Well I've sent my very first email to terminate lessons just over an hour ago!
I took on an adult and son in January, the father was having lessons every two weeks and the son weekly. They started on 23rd and 25th Jan respectively. Less than a quarter of scheduled lessons have actually taken place and I've completely had it with either a pathetic excuse or just a no show!
I've had everything from being unwell, working late, can't get a babysitter for my other kid and so can't bring this one to you, parents night which we've just remembered about (10 mins before the lesson time) (the kid goes to a school not far from here which my father in law is depute head of! parents night wasn't until March!, this excuse was in Feb!), and a total of three no shows between them!

Tonight I've had enough!, I've taken the soft approach of, 'our arrangement clearly isn't working and I'd advise you to look for a teacher who can offer lessons on an Ad Hoc basis, unfortunately this is my living and I cannot offer anything..Blah Blah Blah!
I'm keeping the, 'You are in serious breach of our contract..' incase he decides to come back all guns blazing!

I feel a million per cent better now I know that's dealt with! I wasn't even nervous pressing the 'Go' button on the email! God I'm getting tougher at this teaching thing!!

Have many of you been in this position?

Been there, got the T shirt. Leaves me shaking every time.

I have sent a couple of these emails in this current academic year. Each one makes me feel horribly anxious and usually gives me a sleepless night!

Oh yes. Me too. Most recent was middle of last term: a mother who was trying to re-write my Ts and Cs for me.

Regular holidays in term time, a week's half term running over two weeks, etc. I had successfully kept my end up for a couple of years, but last term it started to get silly, with mum asking for missed lessons to be carried over into the next billing period. The week after half term she started messing around with the timetable again, and my patience finally snapped. Actually no sleepless nights over that one - it had looked inevitable for some time.

Good on you, chraze1: this family needed to be terminated! Don't ever put up with this sort of behaviour, you don't deserve it and are better off without, believe me we've all been there. I hope you got paid for every time this family messed you about, if not, it's time to update your T & C'S.

I "sacked" a pupil too. Kind of cathartic in a way.

I'd started a thread recently about being mucked about by friends/people I knew and had one of the worst offenders just not turn up for a lesson. Rang the parent who said "oh, Child X has decided to do something else, can we do a different day". I girded my loins and said "no, sorry, I don't Child X's heart is in learning an instrument. If they are you need to find another teacher as I can't keep rearranging my schedule". Dead silence on the other end of the phone and then an apology - but too little too late I'm afraid and the child has gone. Phew!

I'm waiting for the fall out for one of my sackings to come later this afternoon. I had a sleepless night last night & am feeling really rough today with a full afternoon of teaching ahead. I know I've done the right thing,( although perhaps I could have handled it better). I'm even more cross now though beacuse I don't feel up to teaching a specially arranged lesson this afternoon, specifically designed to help a lovely child who is having real problems. Once again, achild/family is going to feel the impact of another's behaviour/attitude.

You've done the right thing and i'll bet it's a weight off your mind. I've had students like that in the past who don't think there's anything wrong with mucking me around. I've learned to be more strict. All lessons missed are chargeable (why some parents find this surprising is beyond me) and if they don't like it, they can go and find another teacher. If, say, five students cancel or don't bother turning up in a day that means i've just to go back home without being paid a penny? I don't think so! I recently had one who's father said it was unfair he had to pay for a missed lesson (he text me 5 mins into the lesson time to cancel) as he didn't realize until the day before that his son had a parent's evening at school and it wasn't his fault he had to cancel - not mine either though and why should i be hit in the pocket for someone else's lack of forward planning?!!! I've got a few adult pupils who continuously cancel last minute, and it just makes me question how dedicated they really are to learning.

I've learned through teaching for a while and talking to other teacher colleagues that there are a lot of people out there who will happily take you for a mug of they think they can get away with it. Some people have absolutely no shame, consideration or manners whatsoever.

Good for you!

It could be a good idea to have students pay in advace for lessons say 4 or 10 lessons. I would never dream of missing a lesson with my teacher. I pay every year for lessons and the tuition is worth every penny, sometime I can change the day if I am going on holiday but will always tell my teacher about a months notice in advance. A lot of students are taking the XXXX, before I had private tuition I used to go to a music school and some of the students said they have had no time to practice during the week but sat there taking about watching eastenders and coronation street
Russell grade 1

He realised the day before, but didn't think to cancel the lesson then?

