How many of you "fear" your piano teachers ? I mean ... when you make mistakes & they yell at you . Then you get nervous & you tensed up & your hands start shaking & you make MORE mistakes!( even those you didn't when you played at home) Then they yell some more & you fumble some more ...Oh God ! To talk about enjoyment of music ??!!
It's only my 1st month with this teacher so I'm still adjusting to his teaching & expectation. Boy ! I'm never this TENSED before in my previous years of lesson with so many other teachers !

This sounds truly horrible-a tense nervous atmosphere is not going to help anyone learn-I have taken on adult students in the past whose whole experience of piano lessons is coloured by childhood lessons with scary teachers which is very sad. Does your teacher truly enjoy teaching? If they do, then they should be able to correct mistakes and help you in a positive way and make lessons fun. That's not to say if a student isn't practicing or working well, we can't be firm and say honestly if something isn't good-but there are ways of doing this. I think it all comes down to the fact that if we feel confident and good about what we're doing, we're all more likely to want to do practice even more. This style of teaching you describe sounds very old fashioned and bullying-unfortunately this exists in all walks of life. I reckon a month is long enough to see if things improve, and I'd recommend a change of teacher before your love of music is damaged any more.

Hear hear! Sounds terrible! Don't put up with it!

I would not wait a month, but get out now. This is an unacceptable situation.

Music making should be enjoyable not make you tense and stressed. This teacher isn't doing you any favours at all. I agree what everyone else says, get a new teacher immediately!

Unacceptable in this day and age. My parents did not force me to learn piano and I had no interest in exam grades. But I did have a teacher who got cross and derisive too qickly. I tried to tell her but nothing changed. Then one day I'd had enough so I told her it was time for a new teacher. My parents weren't too happy at having to find one but they did and I got on well enough until I gave up lessons.

I don't think lessons should of necessity be fun but they should be completely constructive. And you need to allow time to form a working relationship. Sometimes talking irons out problems. At worst you could ask if this teacher's aim is to make you too nervous to play or put you off altogether. See what happens.
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Just to agree with everything everyone else has already said. This is a horrifying situation. It's so important to be relaxed and fearless when you play - and it's quite hard enough to do this even when the teacher is calm and supportive. I wonder whether you are in the UK or elsewhere? And whether you have parents who would support you in changing? How did you come across this 'teacher' in the first place? And are you in contact with any of their other students? Please feel free to PM me if you'd like. You should leave immediately, as it's impossible to make progress in this situation. Music is such a wonderful life long journey and adventure - and there are plenty of wonderful supportive and encouraging teachers out there.. Good Luck in finding one.

Have a look here at the Musical Fossils website.

ok...to give the teacher some credit & to make a little confession.... I probably didn't practise as much as I should have ....There was one part i kept fumbling after he has pointed it out for 2 weeks . I either didn't get ALL the notes right, or not in even tempo , or when i got everything right, I didn't get the dynamics right ... sigh... and while i was trembling & wishing a bomb would drop on me & end it all, he said I was just being " dreamy" ! HUH ???!!!

With all my previous teachers I'd never really put in much effort bec it was all TOo "comfortable" but with this new teacher, I think I'm becoming more disciplined. I thought it was good that I get a little push. But apparently, my effort was not good enough for him... Maybe if I try harder, it'll get better . I also do not want to back out yet bec it'll make me look like a scaredy-cat.

Any better suggestion or advice other than calling it quit now?

Whether you can play a passage or not (or have practised or not) is immaterial. This teacher, by yelling at you, is not creating a climate conducive to learning. I stand by my advice.

Totally agree with Andante - no way is yelling at you and making your dread your lessons a good way to teach.

completely agree, Andante and Sarah-Flute- it should be possible to set students goals and make expectations perfectly clear, and push them if they need it- without scaring the living daylights out of them! Shouting is unconstructive and unprofessional as well-it signals a lack of ability to deal with students.

When i am going to most of my lessons, i feel as if i am going into a difficult job interview. My teacher just expects too much from me and she is annoyed by the slightest mistake (technically or even musically). And when she is annoyed, i get nothing but yelling and saying that i haven't practiced.

I can say that the two weekly hours of the lesson are the most stressful hours during the week. I feel just so relieved after the lesson and especially if i did well.

But on the other hand, i feel that this method has made me much more precise in my playing than before. I can interpret music much better now coz i know that if i didn't do that, i will be kicked in the ***.

Hi paulara...hope you're doing fine...

