I was in a supermarket earlier and overheard a conversation between a man and his 14 -15 year old son who were looking at torches. They eventually chose one and the boy was given a torch by his dad, who told him to 'make sure you only use it at night!!'

Now I know where I've been going wrong...............

Reminds me of the story of the Solar Powered torch!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA, I remember the solar powered torch. They still sell it at the garden centre near my house.

Hehe, it took me a while to get what was so funny about a solar powered torch. (and btw, we call them flash lights) I must be getting tired. But yeah, that is funny!

Underwater hairdryers...?

???

My Dad told me when I was 10 that if I blowdried my hair before swimming (even though it was dry) I wouldn't have to when I came out, and I believed him! I'm so gullable

The best stickers are the ones which say "Do not operate this hairdryer while asleep!"

Or the raincoat with the label "dry-clean"

The bag of nuts with the warning: "This product may contain nuts"....

shocking

Technically peanuts are a bean ....

However if you have a nut allergy they have the same effect as nuts !!

My favorite was being ask to go to the hardware store by my dad to go and buy some sky hooks ....

When I got there the man told me to stand in the corner for a long wait.

I wouldnt have minded but I stood there for 5 minutes before i realised, it was a good job I was only 10 and didnt know any swear words. I was fuming when I got home.

The following week my dad and I were in the shop and he asked me to go to the counter and ask if they had any left handed trowels. This time I was ready for him and let hime know what I thought of his stupid tricks. The man behind the counter came over and much to my surprised gave my dad a LEFT handed trowel (apparently there is a cutting bevel on the opposite side to right handed trowels). My dad didnt stop laughing all the way home and of course stopped everyone on the way home to tell them. I felt so small.

I miss my childhood sometimes!

the other one I remember was to send the new guy for a tin of striped paint ...

LOL ... please dont my sides are aching ...... simple things I suppose. Getting all nostalgic (sp?) now!

Waterproof watches....lol has anyone else ever tried swimming with them?

Methink waterproof watches aren't for swimming. What you need is a water resistant watch.
Big difference...

lmao oh these are all brilliant

Typical comments to stop yourself being sued

This product is hot - coffee
This product is dangerous - handgun

And my sister's dance mat came with a list of absolutely awful translations of Japanese safety warnings, my favourite being "Don't pave the cushion". So we didn't.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's when I need it most).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???.....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????....)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness..."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Sometimes hair-dryers come with, 'warning:- Do not use in the bathtub'

In burger king they print an ever so useful warning of "warning - contents may be hot" on the hot drinks cups. Do people think otherwise?
















Ok I have nothing better to do than read the side of my coffee cup whilst waiting for people.

Very funny Sbhoa!!





My doctor gave me Zopiclone and it said on the box 'may cause drowsiness'. Its a sleeping tablet, it should be certain to cause drowsiness.

When my Nan had a cateract operation someone told me they done them in the dark!!!
And me being all of 22 believed them.

On microwaves it says: Danger, do not dry pet in device.
Someone blew up a dog once...

eewww yuck

my brother put my cat in the tumble dryer once.... he cried, the cat that is

Poor cat.I know a cat called blueburry that had an adventure in the washing machine, (never let a cat sleep in the washing machine), and survived!

Lol....
My daughter bought me one of those wheat bags for christmas... it is a really cute dog one. She said the thought of putting the dog in the microwave amused her....

ahh the cat was fine. he was only in for a very short time. my brother took him out after I'd screamed at him a bit.

eewww!!! poor cat!!! my friend's dad accidentally put a gecko in the toaster on holiday!!!??

We didn't actually put ours in the dryer. Squeak was a tiny marmalade kitten (and yes, he did have a sister, and her name was .... sorry) who climbed in on his own account. Goodness knows how. What we could see was a kitten looking out disconsolately and calling soundlessly for help.

Squeak lived to a ripe old age

Poor wee thing! I wonder how many lives it lost in the tumble drier? My cat keeps climbing into the dishwasher, one of these days he'll get a B wash at 60 degrees....

We have a sticker in our car, explaining that due to the airbag it is dangerous to put a rear facing infant in the drivers seat!

Hmmm... the watchmaker told me it's the other way round! Waterproof is for swimming, water-resistant, you can take with you in the washbasin for the dishes and the shower!

sbhoa,
my eyes can't stop crying
and my sides aching
no doubt a result of your joking
sbhoa
the nytol joke was so funny
as if it wouldn't make you drowsy!

Thats really funny too. Sometimes I wonder who writes these instructions and who exactly for.

I thought water resistant meant splash - proof, but I may be wrong.

Here is a story I read which shows why there are sometimes silly instructions on things.

A man (In the states as you might guess) succesfully sued for compensation following a crash in his winnebago. He had set the cruise control before going in the back to make a cup of tea!
Apparently they now come with instructions NOT to leave the car to drive itself.

But noodle you ARE right! That's exactly what the professional told me - you can splash about with it in the shower or a basin but not "have it immersed for long time as in a pool, the sea or a bath"! My old Tag H is still going strong - I don't swim!!!

True, true. Those silly instructions have a reason behind them. McDonalds lost a case when a customer burnt his/her lips on a HOT apple pie. Hence the "HOT" warning on hot drinks!
Oh my! Oh my,
Just suddenly realise!
What must have happened to some DIY
Chain-saw wielding Swedish guy!

Well there was once a man (also in the States) who thought he had contact lenses in but he didn't. When he went to the hospital later complaining of sore eyes, the doctor told him he'd been attempting to pull out his cornea... OUCH!!!

So thats why my favourite watch drowned in a jacuzzi!! The watch I use for swimming has 10ATM on it - apparently its ok for swimming, showering, and shallow diving but not scuba diving. My Omega survives the odd splash when I wash my hands but thats all - I'm not taking any chances with it!

dare I say sounds like natural selection to me !

A crash in his what???????????

winnebago, mobile home on wheels. quite common in America for road trips!

Oh. Thanks for that. I don't know much about American transport.

It does rather...

Don't want to start an argument but I regret to tell you that your watchmaker is wrong.
All diver's watches are marked water-resistant...

Yes, I know. That was why I asked the question in the first place! They are thus marked for legal reasons. Not to be sued. Like a packet of cereal with no nuts are marked - This packet may contain nuts! I am a lawyer and I was asking a legal question. Sorry, I ENJOY having the last laugh!

Maybe you can now consider sueing the watch-maker for wrong labelling!

Ermm how do you say it>? Codswollop? Yes I think thats it