This really bugs me!

It's my policy that students need to advise me before the monthly invoice date if they're going to need to miss a lesson. If they do so they don't have to pay for that week. If they don't advise me before the invoice date then they have to pay but I always attempt to reschedule if I've been given reasonable notice.

I issued an invoice to a parent last week with two dates excluded that they had told me about. Today (payment due day) they rocked up and said "oh, we're also going to be away for the third week" and had crossed out that date and changed the amount due to $60 rather than $90. I tried to explain that it's in my policy (that they signed) that missed lessons have to be advised before the invoice date so they will have to pay the extra $30 but I'm happy to reschedule the lesson when ever it's convenient.

The parent seemed so taken aback and I had to stand there justifying myself and explaining that this is my job. She kept saying "I thought 3 weeks notice was enough" without realising that she actually gave me no notice. I was expecting $90 today and only received $60. I had budgeted for $90 and had no notice that I would receive less. She didn't seem to get it.

It's just so frustrating when something is clearly outlined in my lesson policy and parents clearly haven't taken the time to actually read it before signing.

She agreed to pay in the end (and will drop it off in a few days, hopefully...) but that's not the point. I shouldn't have to stand there being made to feel like the bad guy justifying being paid what I am owed according to a signed agreement.

Sorry....just needed to vent!

(this isn't parent bashing by the way....just inconsiderate (or lazy? or forgetful?) individual bashing )

Nobody can MAKE you feel like a "bad guy". Feeling bad is your response to the situation, and it is up to you to change the way you respond, because you are never going to make the rest of the world behave as you think they "ought" to.

As for the problem itself, all you need do is repeatedly point out the terms and conditions to which the parent had agreed and given their signature.

Whether she thinks that "3 weeks is enough notice" is beside the point, that is not what she agreed to.

In future you might take the time to go over the Ts&Cs with people before they sign them, so that there is no question that they know whjat they are agreeing to. And if you had already done that in this case you have even less reason to feel bad about insisting that the terms are honoured.

Is it worth adding a section onto your invoices that quotes the relevant part of your terms regarding payment. That should make it very clear I would have thought. It's not nice that you didn't get what you expected and had to stand there justifying yourself, but the parent probably did genuinely believe that 3 weeks notice was enough.

Perhaps a quick email to them letting them know of the rearranged date / time (at your preferred time of course!) would help the situation and ensure that the money does get dropped off.

Stop feeling bad about it, as VH2 says it is your reaction and you need to change how you feel about it. Afterall, you're only standing your ground and getting what you expected to take in fees.

When I hand the parent my sheet of "t&cs" I point out the important sections, and pause for them to agree with me so that might be a useful thing to do, just to highlight particularly important points.

Also, I agree that it would be a good idea to add a paragraph on your invoices - that's a good idea, might pinch that one myself.

I agree that if the parent has signed your T and Cs, they shouldn't argue when you enforce them, and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

However... Your way of doing things may be a tad unusual, so perhaps some time after signing up, parents o forget the small print. Adding a reminder is a good idea. Could you put a coy of or T and Cs on the reverse of the invoice?

It is a sad fact of life, that people forget what their obligations are, or they misunderstand them. Yes you do have to be insistent that have to be respected, but I totally agree with VH2 that you need to change how you feel. Yes, I love teaching, but I don't do it for the benefit of my health or charity. I have just been in a similar situation myself, and am planning on sending out rewritten T&Cs to everyone, to make sure that they understand exactly what they mean. If they still don't understand them, or forget, then tough!

I don't think this is just a problem for music teachers. All you can do is put them in as simple terms as possible and keep reinforcing (and enforcing) them too.

