QUOTE(BadStrad @ May 20 2012, 11:11 AM)
Hi Helen, as an adult learner (violin not harp) I struggle with motivation. Sometimes, even when my playing's going well I get so down on my self - "why am I bothering, I'm so old, I'll never get to play like Perlman (who does!!!???), I'll never go to music college, I'm wasting my time and money, playing for my own enjoyment. . . ." and blah, blah, blah. The nay-saying varies but the gist of it is variations on all the negative things people have said to me about me and music, bolstered in strength by a big dollop of low self confidence.
But then I remember the YEARS I have spent dreaming about playing an instrument and pining that I can't play an instrument and can't make music and that gives me a nudge in the right direction. And it might sound a bit morbid but I think about how it would feel to reach the end of my days and know that I didn't try to learn. To know that I spent my life not even trying to do one of the things that I have yearned for - that's not a regret I want. So I tighten my bow and find the simplest piece of music I own and play it, and then another. They're mostly simple Bluegrass tunes, but they sound like music, and playing them gives me the confidence to keep going and try something a bit harder and so it goes on.
So for me, what motivates me is (a) looking at the bigger picture (not just the immediate feeling of being useless) and being determined not to give up on my dream. (b) having some simple tunes that I can play, that gives me a bit of a boost because I CAN play them and sing along in my head. ? not worrying about the future, just playing in the here and now, chipping away at it, slowly getting better. (d) my teacher. No matter how little I feel like having a lesson, he always gets me leaving the lesson wanting more. Do you have a teacher?
Anyway - that was a bit waffly, but, you're not alone, Helen. I think you just have to remember why you're learning and focus on how great it will feel when it starts to come together.
Thanks so much. I did have a teacher but funds have stopped me going and now son is using spare cash for him. I should just keep going as I am sure we have all gone through this. mmmmm I cannot get any worse so I shall battle on.
Thanks again xxxx