Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 08:56 PM
Ah, ok, shame about the absence of customers! Instead of self-serve, if will have to be self-eat!
Wobby
Car Expert
Jun 11 2005, 08:57 PM
The secondary subsitutional manager/valet parking guy is back!
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 08:57 PM
And look at that huge Grand Woohoo Deluxe wasting away in the corner. That cost me a fortune, but there are no musicians here to play it! Oh well, at least the Grand Woohoo Deluxe can cook food for you if I recall correctly.
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 08:58 PM
We need customers! We need one of those umm... what d'you call them? Those tunes unique to a company...?
Wobby
uberzoldat
Jun 11 2005, 09:00 PM
Jingle?
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:01 PM
Yeah, that's the word!!!

Any ideas?
Wobby
Car Expert
Jun 11 2005, 09:02 PM
We could invent the 'Car Horn' song!
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:03 PM
Aha, here's the link to the
Grand Woohoo Deluxe! Shame it can only get you curry! I might modify it so you can set the setting to whatever style cuisine you want!
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:07 PM
I think it's got to rhyme with ABRSM Platinum Blend Café, and it's got to have one of those really fast voice-over people who says,
"Advertised car not included. Buy one get one free though mentioned does not apply. The ABRSM Platinum Blend Café© are not liable for any poisonous substances in the food, be them biological (Anthrax), chemical (H2SO4), or physical (chef's hair). All rights reserved."
Wobby
purple dolphin
Jun 11 2005, 09:08 PM
I'm here, but only for about 15 minutes. After that I'm going to bed. I'm shattered from the forest!
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:09 PM
lol! Welcome back purple dolphin!

Want a coffee?
Wobby
uberzoldat
Jun 11 2005, 09:15 PM
At the Platinum Blend Cafe,
There is food and drink everyday.
What you find in the food,
Will end up with us sued,
but we'll still be open anyway!
boom boom.
Saxophonist
Jun 11 2005, 09:19 PM
Can you please explain wobby: why exactly would there be sulphuric acid in the food?
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:21 PM
Lol, don't think we want anything more for the evil union to work on!
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:22 PM
Hydrogen Sulphate in the food? Well, look at the staff list and you'll figure it out!!!
Wobby
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 09:23 PM
I'm here! Goes and plays the old Grand woohoo in the corner. Any requests?
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:24 PM
Ravel's Jeux D'eau!
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:28 PM
...followed by Ondine, then Scarbo, then Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement by Beethoven, Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin, Dr Gradus ad Parnassum and Reflets dans l'eau by Debussy, The Flight of the Bumblebee by Rimsky-Korsakov, and to finish it off, Sorabji's Opus Clavicembalisticum!!!!!
Wobby
purple dolphin
Jun 11 2005, 09:28 PM
QUOTE(Wobby @ Jun 11 2005, 10:09 PM)
lol! Welcome back purple dolphin!

Want a coffee?
WobbyNot too sure about the coffee. Some hot chocolate would be nice though.
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:29 PM
One hot chocolate, coming up! *Serves purple dolphin hot chocolate*
Anything to drink?
Wobby
purple dolphin
Jun 11 2005, 09:32 PM
I managed to burn my tongue on hot chocolate while I was out in the forest. That hurt, but not as much as my finger!
sl123451
Jun 11 2005, 09:32 PM
oddball- chopins andante spinato & Grande Polonaise Brilliante please hehe!!! anyone need serving?
purple dolphin
Jun 11 2005, 09:37 PM
Right. I'm going to bed. See you all tomorrow.
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:43 PM
Good Night!
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:44 PM
Hey, Odball, you there? There are many requests lined up for you!

