My nephew who lives in the States, has this up on Facebook at the moment. I presume it's a fake, but it still made be laugh. It appears as a "situations wanted" type ad but I have typed it out as I wasn't able to copy it. Apologies if everyone has seen it before.


Pro Bassist Available (Jackson)

Bass player available for PAYING GIGS ONLY. I play G, C, D. If your songs are not in G, please transpose them into G. If your song has an Em, Bm or anything off the wall, I will probably sit out that chord. Or I could learn these notes for $30 each.

If you want me to do fancy stuff like go back and forth between G and D while you hold a G chord, forget it because I'm a "pocket player". Minimum $100 per gig with a 5 mile radius of (zip code). $5 per mile travel charge for other areas out of town. Please make sure your gigs are on a JATRAN bus route, or you can pick me up at my place. Must be home by 11pm due to previous legal hassles. No gigs within 500yds of schools, parks or playgrounds.

Ha ha ha!

Ah - that's in the same vein as:

How do you confuse a guitarist?

Put sheet music in front of him.....

Ducks...

No need to duck, Tenor Viol - one of the guitarists at church is supposedly 'allergic to dots'!

I read this, and think straight back to the comments of a jazz musician I know, for whose knowledge and ability in his own genre I have the greatest of respect. His take on dots is that they are everything which is counter to musical expression.

I happen not to hold either view. Either approach, with or without dots, if it produces good quality of music (by which I mean, music which can engage, and needs some development of skill and maturity in its production), is surely of equal validity?