My nephew who lives in the States, has this up on Facebook at the moment. I presume it's a fake, but it still made be laugh. It appears as a "situations wanted" type ad but I have typed it out as I wasn't able to copy it. Apologies if everyone has seen it before.
Pro Bassist Available (Jackson)
Bass player available for PAYING GIGS ONLY. I play G, C, D. If your songs are not in G, please transpose them into G. If your song has an Em, Bm or anything off the wall, I will probably sit out that chord. Or I could learn these notes for $30 each.
If you want me to do fancy stuff like go back and forth between G and D while you hold a G chord, forget it because I'm a "pocket player". Minimum $100 per gig with a 5 mile radius of (zip code). $5 per mile travel charge for other areas out of town. Please make sure your gigs are on a JATRAN bus route, or you can pick me up at my place. Must be home by 11pm due to previous legal hassles. No gigs within 500yds of schools, parks or playgrounds.