Oh i know only too well what you mean. It's infuriating. I find it actually quite unbelievable the nerve of some people. I've taught several lessons where at the end of the lesson the student has suddenly realized they either a) don't have enough money to pay for a block of lessons, or b) have forgotten their money. It's always after i've taught the lesson that they seem to remember this. I wonder if they go into a restaurant, order a meal knowing full well they don't have sufficient money to pay for it, eat it then expect to leave? The only lesson i take a single payment for is the trial lesson, after that if they wish to continue then they pay for a block of five lessons upfront. This is stated clearly in my terms & conditions which i ensure i give to every new student, but yet i still get the odd few handing me a single payment when they return. I think they're only too aware of the situation, but try to get out of paying for more than one. It's such bad manners, and the number of times i too have had to stand there infront of them explaining and justifying myself why i ask for payment in advance. I used to feel awkward about this but no more - if they're cheeky and rude enough to turn up expecting to pay singly then i'm cheeky enough to make my point clear. If they don't like it, they can go elsewhere and find a teacher who either gives free lessons (ha ha) or who charges per lesson. I often think, adults especially, that they don't want to be tied down to having five lessons in a row and just want to turn up when it suits them. That's no use for me as this is my job, the only way i make money, and i have to pay room hire for each lesson i teach in advance and i'm damn sure i'm not being left out of pocket!! Rant over also!

I have had to add a bit to my T&Cs recently because while I had covered notice, late changes and cancellations, I had a period recently when two or three students, with due notice, re-scheduled or cancelled two or three lessons each in a term. I decided that wasn't really working for me but of course was reasonable under the terms of the contract I had with them. I've now capped the number of lessons that can be re-arranged in this way per term (unless it's my fault that the lesson needs to move). Putting a 'no changes after the invoice date' clause would have been another way to achieve a similar control but unfortunately I didn't think of that one!

The difference is that other professions have no problems demanding payment on the agreed terms, and will make your life very difficult if you do not pay as agreed. It seems to be only teachers, and especially private music teachers, that suffer and feel guilty about being assertive in this area.

I've never come across any other business run in the charitable way us teachers operate (and I'm guilty of that too!)

Sorry for the late reply!

Well...I just sent my first bulk "grumpy piano teacher" email!

I had another 3 students rock up on payment day with less money than was invoiced for (or no money at all!). I went through the same spiel as I did with the first. One dad openly admitted to never having read the lesson policy

So I just emailed every single one of my students restating the points of my lesson policy and explaining yet again that this is my job and asking people to respect it as such.

I also thanked those students who have taken the time to read the policy and follow it.

I think I'm very fair in terms of how flexible I am regarding rescheduling lessons. My own piano teacher doesn't give me that flexibility! I pay for 10 lessons at a time and if I miss one, tough titties! Which is fair enough...she's in high demand and it's her job.

Regarding how these people make me feel....I know no one can "make" me feel like the bad guy. I know I was in the right because they had signed an agreement. But it's still frustrating and I shouldn't have to put up with it. It's not hard to read one page of writing before signing it, and it's not hard to refer back to it when you know you're going to be going away.

I don't get my parents to sign a policy, just because it seems to work ok. I only do private teaching but everyone pays upfront for a session of lessons.

This week I've had 3 late payers..'oh I'll pay next week' and I always ask them to pay straight away please. Fees are due today so in the next couple of days...in the post etc. This has now led me to be short for a bill I have to pay. So I will have to 'borrow' the money from somewhere.

To be fair they will pay next week at the latest ( well usually) but it still amazes me there are a few who think it is ok to behave like this.

Most of my parents are great and would be shocked at this behaviour from other parents.

I'm off to the supermarket soon so I will just say at the till...oh, sorry...I'll pay next week..forgot my money!

There is no excuse, but there are a few awkward people out there who let the majority down.

Hi Jellybean,

The "I'll just pay next week" is so unbelievable, isn't it? How would they feel if their workplace said that?! The father who admitted to not having read the policy said that to me today....after trying to get out of paying for 3 lessons on the invoice. Even after saying he'd pay next week he said he'd "have to discuss it with my wife first." What is there to discuss? It's $150 and it's now overdue. Unfortunately I couldn't pursue the issue as I had another student arriving, but they will have received my email.

On a brighter note, a parent (who has always been fantastic) just emailed me back to give me her support and say that she thinks my policy is completely fair and reasonable. It's nice to have some support

It is truly unbelievable how some people operate. They manipulate to get their own way. I cannot believe that father is acting in this way.

So pleased you had a nice email back. What a lovely parent!

Things that work without fail (or weed out the ones who are a constant hassle pretty quickly) are withholding the service, or introducing late payment fees.

1. Ask them for payment AT THE START of the lesson. If they don't have the money, send them to get it (cash machine?), of course without making up for the lost time.