I used to have a piano teacher like yours...I only lasted 2 months with her.I would play perfectly at home,but when I came for lessons,I would get really tense because she used to yell at me!even for something as minor as not playing loud enough!my friend had the same teacher too,and she came close to tears one time...

Here's what I suggest:practise until you're absolutely perfect,then go and play at your lesson,and try to play as best as you can.Then,if he still yells at you even though you think you did OK,you'll know that your playing wasn't the problem.Or try to find other students of his and ask them whether they face the same problem.

Give it a few more lessons.If there's no change,then find a new teacher.In the meantime,continue to love music...don't let one teacher change that.

Hope this helps.Good luck!

You should always feel comfortable enough with your teacher to make mistakes & not feel as though you are going to get yelled at if you don't play a piece correctly. I am fortunate enough to have a fantastic teacher who is actually more like a close friend. I have had her for six years & we get on really well. Even if I do make mistakes she just tells me to carry on & forget about it. I actually get more angry about mistakes than she does but that may be because I'm a complete perfectionist You should never feel scared of your teacher & not look forward to a lesson with because of their attitude which is why I think you should change teachers as soon as you can to stop you from losing confidence in yourself even more than you already have because of this problem.

Lisa xxxx

Thanks princesa ! I think I will try that . I will try to be more "careful" in my practice & hope things will get better. I've been told he's a good teacher albeit terrifying. I think his expectations way surpass mine, that's why ! I thought making a couple of mistakes here & there after only a month of lesson is perfectly Ok but NOT to him it seems !

Yes ! I will continue to love music , FOREVER !!

*nods* please please do not stay with this teacher if you even begin to suspect that you're losing the fun and joy of music because of the yelling.

I think if a teacher nowadays yelled at me, I would yell back.

Something else I forgot to mention is the whole area of physical tension. If you're tense and worried when you're playing, you're 10 times more likely to make a mistake. The muscles tense up and won't do their job correctly. Also it's vital you feel comfortable asking questions about anything that's gone wrong-this very old fashioned style of teaching does not usually encourage this.

I stopped playing violin in school because of a teacher like that. I think PSV gave good advice, I would think about changing if you feel you're not making any improvement in your playing because of his teaching methods. It works for some people, I guess.

There is no excuse for this kind of behaviour. The job of a teacher is to encourage and to nurture. Find a different teacher now.

Steve

*nods* I was put off piano for 13 years because of a teacher who was negative - and that wasn't yelling or anything. That was just always being negative. Don't let it happen to you.

Yes,you should always feel comfortable with your teacher...or else how on earth are you supposed to learn properly?it's difficult to play if a "ferocious lion" is right next to you...

i would tend to agree. You cannot go to lessons on a knifeedge worrying about being shouted at.

If your going to be worried about something then worry about how good your music is hehe

I didn't notice this first time I read this thread.

Quite right, Sarah. I would too.

i used to be soo scared of mine even though she was perfectly nice! Now i've changed and i can talk to mine about anything!

Then why are you scared if she's so nice?

she was one of those people who was perfectly nice to you but not laid back at all and probably doesnt realise that she's scary!

I was taught by a fair few of these as a student, which feels like 1,000 years ago.

Now, as a teacher, the first thing I do in a lesson is listen to everything a student has prepared (or was supposed to prepare ). I do so without interruption or comment until the end of the performance of an individual piece (good practise for exams, concerts etc, not cruelty). Pupils tell me that knowing they are going to have to 'play through' however badly is the scariest thing when they have not done enough practise; shouting at them is unnecessary, even were I prepared to do it, which I am not.

Am I regarded as terrifying by former students, do you think?

Hope not, but who knows.

I think it's almost impossible for us to know how we appear to other people, especially to much smaller people and in a lesson situation !

he shouldnt shout whether you were playing it right of not you cannot help mistakes. If he could telly you hadnt practised he could of said i dont think you have practised but he cant shout or be rude.

i really like my teacher at the moment, as with my old teacher she was young very nice but didnt really teach me alot, my teahcer at the moment is nice but still has helped alot wid my piano playing!

As a teacher I would say I'm sometimes too patient! I don't get mad at pupils, even when they don't practise - although just maybe occasionally I should. There's only one pupil who seriously winds me up and I find it nigh on impossible to be patient with her as over the last 2 years she has forgotten her books/not done her practice week in/week out/brought other books/whined......./given excuse after excuse/told me lies/whined.......... She's on probation next term - if she doesn't improve she's off my timetable. (Shows my patience - I rang her mum to say I felt she should stop, but managed to get myself talked round into giving her one last chance. Mug!) Generally though I would say I'm extremely soft!