Yes, I think some adult students are not dedicated to learning, judging by their dedication to last minute cancellations!

European pianist quote
"It could be a good idea to have students pay in advace for lessons say 4 or 10 lessons."



Thanks to all, I have T & C's which state fees should be paid on the first lesson of every month, but he never brought back the signed copy despite me asking several times, I let the first two cancellations go back in the early days, but then I told him that as per my T&C's lessons should be paid for if cancelled less than 24 hours before. He promised to pay what was outstanding and for the next week he had an excuse every day via text or email to tell me why he hadn't gotten round to posting the fee through my door! Eventually he did pay - thankfully! Last night was just the limit for me though! No show on Mon and no reason and no show last night and again no contact! how dare they!

I've just finished entering candidates online!, 3 for theory in June all Grade 1'ers, and 2 for Practical, a grade 2 and a grade 3!, These wee delights are why I do this job - absolutely love it!

The first section of my T&C's also states that "Failure to return these terms and conditions but continuing tuition constitutes acceptance of the terms and conditions for tuition."

It's a great clause for cases just as you describe above and I point it out to everyone who takes their terms home to read before signing.

Might be worth adding into yours?

Catherine x

Excellent! mwahahaa

Is it just me, or do we seem to be going through a period of badly behaved parents? In all the years (aaargh!!) I've been teaching, I can't remember the volubility, sheer bad manners etc that seem to be in evidence at the moment.

and, yes, it does have a knock on effect with other lessons (with lovely pupils/parents) as well.

Best wishes,

Dorabella x

I've become much more rigid with my T&Cs over the past 6 months as parent behaviour started slipping, but they seem to have got the message now. To the one who kept cancelling lessons and was about to cancel another I simply said "that's fine, but I'll have to give your slot to someone on my waiting list"; they haven't cancelled since. I've had a couple of cheeky "can I have half an hour instead of one", to which I just said no; they stopped coming and a much pleasanter family have taken their place.

The fist time I did this I felt a bit harsh, but it's the best way to ensure a good long term relationship.

By the way, I don't have written T&Cs, a verbal agreement works just as well and is just as enforceable.

For a while I was very rigd on my Ts & Cs but have had to relax a little, as I myself have to cancel lessons at short notice if childcare falls through, or my son is ill etc etc. I can no longer be as flexible at making up lessons at the weekend as there's no one to watch my son so end up having to give credit on the following month, or re-scheduling the cancelled lesson for the holidays.....

Obviously I don't know the circumstances, but I'd have thought it was entirely reasonable for a pupil/parent to ask to cut down from an hour lesson to half an hour. I don't see this why this should be considered cheeky.

I assume they meant on the odd occasion without sufficient notice rather than permanently.

Well if the arrangement is for an hour's lesson, you can get some people who will roll up and say "Oh, I haven't had time to practise this week, can we just do half an hour instead?" - if the teacher accepts this, then they may lose half an hour's income, unless the student has paid in advance and doesn't mind losing the money. That time could have been taken by another student if notice had been given. Hence, cheeky and not to be encouraged!

Different entirely if student can't cope with an hour or whatever, and needs to schedule a shorter lesson on a regular basis, in which case it is a perfectly reasonable request, but not ad hoc as I think the above poster meant.

Ah, it hadn't occurred to me that someone would do that, which I quite agree is cheeky. I was thinking of someone who wanted to cut down from a regular hour lesson to a regular half hour one.

So was I.

I had a pupil recently who would always try and get an extra 5-10 minutes unpaid lesson time! He accused me of under cutting the lesson time! So he would show up late to pick the child up, I timed the lesson on a stop watch! How rediculace.

I spent alot of time searching for a suitable guitar for the child we found one, and the week after they never show'd for the lesson. So I rang and he put the phone down!

On the plus side here is a email from a pupils family member a received the other day;

"Joseph plays for me whenever I see him and he is developing a lovely touch and an exquisite sensitivity to music. Well done on his exam results too. I see the framed certificates on the wall and I feel the family's happiness in what you're achieving with Joe. So thank you from me too".?

I call it 'the ruff with the smooth'.