2. If that's not an option, send them a PayPal invoice via e-mail, payable on the same day (all my students have to put their e-mail down in the very first lesson), and pass on the PayPal fees (roundabout 3.5%) to them. I have this in my Terms of Service actually, and I really enforce it. People don't like to pay extra, and they usually make sure they never forget again.

3. If all else fails: Withhold the service and send them home (they still need to pay for that missed lesson the next time of course, that's why I would only recommend this in case of repeat offenders who are close to getting the boot anyway).

Whilst this might seem harsh to some, it is what every other business does. You don't march into a shop, get all your goods/services, and then expect to march out without paying and bringing the money whenever you feel like it.

Don't be passive-aggressive about it and start resenting the student. Do something so it doesn't happen, and stop apologising for it. Stop thinking you "need" the student - that causes dependency and fear to speak out.

For every student who treats you badly, there are at least 5 who value what you do and are far more deserving of that space. Don't lose sleep over it!

My vet used to give a discout for paying on the day, with the full fee due when you got the invoice in the post. A lot of people went for the delayed paying option (it was not a huge discount).
They then changed their procedure - routine was pay on the day, with a charge for delayed payment in the post. They didn't change the actual fees, they just changed the labels on them.
And suddenly nobody wants to pay later! Because they don't want to pay a 'penalty', although they were happy to pay it when they thought it was normal and could have had a discount
(So technically, the change meant the vet got lower income; however, it was paid on the day it was due. The practice decided that money in the bank now was better than a promise of more money later on).

So, if I ever get to any position of having to bill people, I will always have a late payment penalty rather than an ealy payment discount

Except you'll get the hassle of people paying late but the discounted rate. Is easier to defend a loss of discount than an added penalty.

However,
Last time I put my choir subs up I let people stay at the old rate if they paid by a deadline. Unfortunately people just turned up after the deadline with a cheque for the lower amount and I felt too embarrassed to ask for the extra!

Though I am grateful to my own teachers who have been tolerant of those (rare) occasions when I have genuinely forgotten to put the money in my bag. Being a person who doesn't routinely carry my purse/debit card around I can't fix it by going to a cash machine and if my teachers were rigidly enforcing rules it would mean having to forfeit the lesson.

On two occasions I've forgotten to pay my teacher. The first time I offered to go home immediately after my lesson and return with the money. The second time (I actually had the money in my pocket!) I texted an apology and offered to drive over with it in an envelope.

Everyone can forget but "next week" is a bit rude.

One of my students has forgotten a couple of time and lives miles away so I just say "next week is fine, unless you're passing" and they always pop it round the next day.

... and therein lies the problem I used to be same though, you only toughen up over the years. These days, I am really rather blunt about it - and feel all the better for it.

Always good to remind ourselves that it's actually the person forgetting to pay on time who should feel embarrassed, not us for asking.

sbhoa, you are of course right, and I know that honest mistakes happen. I think though it's important to be rather straightforward at the start. New students tend to think that if it's ok once, it will be okay again. There is such a thing as discretion, and no one prevents you from using it with longstanding, usually reliable students.

The question is also: Why do people so often forget their purse when they go for their music lesson, but rarely if they go to the shops (and if they do, would they expect to just walk out without paying?)? I honestly came to believe that there are some people out there who don't perceive this as a problem, and it is up to the teacher to correct that view.

I hate to say it, but I think the problem lies on the teacher's side if they're too soft (been there, got the T-Shirt). It is a fact of life that there are people out there who are inconsiderate or plain rude, but it is OUR mistake if we put up with it and do nothing apart from getting stressed that toughening up might scare them off. So what? Let them go - putting up with any type of behaviour reeks of desperation, and some people are very good at sensing how far they can push you. It's really not worth it.

And in your case: You would still have the chance to pay me on the same day (PayPal), so the lesson would not necessarily be forfeit.

Let's also not forget we are usually talking about a minority of students who behave that way (although just one of them can annoy the h'ell out of you and make you forget about all the lovely ones). Not worth getting stomach ulcers because of them. Be tough, and if they moan about it, they are free to take their business elsewhere.

Well I just lost a student over this.

An incredibly promising young student who is a real pleasure to teach.

I'm very disappointed right now.