By the way, want to be part of the staff?
Current Jobs Taken:
- 14 waiters/waitresses; Puff Cat, sl123451, crazy cow and uberzoldat
- 9 chefs; crazy_purple_piano_freak, uberzoldat and Deborah
- 1 head chef; Amber
- 1 bartender; Hulk
- 1 bartender's assistant; purple dolphin
- 2 delicatessen servers; fluteandbassoon
- 21 musicians; Saxophonist, fluteandbassoon, sl123451, clarinetlover, cecilia, Rainbow, Keys and neil.clarinet
- 3 entertainers; Janexxx (and dog Archie), Keys
- 1 head of entertainers and musicians; noodle
- 5 cleaning staff - sl123451's dog Simba
- 1 head of cleaning staff; andante_in_C
- 4 'fake diners' who comment on how lovely the food is; nicki_flute, clarinetlover and maggiemay
- 1 'valet parking guy'; Car Expert
- 2 translators who speak lots of languages; Hulk and sl123451
- 4 security; Saxophonist, noodle, uberzoldat and Hulk
- 2 hairdressers - crazy cow
- 2 manicurists; MattD and crazy cow
- 1 chiropedist (so Matt doesn't have to do feet!); crazy cow
- 1 therapeutical hugger; crazy cow
- 1 reflexologist; noodle
- 1 restaurant critic; sbhoa
- 1 person to get rid of Health and Safety Inspectors!; sax_girl
- 1 advertiser
- 1 accountant; purple dolphin
- 1 substitutional manager - purple dolphin
- 1 secondary substiutional manager; Car Expert
- 1 partri-idge in a pear tree; katyjay
Required Vacancies:
- 8 waiters/waitresses
- 13 musicians
- 6 chefs
- 1 delicatessen server
- 4 cleaning staff
- 1 'fake diner'
- 1 entertainer
- 1 hairdresserWobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:45 PM
Doh, we gave him (or her? Goes over to check quickly on Gender thread) some requests, and he went offline!
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:48 PM
Anyway, off for piano practice!
Goodnight everyone!
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 09:52 PM
(Look at the calender, quite a lot of birthdays in June! davidyko's, andy-piano-flute's, cheeble's and crazy cow's all relatively soon! Apparently, it's someone's birthday today, by the name of ----5555----, not sure who it is though, coz they don't come in the café.)
Wobby
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 09:56 PM
Blimey I'm not that good! Hehe I'll give anything a try.
Yeah, I'll be an entertainer. What does that job entail?
Rainbow
Jun 11 2005, 10:06 PM
Advertiser here and reporting for duty! *hums random jingles under her breath* Please can you add me to the jobs list as a veggie fake diner?
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:10 PM
OK, both jobs accepted! If you don't mind, you're now a musician as well Oddball! Entertainer involves joking, singing and dancing, juggling, general entertaining basically! And musician is obviously a musician. So Rainbow, thought of a jingle yet?!
Current Jobs Taken:
- 14 waiters/waitresses; Puff Cat, sl123451, crazy cow and uberzoldat
- 9 chefs; crazy_purple_piano_freak, uberzoldat and Deborah
- 1 head chef; Amber
- 1 bartender; Hulk
- 1 bartender's assistant; purple dolphin
- 2 delicatessen servers; fluteandbassoon
- 21 musicians; Saxophonist, fluteandbassoon, sl123451, clarinetlover, cecilia, Rainbow, Keys, neil.clarinet, Oddball
- 3 entertainers; Janexxx (and dog Archie), Keys, Oddball
- 1 head of entertainers and musicians; noodle
- 5 cleaning staff - sl123451's dog Simba
- 1 head of cleaning staff; andante_in_C
- 4 'fake diners' who comment on how lovely the food is; nicki_flute, clarinetlover, maggiemay and Rainbow (vegetarian)
- 1 'valet parking guy'; Car Expert
- 2 translators who speak lots of languages; Hulk and sl123451
- 4 security; Saxophonist, noodle, uberzoldat and Hulk
- 2 hairdressers - crazy cow
- 2 manicurists; MattD and crazy cow
- 1 chiropedist (so Matt doesn't have to do feet!); crazy cow
- 1 therapeutical hugger; crazy cow
- 1 reflexologist; noodle
- 1 restaurant critic; sbhoa
- 1 person to get rid of Health and Safety Inspectors!; sax_girl
- 1 advertiser; Rainbow
- 1 accountant; purple dolphin
- 1 substitutional manager - purple dolphin
- 1 secondary substiutional manager; Car Expert
- 1 partri-idge in a pear tree; katyjay
Required Vacancies:
- 8 waiters/waitresses
- 12 musicians
- 6 chefs
- 1 delicatessen server
- 4 cleaning staff
- 1 hairdresserWobby
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:12 PM
Yay! Joking, singing and dancing! What fun!
Why is a bassoon better than an Oboe?
The Bassoon burns for longer.
Hehe.
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:12 PM
Yay! Joking, singing and dancing! What fun!
Why is a bassoon better than an Oboe?
The Bassoon burns for longer.
Hehe.
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:14 PM
Lol, double the jokes I take it?!
Wobby
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:16 PM
Hehe indeed. I have a good source of instrument jokes. E.g:
How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.
Or:
Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
Lol.
Rainbow
Jun 11 2005, 10:22 PM
Thanks Wobby!
To be sung to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
"Chocolate milkshake, cup of tea,
Pizza, burger, chips for three,
The Forum's Cafe's lots of fun,
Come and eat a chocolate bun,
Chocolate milkshake, cup of tea,
let's all come and sit with me"
Don't all scream at once, it's late and I'm really tired.
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:22 PM
I'd think you'd best save the jokes for when we have customers lol!
Wobby
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:23 PM
I will. I have a huge stash.
Very nice rainbow. I can put an accompaniment to that and you could do a solo...How about the interval at quiz night!! Lol.
Rainbow
Jun 11 2005, 10:27 PM
No problem, I need to practise singing in front of people!
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:28 PM
Lol, yes, I think that's a very good idea! Now all we need to do is get it up on television and take over the world!!!

