lady with a blue rinse!! who really made you feel at ease - regardless of whether I was doing a violin exam which required my teacher to be there to accompany, or a piano exam which my teacher didn't attend... My parents were always more nervous than me!! (until I got a bit older and realised I wanted to do this as a career and the exams became much more important to me...)

All the exams are always in the morning. If an afternoon exam is allocated then it's a simple matter to call ABRSM and they are always very helpful to reschedule it to a morning time, most likely on another day. The schools have no problem in giving the children a day release, after all for most of my pupils their exams are just once a year. I would not be happy for a pupil to have to go to school in the morning and then do a late afternoon exam. It would be too much of an overload for them. Sometimes, if the exams are quite early in the morning, they can go back to school in the afternoon, otherwise if the exams are late morning they just have the whole day off. You can guess what they prefer !!

Between music and dancing my children often end up having an exam every term. The school is very very strict about attendance but is quite happy to sign them out for exams. Apparently it isn't legally absent it's "Educated Off the Premises" - which doesn't show up on the statistics.

^ This

This is fascinating. It would never have occurred to me not to take my children to their exams. But I suppose I am lucky that I have always known the date of the exam well in advance so can plan work around that. Depending on the time of the exam, the children have always been into school before and/or after. Not sure schools would be too keen on a whole day off.

I always felt my younger daughter was lucky - her first exam was on the cello and she was accompanied by her teacher, which I think is the ideal situation for a young child. The older one started on the piano so had to go it alone, though someone went in with her to make sure the piano stool was the right height and help adjust it. Piano and violin teachers have never been around on the day of the exam.

What does "^ this" mean? (See last forum rule above).

No parent has ever questioned having to take time off work to bring their children to exams. They are not there more than half an hour anyway, unless it is a higher grade. People arrive one at a time to my house, parents can come in if they like. I can't think of anything worse that a waiting room full of nervous candidates. At least with one at a time they can have individual attention. We use my lounge as a waiting room and my music room is on the other side of the hall. No-one can hear the exam from the lounge - unless there's a really high note from a soprano!
I always request afternoon exams for my singers. We sing better later in the day and most just come out of school. Because of the timings many are after school anyway.
I agree with Linda.ff - my most important role is to keep everyone laughing. This is achieved not only by the conversations with the candidates and parents but also by the light hearted banter with the accompanist, whom they all know from our concerts and festivals. Adult students appreciate my being there too. They say it is less nerve wracking than when I couldn't go.

It's just an arrow, isn't it?

(Or should I write "It is just an arrow, is it not"??)

I wondered what it was too. If it's only an arrow then the post consists of just one word "This" - which doesn't really make any sense. Satisfy our curiosity COOL BOY please.

My Grade 1 yesterday - mum picked her up from school and then took her back again after - total time out of school about an hour. The Grade 7 one is old enough to get there on his own, but his grandmother brought him as he needed to be somewhere else quickly after the exam. The one tonight - mum will take her.

Later yesterday there was a knock on the door and there stood my little Grade 1 pupil with a bunch of flowers for me, just to say thank you - no wonder I'm fond of her, she's such a nice little girl.