We often hear people who don't understand why we bother to learn an instrument in later life as apposed to childhood. Or maybe there are those who already play but look down upon adults learnig an instrument from scratch.

But what about those who are supportive, whose who play themselves from childhood and yet think what we are doing is great?

Before I had decided to learn the violin and was still thinking about it, I'd often heard about the negative comments adult learner may recieve and yet, personally I haven't found this to be the case at all, but maybe I'm just lucky with the people I meet and know.

I'm writing this today because after having a chat with my neighbour who's just come back from a holiday, I feel so positive about my decision to learn the violin!!!
He's a professional conductor/music director and therefore perhaps more likely than normal to look down upon adult learners, and yet he is NOT, he's so supportive about it, willing to help if I need it and so on.

I just thought I'd write this to show that some people can be very supportive regardless of their position.
Do other people experience a similar kind of support, from friends, family or neighbours (and yes I don't think my neighbour can hear me play)? Or do they just think your weird? Just curious

Kraz

Good for you Kraz, your lucky to have such a knowledgeble neighbor who has offered to help. I don't know anyone who plays the piano or is learning to play.

Most people I know have been supportive, what drives me crazy is being asked "what can you play", one person wanted to know if I was ready to give a recital and said tongue in cheek, sure Carnigie Hall is holding the curtain for me.

I've only been taking lessons for about 4-5 yrs. and am just now beginning to really get some understanding of fingering, sight-reading etc. I don't know of anyone who can perform Swan Lake in such a short period of time, they would be at the same stage as I am at this point - sure you can learn steps but that's about it. We all know that it takes practice, practice and more practice. But, isn't it exciting to be learning something we've always dreamed of doing?

Hi Kraz,

I think if you read some of my postings and threads on here, you'll find me a very supportive person - even though I was one of those who's played an instrument since childhood.

Having taken up other instruments since then (as an adult) I know all about the prejudices you speak of. Even though I am a qualified and experienced professional musician, there are teachers who have turned me down for lessons on another instrument simply because I am an adult

Apart from the unfairness in their attitude, what sort of image does it give to them and the profession they are in - one that is stuck-up and only has time for the youngsters? Adults often get enough of this treatment in everyday life, without it running into their intended hobby or interests.

I remember when i was looking for another teacher, i had been playing for about 5 months but the teacher i had at the time was very unreliable she often wouldn't even be there when i turned up for a lesson! Anyway i was ringing round looking for a teacher and one lady i asked was very posh and snobby and said "Oh, i don't think so, i teach a couple of adults but they don't come all the time. She sounded like she really couldn't be bothered with me and was only interested in teaching children. I was only 21 at the time so not exactly old!

Shortly after i found a lovely teacher who i am still with now. She is very supportive and i have had lots of exam success with her.

Yes, I think the biggest problem that we adults can encounter is associated with those, potential teachers included, who will not take us seriously and think we are just doing it to dabble, as a kind of hobby to keep us off the streets, or to be able to 'play a few tunes' , or carols to the family at Christmas

Hang on to your lovely teacher! She's worth her weight in gold!

Teachers' attitudes can do so much harm, can't they?
I had an enquiry from an adult student a few months ago. She described herself as a beginner - I almost didn't take her on, not because I wasn't interested but because of timetabling problems.

Then it turned out that she'd had a bad experience with a teacher who'd "auditioned" her, looked down her nose rather and offered intermittent lessons in a rather half-hearted way. She sounded so defeated about it that I felt I had to at least see her and make some encouraging noises, even if I couldn't offer her a permanent slot.

It turned out that she's not a beginner, but is playing pieces of around grade 3-4 level. She works. She thinks she's slow (she isn't). She's passionately keen. Despite difficulties with fitting in lessons outside working hours, I can't see why anyone would want to turn her down.

I suppose my wife would have to top the list she lets me have lessons despite the financial outlay.

My daughters who like the fact daddy is learning like them. They never fail to take the mickey but I love it! Helps boost their confidence and brings me a little closer to their world. Its something else we can share!

Thirdly my teacher. Although I pay her for lessons she is so understanding and motivating it unbelievable. She has other adults at all standards so I know I have fallen on my feet. She even organises little concerts for all her pupils to attend and play in! Ive done one and loved it even if it was very simple!

Finally ME!

I don't think music professionals are more likely to look down on adult learners, if anything they are more likely to be encouraging as they know how hard it is to learn a new skill around adult responsibilities.