Her parents replied to my email saying as they're likely to be away for most holidays they've decided to terminate her lessons now. Um...what?! All they have to do is advise me when they're going to be away and that's absolutely fine! Is it so hard for them to think a couple of weeks in advance and let me know!? Are they seriously going to terminate her lessons because they're incapable of organising themselves?!

It infuriates me when I see parents like this. She clearly loves her lessons and practices really hard. Then over something so simple they will take that away from her. It's awful.

And I know exactly what will happen now...if they continue to get her piano lessons they will find a young inexperienced teacher who will bow to their every whim. In return the poor girl is likely to be taught very poorly and miss out on what could have been an amazing musical experience. (I live in a small city and know most teachers here...there are a lot of appalling teachers whose students can barely read and have atrocious technique after years of study. Any teacher worth learning from will have a policy much like mine).

It's a shame.

Never mind, hopefully you will find a good replacement. They will get the sort of teacher their attitude deserves. You can't pander to them just because she is good - word will spread that you are a soft touch. But hopefully your warning to them included praise for her work ethic and talent and hinted that it would be a shame if she ended up with a less than adequate teacher because of this.

But a word of warning if you really did a mass email. I would be very disappointed and have serious words with a teacher who included me in a mass email if I thought we had a good relationship, was paying on time and had stuck to your conditions (which are too flexible BTW - your problem is that your flexibility is the thin end of the wedge - try the 10 in advance and offer one reschedule solely at your convenience on one day of the holidays set in advance IF you can fit it in but not guaranteed). Even if you did throw in a bit about thanks to the ones that behave themselves.

I would apologise for that to your decent punters if I were you and explain that you were really frustrated with the lousy tiny minority. They may feel like I would but not have the guts to bring it up and one day that will work to your disadvantage.

I feel your pain! I recently moved on a lovely hard working pupil who I'd been teaching for years (a decision, which I'd been putting off having to make for ages) because the parents thought it was fine to repeatedly mess me about. When I addressed the issue, it was clear that they just didn't care. I felt so disrespected that I had no choice but to quit. It's really gutting isn't it!

I think it is more likely that teachers will be taken advantage of, and not always intentionally, if their terms are not completely clear.
I pay for violin lessons on the day by cheque, but this also allows my teacher to cancel or postpone short notice if I have to. This arrangement works and has also allowed me to cancel short notice. If I turned up on the day without payment I would also expect not to be taught.
I pay in advance for 4 piano lessons and if I turned up without paying in this agreement I would expect to not be taught...this arrangement is also fine.
My daughters violin teacher changed her agreement and arranged things so that T and Cs were signed and we had to pay monthly by by standing order. We didn't want to commit to paying like this as we couldn't attend during school holidays so moved on to another teacher. The way she ran things was fine too, just didn't suit us, but suited many other parents as showed the teacher's commitment to lessons.
All are fine. Different teachers/parents will want diffrerent things. Teachers should clearly state their terms and conditions and payment options. This is good business management. If things go wrong teachers should look to themselves and their business management arrangements first ( ...I say this from experience of running a small tutoring business). If a teacher's system is open to being abused it probably will be at some point.

I saw an advert for a local teacher online who specifically stated that they had no T&Cs, I think as a selling point. Isn't that just asking to be taken advantage of? I don't have any written contract with my current teacher but the terms were discussed in the first lesson and I pay for blocks of 4 lessons in advance, I would not expect to have a lesson if I turned up without payment.

A former teacher of mine had a very detailed contract which included things like a list of necessary supplies for the violin (rosin, spare strings etc.) and a minimum of 30 minutes of daily practice expected - one particular phrase I remember is "without regular practice, progress will not be made and the teacher cannot be held responsible for this". I recall that as well as my mum I had to read it and sign it - obviously my mum was responsible for sorting out payment and buying the equipment but I was told that as well as being aware of the rules which were relevant to me I should never sign anything without reading and understanding it, a lesson which has served me well to this day.

Apologies for going slightly off topic but whenever you sign anything in France you have to put "lu et approuve" in front of you signature (ie "read and approved"). The first time I had to do this was when I opened a bank account. The bank manager handed me the form and a pen, so I started reading... He then asked me what I was doing so I said "reading" to which he replied "Just because you have to write you've read it, doesn't mean you have to read it"

Maybe not; some people just seem to do absolutely fine, no problems without any T&Cs (I'd like to know how they manage it, but I know some do!).

