QUOTE(notaclue @ Jun 21 2012, 09:05 PM)
someone really musical commented after hearing her once, that she is technically good but lacking in musicality, which I could not pick up.
I wouldn't worry either, because although it may, of course, be a bit true, it's also a classic comment thrown at very young performers by slightly jealous elders! And even if it is a bit true, musicality always improves with maturity, but technical skills never appear from thin air.
I'm a parent of a 4-year-old who is a bit behind on language, which holds him up in other activities, but who shows a lot of interest in music. Good music has him glued to it. When he was tiny, singing hypnotised him. I used to sit him on my knee and play organ music on an American organ pump thing (harmoniumalike), and he'd cry if I broke the rhythm and made obvious mistakes. Now he makes noises on any toy instrument he can get hold of, and is enthusiastic with my recorder. On the other hand, he also sticks his fingers in his ears and says "No Papa" if I sing, and sometimes when I play - I thought he'd gone off music until I caught him watching BBC young musician of the year award. The truth is, he expects his music to a professional standard nowadays!
Frankly the big worry I have as a semi-musical parent is that I will fall into the trap of trying to force him to be the sort of musician I would have liked to be. Or maybe I'll go the other way and overcompensate. I'd like him to enjoy good music as it's given me so much fun. I don't want him to be held back by the same sillinesses that happened to me - or miss out on the opportunities I had, for that matter. My wife doesn't think she's musical, but is actually much more so than she thinks. She had no opportunities, but actually has a good singing voice and is an accurate and perceptive critic!
I also worry that if he does get good at music, I'll think I'm more able to help than I really am (overestimating my competence), and become an unhelpful embarrassment.
One advantage is that maybe I'll be able to help him if he gets put off by the same sort of rubbish that I got:
(1) a lot of conceited comparison of "I've got perfect pitch" from the music-set at school; I now know how completely irrelevant this is.
(2) anything less than grade 8 isn't really worth it, and is just kids' stuff anyway
(3) if you don't start at age 4 there's no point
(to give you an idea: when our rather nice music teacher awarded me part-shares in our class music prize (for reliable attendance of choir!), a delegation extracted him from the staff-room to tell him he'd made a mistake!)
Or maybe I will just be subjecting our son to my hang-ups??
But these are all bridges to cross when they happen. Parents always find ways to worry that everything they do with their offspring is wrong! I just reeeeallly sooo want him to enjoy it without all bad side, but that's life...