When you encounter people like this it is more likely that they themselves are nervous of teaching adults. It is a different dynamic and adults can want very different goals from the lesson, there are some who just want to be able to bash out auld lang syne at christmas, there are a few who want the exam route (not many in my experience but that could just be this area) and those who want to study seriously but just for fun.

I have the greatest respect for anyone who learns any new skill as an adult.

Another teacher worth her weight in gold!

Aww - how kind. Thank you.

Having just spent a week eating Greek food, I take it then that I'm worth a bit more this week than I was last ???

I think also the pros don't suffer - usually - from the need to put people down to make themselves look better - they know they are good! Whereas sometimes people who are just further up the amateur scale (if you see what I mean) can be the party poopers and discouragers.




I agree with SP!

Well I did have one prospective teacher say to me via email that perhaps I should join a place thats teaches in groups, but that wasn't what I wanted to do, at least not in the beginning. I thought/think that she suggestion was an expression of her reluctance to take me on, maybe, maybe not.

My teacher now is great (different one from above), we get along well and she has absolutly no problems with teaching adults, she in fact say's she prefers them.
My neighbour was the first person I went to for help with my violin (we didn't know each other before this, as I'd recently moved in and only knew he was a 'musician') about the bow not making a sound and slipping (simple case of not having enough rosin on). He even wants at some point me to give him a recital to see how I'm getting along, but I'm reluctant to do this just yet!!!!!!!

I think though the person who is most impressed with my decision to learn the violin is my brother. He plays Guitar, bass guitar, drums and keyboard but cannot read music, and the fact that I'm learning to read music while playing is soooo impressive for him, he can't even imagine learning this (I know he can do it if he tried though).

Kraz

I have alays admired my friends husband, who has always played in bands and could pick up any instrument and play it to perfection. Until one day she told me he was taking piano lessons (I was too - grade 3 at the time). I asked why - as he was clearly an accomplished musician. It turned out, he could only play by ear -couldn't read music at all!
In his Grade one exam, he started to play his first piece and was stopped by the examiner - who suggested he opened his music score! He simply couldn't stop playing by ear and his brain refused to read music!! He passed - but only just! How good did I feltl after all those years!!


Reverting back to subject - my teacher is the best! A Music Graduate, teaching voice and piano full time, but who still takes lessons from her old Uni Prof.

Last Christmas, my teacher asked me if I would be interested in playing a recital - her teacher organises one each year for her adult students. Best thing I have ever done! She specialises in adult students, and id clearly is a rewarding experience for her - so - any piano teachers out there- forget the kids (although I have three) and look to adults for a rewarding teaching experience!

The sad thing is for some teachers is that they can (not always) find their adult students harder to pin down and are more likely to cancel than very young pupils who have parent taking them. Emotionally the teacher will normally be sympathetic but after a while, it becomes frustrating and a stress financially. The only pupils I have had real problems with have been flighty adults which is unfair because there are so many committed, hardworking adult learners who respect their teacher's abilities and the subject.

Having said that, I have some terrific adult learners, one a complete beginner another taking it up again after a 10 year break. I enjoy working with them immensely!

You're right - adults sometimes can't appreciate that we need to make something logical out of our working week. One of my weekly adults cancelled (permanently) this week because of a ..... non-meeting of minds on this. I'd allowed two weeks holiday without charge during September and changed day to help out with child-care problems - but the flexibility was not enough.

Another point that can be difficult to get across - a student who wants fortnightly lessons can be tricky to fit in if they can only come at a time of day when most other pupils are weekly ones. I'm thinking of after-school / after work times: I often have a waiting list for these, and there's then less flexibility than, say, during the day. If I have two who want alternate weeks that can work ok, but otherwise, much as I might want to teach an older student who is working, it might mean that I'm agreeing to every other week for him, and at the same time turning down another who wants weekly lessons - which is hard to justify.

Please don't think that all adults who can't guarantee to do a regular lesson time are flighty. Some of us are just unable to be certain of when/if we'll be working .

And (based on the experience of three of my teachers) some teachers find it easier to fit pupils round their performing or examining commitments if the student has a more flexible approach to lesson times.

I end up living by my diary for all my music lessons - and everything else I do.


Cheers

Katyjay

I'm always more flexible with my adult students than with my teenaged ones. One of my current adults has a weekly lesson in the evening and pays half-termly in advance. The other one comes early afternoons, fortnightly, but pays by the lesson. She sometimes rings up on a Monday morning to cancel that day's lesson, but I allow her much more leeway as she's retired and has a newly-retired husband to accommodate as well.