I'm sure we all try to play musically, does anyone else ever worry that they don't manage it however hard they try??!

I've been reading the assessment criteria for grade 6... I would so love to get distinction in this exam (although part of me would just love to pass, the bigger part of me WANTS the distinction!):

Musically authoritative playing.... instinctive and communicative sense of performance...

I can generally hear when this is there or lacking in others' performances... but find it terribly hard to judge my own.

Is this just me, or do you think it's harder to have an unbiased (either in a positive or negative way) opinion of one's own playing?

I guess also somewhat linked with the imposter's syndrome Andante posted about some while ago...

Is it just me?

Absolutely not just you. I often feel like I'm just playing whats on the page, and not putting any musicality into it.

Yes, however hard I try, I never seem to be able to put musicality in, and in my lesson I often get shyer and don't put the dynamics and things in. She said today that I perform really shyly *erghh*

On the one hand I'm sorry that you guys have the same worries, on the other... well I'm kinda grateful to know I'm not the only one!

I try to play musically, but I find it a lot easier on say sax than piano. Maybe that's why I get higher marks for sax pieces than piano.

I think this is where teachers come into the equation - they can listen objectively to one's playing and assess how musical it is when one cannot tell by oneself.

The problem is that one never thinks one is 'interpreting' as one plays how it comes naturally to oneself. The only way I've found to be able to tell I'm playing with interpretation is listen to another recording and realise that I'm not just doing what they are - the difference is therefore my interpretation, therefore it exists .

Or I've just misread a note .

Sarah - you play nicely from what I've heard, I don't think you need to worry about being an imposter .

I tend to worry that I'm just playing things wrong

(and thanks )

edit: (that's one of the reasons I tend NOT to listen to recordings of pieces once I feel I've "got" them... don't want to confuse myself *lol* and don't generally have the confidence to think "well my version's just as good!")

edit 2: I *tend* to be much harder on myself than on others - so if they play it differently to me I again worry that *I* am wrong...

Maybe it's just a confidence thing well I guess with practice I'll hope to become more "musically authoritative" and have a more "instinctive sense of performance..." (can but hope!)

if your friends play it differently than you it's a sign of varying interpretations, neither of you are wrong (save blatant mistakes of course ). basically there's little way you can tell about your own musicality without listening to your own recording. or listen to someone else's and think "I'd have done that differently" (within reason ) or if when you play, people around you are in any way intrigued, not just out of politeness but if people actually enjoy listening to you, then you're probably a cut above the rest and though i've never heard you, i'm sure you are

I think it's really important to study the music you're playing - by which I mean read the score, hear it in your head, understand the music, and feel from inside yourself how you'd like it to sound, and up to a point how you think the composer meant it to be played - if you can possibly know this, that is! I also think one can worry too much about what the composer wanted; how can we ever know?

Meaning - read through the music, play through it, see what ideas spring to mind re how to express it - what to communicate through it.

Listen to a few recordings of it too, maybe, but more than one interpretation if at all possible.

Get completely on top of it technically so you can stop worrying about the technical aspects and devote yourself to the expressive side. Try different techniques to quieten your mind (Inner Game of Music stuff if necc), and see what ideas come up.

The world is your oyster!

Violinia

I think having a recorder is one of the best teacher you can have.

What i do is that i will record down my playing, and then i'll listen to them. Then, i will compare it with CD recordings of professional or legendary musicians and find out how much more lacking in musicality i was in my playing and try to improve on them. It will be better if you can listen to recordings of a variety of professional musicians playing that same piece of music rather than always listen to the same one. Because even the best soloists may not interpret every music they play in the best possible way.

It probably is. I can put so much more musicality into a piece of music at home, but when I am in the lesson, it disappears.

Hmmm....that phrase "musically authoritative" just about sums up for me what's lacking in my playing....when I hear my teacher play I become very frustrated about the "something" I'm not putting into my playing...

I can hear that my playing is lacking but find it terribly difficult to express what I mean to express - is that lack of muscle control, general inexperience, too much concentration on the technical side of playing, or what?

The thing is, like many people, I shrink when playing in front of my teacher, but in the one exam I've taken, although very nervous, I felt I gave a more confident performance and played with more flair than usual - a question of rising to the occasion, I suppose...

That's my problem....I know what I want to do....just can't do it (yet!!!)

same

I've often found that if I'm stuck about how to play a certain phrase, singing it gives me the answer. It's because I am not having to think about my embouchure, or whether my fingers are moving together, but can just concentrate on the musical aspects.

Does anyone else find that it depends what instrument you're playing as to how musically it comes across? With piano pieces I find it much easier to convey expression & to play with conviction. Conversely with flute music it seems so much harder to make a piece of music really sing, even if I can hear in my head how I want it to sound.
I really must post some more in the imposter thread because, 3 months on from when that thread started, a Kodaly week, an exam & a forum concert down the line, I still feel like an imposter

Yes, Jen - exactly! I know what I'm after, but can't (yet!?!?!?) do it myself... or I don't think I can...

Andrea: I'm the opposite way round, but I know what you mean - I find it really hard to play really musically on the piano. Again, I know what I'm after (and in some ways I can hear what's right or wrong more easily than I can on the flute) but my fingers aren't well trained and practised enough to reproduce what I'm after so much of the time, even with simple pieces.