I'm not sure how much clearer I could make it. When students first contact me regarding lessons I always arrange things by email (if they've called I get their email address). My first email to them always contains a link to my lesson policy and I clearly ask them to write back and confirm that they agree with the terms of the policy. I don't book a lesson until they've said that.

Then, after the several week trial period I ask them if they're happy to continue with lessons, I hand them the lesson policy in person along with their first invoice and ask them to read over it again, sign it, and bring it back next week.

If they haven't actually read the policy by this point then a) they've lied to me, and b) they're...well...I'll be polite...

3 out of four of our last teachers have had no T+Cs. And the fourth one only vaguely - didn't turn out well! The without T+Cs all bill termly (one in advance, two in arrears). All make up occasional missed lessons (usually missed cos at some music camp etc) at their convenience. I have had a few long trips abroad during the years and all have held our places unpaid. I didnt ever ask for this - that was how the bill was presented however. One teaches in holidays if we want which I really appreciate. One puts in a lot of extra free time - in ensembles, arranging concerts etc but she considers that to be part of the Suzuki way and she is the senior Suzuki teacher in the state. You reap what you sow - we make every effort to fit round her, assiduously support and play in all her things and would rearrange our own commitments to suit her for big events for which we get loads of warning unlike school...... )

If I were an all standards sort of teacher I would probably put up with more irritation from a parent if the child was agreeable and outstanding. That child is an advertisement for my expertise and probably essential for my ensembles and concerts and community events. I do know that this has been one of our teacher's thoughts in the past regarding a challenging family with very dubious paying habits but a wonderful musician child who went on to a conservatory and escaped the family in the process. Teacher was very proud to have been a big part of that and he comes back and he does a star slot for her xmas extravaganza still. Cross between teaching and mentor/community service...

The one with the T+Cs was the most irritating as she didn't actually have a regular slot when we joined her. So she wanted to arrange a time week by week. Which we did but then I assumed this was not part of her normal T+Cs which she had never mentioned or given to me anyway but were on the net. Then she wanted to rearrange after making a time on two occasions and attempting to charge when we were unable to make any of her last minute suggestions. I sacked her pretty promptly. I knew we would never see eye to eye at that point. She was good but not good enough to be paid top whack for doing nothing on those terms and certainly not irreplaceable.

I don't have any formal contract-style Ts and Cs, but find that most people are perfectly reasonable and able to negotiate (I'm not completely dependent on the teaching for my income, and I think this makes alot of difference -if I were, I'd definitely do the formal Ts and Cs). There are occasional problems of course, but then I address them verbally (even with a written agreement, you still have to make it stick). For me it's more about mutual respect than whether someone has a couple of weeks out - it's a gut feeling of whether the situation is working or not. I do issue a guideline booklet to each new pupil (this includes info on cancelation notice required, practise needed, explanation of the ABRSM exam system, reliable retailers to buy materials from etc). Generally speaking, things go well and it's a great job - it has certainly enriched my life!

Surely there is no such thing as "no terms and conditions", though clearly some teachers may well have no written Ts and Cs.

I am used to paying a term in advance, either by cheque or by bank transfer. Payment is due on or before the first lesson of term. Honesty compels me to admit that occasionally I have been a week or two late, but I don't think I've ever gone past the third lesson.

I have read, signed and understand the terms and conditions in both places my children have lessons. In the place we've been going the longest (9 years) they are sent to me with an invoice every term so I have absolutely no excuse for not knowing them!

That's what I do, they're sat right there at the bottom of every invoice so all my students are given them 6 times a year. They haven't signed anything but I feel (perhaps wrongly) that payment of the invoice is acceptance of the terms.

And my terms are missed lessons need to informed of on or before the payment date which is the first lesson of term. This gives at least a week's notice and maybe more to be able to shuffle students around if I need to.

Otherwise all other lessons are payable. I have made exceptions for house moves and hospital visits but not for sickness or parties!!

You feel rightly I believe - in fact just taking the lessons you've scheduled for them could be construed as accepting your terms. I put a tick box on the payment slip each time just to be sure that's understood though - doesn't mean they all read them any more closely!