My dad ahs the idea that i am principal bassoon of the local band. I trey explaining to him the fact that I am not.... but he won't listen

Well, I end up called my "concert band" and "orchestra". It makes life much easier!!

Yeah, I used to get that one as well from my parents such as, "do you need picking up from orchestra

tonight?"

"Erm, nope because I'm going to concert band"

I can sypathise with:

Me - "I play in a band"
Non-musical person (NMP) - "Oh, so who plays the guitar"
Me - "We don't have a guitar in our band"
NMP - "Oh allright. What about vocals?"
Me - "Nope."
NMP - "Bass?"
ME - "NO! We have clarinets flutes trumpets percussion, etc."
NMP - "well your band's well gay."

Thanks.

End of discussion between me and NMP.

Forever.

My main instrument is the recorder and when people ask me what I play and I tell them they just laugh at me. I am studying performance at university at the moment and I am majoring in performance on the recorder!

Just because it sounds common...like they can play it anyway

Next time they suggest that,get your recorder out,show it to them and say "fancy having a goose egg on your head?"

as I was walking home from my concert band (not orchestra) i saw someone i knew (not liked). and he said "look at Nathan there with his er.... er.... rifle!!! HAHAHAHA" . If i had a penney for everytime i had to say "no its a sax" i'd have £4.28

Good for you, Ruthypegs, to do your degree with recorder as main instrument. Unfortunately the recorder is still seen as a child's instrument, only to be played until the child can progress to a "proper" instrument. They don't realize that it takes as much skill to play a recorder well as it does any other woodwind instrument. Many people are also amazed that there are sizes of recorder other than the descant that they have heard played (admittedly often badly) in school.

Not a question, but a statement..... my father-in-law was watching a wonderful gospel singer on TV. I was sitting there mesmerised by her beautiful voice, when all of a sudden he comes out with the comment "It's disgusting seeing people sing, isn't it."

OK, so I don't think I'll be practising my Grade 6 songs in front of him then!



Ambs
x

QUOTE (Saxophonist @ May 6 2005, 06:16 PM)

as I was walking home from my concert band (not orchestra) i saw someone i knew (not liked). and he said "look at anthan there with his er.... er.... rifle!!!

That reminds me of the time my friend and I were waiting for the bus after orchestra. We were sitting in the terminus and a toddler pointed to my friends' french horn and shouted 'mummy, why has she brought her own toilet with her?'. We nearly missed the bus as we were laughing so much.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!! THATS HILARIOUS!!

QUOTE (Amber @ May 6 2005, 07:27 PM)

Not a question, but a statement..... my father-in-law was watching a wonderful gospel singer on TV. I was sitting there mesmerised by her beautiful voice, when all of a sudden he comes out with the comment "It's disgusting seeing people sing, isn't it." OK, so I don't think I'll be practising my Grade 6 songs in front of him then!

Oh dear!! Or practice, but make him sit where he can hear but not see you...

Hehehe! Amber, I bet that was a bit offputting!!!!

Yes, I got asked whether I carried a gun (my flute)

I hate it when people say that it looks like hard work when they haven't even tried the instrument!

QUOTE (jonscott14 @ May 4 2005, 08:32 PM)

worst question ever asked to a trumpet player- How do you get so manys notes with only 3 "buttons"? "bangs his head agaist the desk as the thought of being asked that question comes bck to him"

i get this one too! i have to explain that the first 2 fingers down can be low A, E, A, C#, E, A and C# all the way up.... and even then people dont understand how there can be more than 3 notes... and they wouldnt understand about air pressure so i dont bother explaining!

What bugs me is when people ask what instrunment I play, and when I reply that I'm a singer, they say "Oh, so we might see you on top of the pops then??"

And then when I explain that I sing classical music, they say "Like that Charlotte Church girl?! Are you as good as her??" Grrrrrrrrrr!

it's when they start fighting over you to play in thier ensemble that gets me - especially the ones that just give you a peice of tab -
to work out the chords
then to transpose to a different key
then to play on the piano at 100miles an hour
then they say they want broken chords and arpegiation
then they say they want it on a keyboard
then they tell you to plug it into an amp
then they tell you to turn the volume down

then i say will you help me with my ensemble - UH NO

Reminds me of somehing...Kiss Me??

I hope I'm not treating you like that, Jonny

QUOTE (nicki_flute @ May 7 2005, 06:25 AM)

Yes, I got asked whether I carried a gun (my flute)

A gun would be useful to stop people asking silly questions...

Hahaha!!!! In Maths, there is this boy and he just makes my flute into something really rude. So on Wednesdays when he has my lesson he just shouts out random rude stuff about my flute!

He's just jealous. Ignore him or you could shoot him with your gun.

Hehehe!! My Maths teacher always says to me (I miss Maths quite a lot for lessons) "Are you off to blow!!"

hehehe sounds a bit rude

QUOTE (nicki_flute @ May 8 2005, 07:19 PM)

Hehehe!! My Maths teacher always says to me (I miss Maths quite a lot for lessons) "Are you off to blow!!"

Your maths teacher should know better! Tell him you're going to shooting practice and when you aim improves he will be your first target.

My first target would be my tutor. I am already planning to slap him with a smelly fish (see GCSE thread)!

My Maths teacher is quite nice .

What has the fish done to deserve that?

