that would hurt too much, let's just rip them off in a horribly violent fasion while Bob screams in pain!" Bob had his doubts....

We tried to put him to sleep because Steve knew that he wouldn't notice anything that would hurt Bob while he's sleeping...

Car Expert

alas it didn't work, instead we made Bob inhale laughing gas, he was crying but in a freaky sort of way, laughing.

We then got out a...

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massive saw and lied, "this won't hurt a bit"...

We started to cut the tentacles off when...

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Aah! My computer went funny!

Car Expert

Aah! My computer went funny!

Car Expert

Aah! My computer went funny!

Car Expert

Aah! My computer went funny!

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SuperBob popped in to...

a bouncy...

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balloon which was red...

and had some black and white spots on it...

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Back to Bob now, Bob was sreaming his poor head off when...

he saw Lady Bobbington in front of him holding some flowers for him...

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"am i going to die?" he asked her

"No you're not!" she said. ...

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"not yet anyway"...

"There are several stages before death. The first one is to start acting like Charlotte Church after a serious bender in the Cardiff clubs. After that you have the irresistable urge to start hugging people and telling them you love them. Shortly after comes, anger, denial, laughter, grief and depression. Then you jump in the corner. And then you die."

Bob couldn't hear the last sentence. He was singing "Crazy Chick" loudly and out of tune like someone who'd had one two many shandies in Cardiff on a Friday night . . . then he staggered around, threw up on Lady Bobbington's shoes and demanded he get served first "because DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I put this godforsaken town the map, I'm the voice of an angel for pete's sake . . .!"

severl people stared and started to wonder who pete was as he started to hug people

so they...

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backed away slowly and pretended he wasn't there

Somehow, Bob managed to stand up again...

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then he started yelling at people. He pointed a finger (!) at Car Expert. "It's all your ###### fault i curled my hair you forced me to do it!!!" Then he turned to a frightened looking little girl. He glared at her."HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT ME!!!" The little girl promptly burst into tears and ran away

Car Expert decided to chase the girl...

Car Expert

to see if she was alright...until she ran into the girls bathroom where she screamed out that she would end her miserable life by slitting her wrists with a craft knife. At this point Car Expert had no choice but to...

grab the craft knife and throw it out of the window...

Car Expert

"NO!!!" screamed the hysterical girl and proceeded to try to hang herself with her school tie...

and Car Expert grabbed that off her as well and put it in his pocket...

Car Expert

she pulled out a pistol and put it to her head but before Car Expert could do anything she had pulled the trigger.

It seemed the stupid girl had forgotten to load the gun. Car Expert took the firearms and threw that out of the window as well. The girl then pulled out a LOT of paracetamol evidently intent on overdosing...

She swallowed them and magically turned into a penguin again...

Car Expert

It was Bob's long lost barsted child, Tanya!

and Car Expert wondered where Bob was...

Car Expert

he was in a state of denial

Car Expert walked off to investigate, but Tanya was following him...

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"Err...do you mind?" He said uncomfortably

She blinked her massive blue eyes and her magic eyes (think puss in boots) worked their way into his heart

Car Expert carried on walking down ABRSM Road, past the ABRSM petrol station, and past the ABRSM Bank. He had a look in the Diplomas shop...

Car Expert

Tanya was still following him and looked quizzically at a Jewellery shop across the road

Car Expert thought "That got rid of her!" and he decided to hide himself in the corner of the Diplomas shop looking at the DipABRSM syllabus...

Car Expert

Tanya paniced and burst into little penguin squeaks of tears. She was frightened in a world where she didn't know how to cross roads

crazy_purple_piano_freak happened to be walking down ABRSM Road...

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and ran into the Diplomas shop "Yo CE! Is that you penguin out there?"

Car Expert quickly thought of an excuse "No its....its....err...Hellokittys!!!"

"right then" said crazy_purple_piano_freak and promptly put her in a box and mailed Tanya to HK

But Car Expert got no closer to finding Bob. He only wanted to go into the Diploma shop to look for Bob, not to look at diploma syllabuses. He walked out of the shop and...

Car Expert

He went back to the cafe where he found bob in hysterics laughing at a blue crayon

Car Expert found this to be a very strange thing that Bob is doing...

Car Expert

the he realised what was happening as he changed to a state of grief.

I was about to go and have a look at him until...

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he dropped dead. The "Casualty" theme tune blared into the room as the abulance took him tothe hospital where Harry was waiting to treat Bob

and he found that Bob was actually alive...

Car Expert