...Or maybe not.
Wobby
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:30 PM
Hmm maybe not.
It's a date! (I need one!)
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:32 PM
Yes, the two entertainers of the evening, Oddball and Rainbow, sounds great, just need to schedule the date of the quiz night!
Wobby
Rainbow
Jun 11 2005, 10:32 PM
I've got some viola jokes (I'm a viola player by the way!)
What is the best recording of a viola concerto?
Music Minus One.
How can you tell when a viola player is at your door?
She can't find the key and she doesn't know when to come in.
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
It's usually still in the case.
And another instrument
How can you tell when the stage is level?
The drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth.
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:34 PM
Ah, I love Viola jokes.
Why don't violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?
It saves time.
Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it?
You could fit in at least one more.
EDIT - The best one so far - How do you keep a violist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Oddball
Jun 11 2005, 10:35 PM
And percussion jokes, they're really funny.
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:38 PM
QUOTE(Rainbow @ Jun 11 2005, 10:32 PM)
I've got some viola jokes (I'm a viola player by the way!)
What is the best recording of a viola concerto?
Music Minus One.
How can you tell when a viola player is at your door?
She can't find the key and she doesn't know when to come in.
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
It's usually still in the case.
And another instrument
How can you tell when the stage is level?
The drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth.
By the way, did you play violin before going onto viola or did you go straight onto viola? Just wondering, because I might get one of the two, and was contemplating taking viola, but is there as much music as violin? There's probably more you can do on violin?
Wobby
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:44 PM
Oh yeah Oddball, don't forget to change your signature so people know you're an Entertainer too! Oh yeah, a requirement of all entertainers is that they can professionally play The Entertainer by Scott Joplin!
Wobby
Saxophonist
Jun 11 2005, 10:45 PM
You can get really cheap violins for about £45 off the normans website (guess why they are cheap). I might get one to have a dabble in.
Saxophonist
Jun 11 2005, 10:46 PM
QUOTE(Wobby @ Jun 11 2005, 11:44 PM)
a requirement of all entertainers is that they can professionally play The Entertainer by Scott Joplin!
WobbyI can play that!!! (well its a duet...) can I be an entertainer too wobby?
Wobby
Jun 11 2005, 10:47 PM
Aha! Another musician! The Grand Woohoo Deluxe is over there! You may view over all the requests a few pages before...
Wobby
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