Good point. I should have thought about the fish first. A plastic one might have to do!

make it wet and sloppy though!!!

hit them whilst you are driving past in a mini!! (keep your clothes on though)

You need to be careful with fish. If you don't look after them properly they'll report you to the RSPCA!

Saxophonist, is your theory exam not 18th June??

QUOTE (noodle @ May 9 2005, 07:10 PM)

Saxophonist, is your theory exam not 18th June??

I think its the 12th but i'll check at my lesson tomorrow.

If you are doing Associated Board, its 18th June @10am unless you aren't in UK.

now you see - fish are good for slapping people over the face with! - so much fun from a fish!

I'd be more inclined to use my flute (in it's case naturally)... though I supose with a wet fish you've less chance of being done for GBH!

...though saying that, did anyone read one of those articles about a lady that recieved an ASBO for "assault by rubarb"...

QUOTE (noodle @ May 9 2005, 09:00 PM)

If you are doing Associated Board, its 18th June @10am unless you aren't in UK.

it is the 18th. I got it wrong

QUOTE (Saxophonist @ May 10 2005, 07:14 PM)

QUOTE (noodle @ May 9 2005, 09:00 PM) If you are doing Associated Board, its 18th June @10am unless you aren't in UK. it is the 18th. I got it wrong

That' swhen I am doing my exam.

A very funny story....

My sister works in a the basement section of a big building, and her company shares it with several others, including a piano shop. The shop has PIANO in the title and has big vans with pictures of PIANOS on them.

A while ago, a bank manager came in to talk to with some people who work with my sister and as he was leaving, he said something like :
"Can I ask you a question? I've always wondered what exactly that piano place sells?"

"Umm, well... they sell pianos....."

QUOTE (nicki_flute @ May 8 2005, 07:40 PM)

I am already planning to slap him with a smelly fish

It's smelly!!!

QUOTE (noodle @ May 9 2005, 04:00 PM)

What has the fish done to deserve that?

.....

Most annoying questions:
1) Now you've started playing the saxophone, have you given up the oboe and piano? erm, no. Why would I???
2) Wow! you play the bassoon/trombone/clarinet! well, actually, strangely enough, this is an oboe...
3) Is playing a brass instrument (saxophone) more difficult than a woodwind instrument? I wouldn't know would I
4) How do you know what the dots on the paper mean? I can read music
Questions 1,2 and 3 have been asked (more than once), by musical people. Quite worrying.

QUOTE (sax_girl @ May 14 2005, 09:39 PM)

Questions 1,2 and 3 have been asked (more than once), by musical people. Quite worrying.

Oh dear.

The funniest thing that ever happened was I playing a solo for a concert at college(on bassoon) I got up and some in the the audience shouted out "it is a flute". I wanted to laugh so loud and shout back but all the teachers were watching

That led to the person up to asking me how hard it was to play the flute with it being soo big!

most stupid questions: how can u play music?
why do you bother?
do u ever get sick of piano? NOOOOOOOOO COS I LIKE IT...

I've just taken up the clarinet again. Someone asked me last week "Aren't you playing it the wrong way round? I thought you were supposed to hold it so it sticks out at the side." I gently explained the difference between a clarinet and a flute!

on trumpet- yeah but you can only play 3 notes(.........cos of the 3 valves) so then i have to go through the extremly tedious process of explaining to them about valve combinations, lip pressure etc etc!!!!!!!!!!!

To a cellist carrying their instrument in a case: "So how long have you been playing guitar?"

I get some rather annoying questions about music as well.

"How can you read 2 lines of music at once?" "By practising it"

"How do you know which note to press at which octave?" "By learning which note is which on the page"

"How can you get both your hands to play at the same time?" "Same as most other instruments...PRACTISE!"

"What do you do in your spare time?" "Practise etc" "That's sad" "Well it's the only way one improves in music"

"Why do you play classical music? it's sad" "Because I like it, just because YOU don't like it doesn't mean I don't like it, does it?

I could go on...but I won't

IrisH - LoonY

I've got one you forgot: when people ask you why you don't think metronomes are useful .

Several things that bugs me...

1) Flutes are for girls "NO, THEY'RE NOT! Look at James Galway, Jean Pierre Rampal, William Bennett etc"

2) Oh I can play the recorder! Its easy! "I'd like to see you do the complete Telemann Sonatas then!"

3) Is that an oboe or clarinet or something? "No...it's a bassoon"

4) Is the double bass just a big violin? "No not at all!"

5) I bet you can't do chopsticks, I can! "I bet you can't do Ravels Le Tombeau de Couperin, I can!" (I myself can't actually play it, but what I can do is a LOT better than freaking "Chopsticks"

6) Is that a tuba? "No, it's a tenor horn" Whats the difference? "Tubas are 10 times bigger!"

7) What are the keys for? "*explanation of different keys and what they do*"

8) Do you not get bored of music? "No which is why I do it all the time..."

9) *Plays a load of rubbish* Bet you can't do that. *Plays Debussy* "Bet YOU can't do THAT!"

10) How does a brass instrument make all the different sounds? "By playing it of course!"

IrisH - LoonY

I tell people who ask me that it is like a big violin, otherwise you get lots of random things instead! At least they then get the concept that it has 4 strings etc.

I usually say "Yeah it's like a big violin, except it plays a lot lower, and it's so big, you can't actually pick it up"