I've sadly had to move on an advanced pupil who I've been teaching for many years. Although she was hard working, enthusiastic and lovely, her parents couldn't see why arranging other things for her to do in my lesson slot (the time of which was chosen by the pupil in the first place!) was inconsiderate. They would only realise that they had a double booking on the day and would give me very little notice. Recently, they cancelled the lesson and the rescheduled lesson, so it was time to go. I would not have dreamed of treating my own teacher like that when I was learning - it's so disrespectful. I could draw up a Ts and Cs contract, but I want my other families to feel that they can have some flexibility without having to worry. I've found that the common sense negotiation approach works fine with most people. I can't understand why parents would fork out thousands of pounds over the years on lessons and exam fees, and then mess it up for the youngster who they expected to engage with it in the first place! It's really sad, especially for the pupil. I guess it's a tough old job sometimes, however you go about it!

Hello Norway & welcome to the forum.

Lovely place, Norway. Particularly liked Alesund.

Re Sackings - I'm sorry to say it gets easier and easier the more you do it. Also the threshold of what triggers it gets lowered too. Almost to the point where I wake up and stretch and greet the day with a lovely "Who am I going to sack today?" smile on my face.

Since I got sack-happy suddenly every one's started behaving.
Get extra juice out of it by telling your other pupils (or their parents) what you've done. Just in a chatty way... "Oh what a day I've had, I had to let someone go... etc

You sound like you're compering for the Eurovision Song Contest!

Not really, the curriculum and the way I like teach requires 1 hour lesson. That is what I do. If they want a different teacher with a different curriculum and a different teaching method that's their choice. They certainly are not be in a position to tell me how to best do my job. Imagine going to a dentist and saying, "sorry, you've got to see to my teeth in 3 sessions, not 5, because it doesn't fit into my schedule"?

I've only just got tough. It's been a long time coming. Letters printed out; new contracts ready to go....and suddenly everyone, EVERYONE, has snapped into place. I'm beginning to feel guilty for thinking so badly of them recently.

I think that if you do need to move someone on due to inconsiderate parental attitudes, it's important to make sure that the child understands why. (This can be done positively by explaining how instrumental teachers need to work regularly in order to make a living, and without slating the parents). Otherwise pupils might think that the teacher is blaming them, or that they are not valued or liked, or are no good at music, or whatever else. I managed to have a very amicable discussion with my departing pupil. I celebrated our successes, discussed possible future avenues for her playing, said how much I'd enjoyed teaching her and wished her well for the future.

Well your post has tickled me although it is tongue in cheek?

Get this-Guy was on a trial period. 1st time he arrived 15 MINS LATE. Naturally I said I thought he wasn't coming blah...and it continued this way for the other two lessons plus no practise...oh...and he was telling me how to teach and only trying out the pieces miles ahead in the book which were played appallingly...his own efforts too..wow..

This is in anticipation of the fourth lesson. Note the time and my terms state phone or in person only.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011 12:48 AM
Re: Tomorrow ( really today)

Hi Semele,

I've got a lesson booked for tomorrow (actually now today) at 6:45.
I was expecting to get some chance to practice but this hasn't happened.
J's eldest son D brought the family and kids up from Colchester from last Wednesday till
Tuesday. I haven't had a moment to practice with work and babysitting, going for family meals and socialising.
I suspect if I make the lesson tomorrow it will be a telling off session as I'll be no better than last week.
Can we reschedule please?
BTW he only comes up once or twice a year.

cheers
J"rkoff" my """""

Response:

J

With respect I think it's best we cancel lessons completely. For me changing lessons is an occupational hazard, but I don't expect to have to do it as often with you, especially at the last minute, and it causes me inconvenience as I have a life, children and commitments et al too. Plus the fact my mum is in hospital. Lack of practise is not a valid reason to rearrange lessons either. I also stipulate in my contract and also told you last week I can't rearrange lessons via email. Missed lessons must also be paid for which I think will irk you as you think I'm at your beck and call. So best to call it a day.

When you find another teacher please bear my thoughts in mind as all teachers get fed up with it.

Kind regards,

S.

And my mum died of the big C soon after, but being s/e we have to continue with getting the pennies in,don't we?

However I found it quite liberating.

Sack-Happy too. Totally agree.

Endless Pleasure..only Handel

Sorry for the loss of your mum, Semele

I wouldn't dream of telling a dentist how best to do their job, but I might look for another one if I found that the way they did things didn't suit my schedule or my budget. I think a pupil or parent should feel able to ask for half hour lessons, but I also think you are perfectly within your rights to refuse.

Don't weaken now!! You are absolutely doing the right thing. If they continue to behave, there is nothing for either you or them to feel bad about, is there?