There is my friend's teacher who usually angry with him when he didn't prepare enough, but his teacher didn't shout at him, but he always said something that make my friend down n feel very sorry about that!
But, actually my friend like his teacher's teaching for overall, but not the way he said when my friend didn't well prepare.
The worst thing, my friend usually tell me about his stressful lesson during we are studying at school n he can't consentrate well for the school, sometimes he also cry...
I don't know, why should teacher do this kind of thing? what are you doing when your student are not well prepare for the lesson (for teacher in this forums)/???

My teacher has never got angry at me. But then, I am the perfect student...

...and so modest!

Chocolatedog, we have argued with each other on these forums before. We will do so again. However:

There is no such thing as 'too patient'.

Steve

No - probably not, but I do get so frustrated privately knowing what my pupils should be capable of, if only they'd practise the way I tell them! And I've had a pupil now for 6 years who is STILL struggling with grade 1 level pieces!!! And when I finally pluck up the courage to tell the parents I think he should maybe stop, he pre-empts me by saying he's decided to do standard grade music (Scottich equivalent of GCSE) and will need to reach grade 3 in 18 months!!!!!!!!!!! *SCREAM!!!!!*

Now THAT's what I call too patient!!!!!!!!

By the way, when did we argue?? I thought it was a lively discussion!

I sympathise. I have one who's been learning with me for 4 years. He is delightful - a quiet, warm-hearted boy, and although I'm not naturally the most patient person around, I find it quite difficult to be a bit tough with this child. He does work - sometimes - but goes through long patches when he seems unable to work independently and needs me to hold his hand each week and correct what he's tried to do. He passed grade one well over two years ago and although we are attempting gr2 pieces he's only had partial success with one of them so far. Un-typically, he's worked on the scales and knows them quite well.

But 6 years - that's really frustrating.

Yes, we all get those from time to time , so here is a little more teacher to teacher solidarity and support. On your behalf *SCREAM!!!!!*

Thanks!

I would be more than happy to trade!
My piano/organ teacher is wonderful, but she doesn't challenge me as much as I would like to be challenged.

[COLOR=blue]my friend had piano lesson when she was 4 years old..she dropped after few classes? why?
her teacher used teh ruler to bit on her little finger when a every single note was played wrongly

I've heard of that kind of teaching from my adult pupils who are now in their 50's and 60's but it's sad to hear there are still teachers who do this - to ANY pupil but even more so to someone as young as 4! That makes me very upset for your friend.

I think that would be illegal in this country now.
I'm sorry your friend was treated like that.

My teacher's never got angry at me at all. She did look quite depressed after I played one piece through absolutely terribly but that was a long time ago. And if (when?) I do no practice (like most of last year ), she didn't really mind and we just did some duets instead. I can't really imagine having a teacher who shouted or hit you. Though my father apparently did, failed his Grade 1 and gave up so maybe it is a generation thing.

I loved my piano teacher, but she was very hardworkign and the year I was repeating grade eight, i was rather stressed and ended up crying in many lessons because she was a complete perfectionist and while nice about it, just very ... hard on me that year, or perhaps i was over sensitivised - I grew to dread those lessons though simply because I was so easily upset Horrible crying in front of a teacher.

Well - embarrassing for you maybe. But people cry in lessons for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes music brings out - emotions and things.

I had a student last year who had been in this country for only a short time and had really enjoyed lessons. Fortunately we'd decided to seize the opportunity and have a go at grade 5 ( her first exam), results were just in when the family were rather suddenly told they had to return home (job).

At the last lesson we played some duets together and - well she found it an emotional time. I think she was quite sorry to be leaving. I guess as a teacher you get used to the fact that students have other things going on and that there are many reasons why they may be a bit stressed, fragile, whatever.

So true maggie.
Although I've managed not to embarrass myself so far I find that sometimes in my lessons at the moment small things will remind me of my previous teacher who died at the end of April. It's still a bit close I suppose and there are things which remind me of him out of the blue. Mostly the memories make me smile but sometimes it hurts a little.

Lucky I haven't teenage hormones to cope with as well....

my teacher never yells at me, even when i play really badly.......maybe i have a sense of guilt, i always feel very nervous before and during my piano lessons, that i'd never had in my violin lessons. strange??