Another week, another new situation for a beginner teacher! I have a pupil on a half term do-I-really-want-to-play try out. She has only been learning since Jan 05, but according to mum she never practices so she doesn't want to pay for lessons. Fair enough. However, the girl (7yrs) comes to every lesson telling me that she likes to play the fife. I asked her to give her mum a 'concert' at the end of the week to show her how well she was doing. The next lesson I asked her how her concert went and she enthusiastically informed me that it went very well, and her Dad, sister and friend listened too and said she was getting better, and mum said if she kept practicing she would get even better, she liked this piece.... etc etc...

So, I thought I should speak to her mum and check the situation. Mum informs me that she hadn't heard her play for weeks, and she refuses to play in front of friends... okay... her mum basically seemed to want to get rid of me and not want her child to learn, full stop. Should I just put it down to a lying child and leave the situation alone? If so, what do I do if the pupil comes to her last lesson saying she wants to carry on?

One pupil of mine came to a lesson today and said that she didn't have her flute (didn't have it last week either or on quite a number of other weeks!) because when her dad was tidying up it got put on top of the wardrobe and nobody could reach it now as dad didn't live with them and mum had a broken wrist and so couldn't stretch.[Have you no chairs in your house I find myself asking this pupil so that you can reach the top of the wardrobe? - apparently they are all downstairs and cannot be moved upstairs to fetch flutes!- next time I say keep your flute inside the wardrobe and not on the top of it.]
This pupil has a loan flute and comes from a disadvantaged background and it seems to me that her mum put lots of obstacles in her way, in ways in which she might improve herself. The school that this pupil attends is having a small concert in July and (surprise!) this pupil cannot come.
I would say to you that if the parents will pay for lessons and the pupil seems keen then you should stay with the lessons for the sake of the pupil.
I have been sending information home with this particular pupil about how to buy a flute as she is in year 6 and will be moving on soon and will need to take her own flute to high school but I am feeling a little despondent about this outcome!

If she's been learning since January, then that's a lot more than half a term - and she's not paying??? You're being far too generous - I've never heard of a teacher offering more than one free trial lesson - don't do it!!! And if the agreement was half a term's free trail, then that time's up, so you can give the whole family their marching orders with a clear conscience.

So please clarify - is the mum paying - or not? If not, the excuse that 'the girl doesn't practise so why should the mum pay' is quite outrageous. You're being taken advantage of. The girl's lies are because she wants to please you, so I wouldn't worry too much about that - most children will lie to avoid a telling off. The main issue here is you giving lessons to a child whose mother doesn't understand the need to pay you, or to make sure her child practises.

Be clear and firm with the mother asap.

Violinia

Sorry not a teacher, but could you ask the pupil to tape the concert? That way it would be obvious if she was playing, and she'd have to keep making excuses if she hadn't done a concert.

also, is she improving in lessons? I'm not a teacher, but teachers I know all say it's really easy to tell when someone hasn't practiced because they don't get better at all. If shes not practicing, it's possible she will grow out of it. I went through a phase of really hating flute practice at around the same length of learning as that, but I decided I did want to practice, am now g8 standard, and its probably the most important thing in my life! (excluding family, friends, pets etc obviously)

QUOTE (annasnellgrove @ May 17 2005, 07:48 PM)

Should I just put it down to a lying child and leave the situation alone? If so, what do I do if the pupil comes to her last lesson saying she wants to carry on?

1. Yes 2. Tell her to talk to her Mum - but don't expect anything.

Liz

Have you considered the other scenario - that it's not the child who's lying?

Just a thought.

Maggie

Maybe you can have a discussion session with the child AND the mother.

You can clarify everything from here.

and eventhough she's not practising, I would still ask her to pay! I mean, you ARE teaching her

QUOTE (maggiemay @ May 17 2005, 11:33 PM)

Have you considered the other scenario - that it's not the child who's lying? Just a thought. Maggie

i am thinking the same......hmm....

Yes, parents can lye too, and often do. But whatever it is, someone is definitely not being truthful. Parents have to realise their role in their child's learning, which is as big as the child's and the teacher's.

Thanks for all your suggestions. Sorry, I obviously wasn't clear about the paying situation, YES they are paying! The girl had a full term of paid-for lessons last term. Then her mum phoned two weeks into the new term saying she wanted her to stop. I have a policy that a parent must provide a half term notice in order to inform waiting pupils etc. So the mum had to pay until half term, and obviously figured her child may as well go to the lessons seeing as she was paying anyway. Am beginning to wonder if I should reconsider that policy, if only to avoid this sort of hassel!

I have indeed wondered about the possibility that the mother is lying. If that is the case then it is very unlikely I am going to be able to get far with this pupil anyway I fear...

When it comes to whether you can tell that she's praticing or not by her improvement, that's a difficult one. If I'm honest the most I can realistically expect from her at the moment is a couple of 5 minute practices (max!). She is a musical girl, and therefore can wing it up to a point... but really the difference between virtually no practice and no practice at all is minimal, expecially when you don't know the pupil very well.

I think I will have a chat with the girl on Monday, try to gauge the situation... being wary of the odd fib here and there! If she still seems keen I will suggest she has a chat with her mum... although on suggesting this before she has replied " but only Dad encourages me, mum always tells me off..." (?!) another lie? The worrying truth? Any of my business?! Then I will leave it and presume that she has stopped lessons. If mum then questions why her lessons have stopped next half term we can take it from there. Good plan??