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How do you feel after your lesson?


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#1 Bleamy

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 19:54

I was looking forward the lesson so much and I feel it was a complete disaster.

Most of my pieces went with errors, once when the teacher looked at me I completely lost the plot. I couldn't carry on at all. It took me 2-3 minutes to recover. I feel I knew the pieces so much better than I played them.

I got really upset. I might have been rude to my lovely teacher I said something like "you are criticising me during whole lesson" and then she said yes " I am". I still don't know how could I say something like that. This is her job after all. And I said other things to her as well. I feel awful and childish .

Many times I get upset after lessons but normally I keep my mouth shut.
I am worried she might not want to teach me anymore.

I am trying to work extra hard for next time to make the pieces 200% secure, but piano playing is really hard so it cannot be guaranteed. 

What are your feelings after lesson? Is everybody blissfully happy? 


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#2 violinlove

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 20:29

Just apologize to her the next time you see her if you do think you were rude to her.

Did you start this year in February? If so you are still a beginner and should cut yourself some slack.

It is difficult to play the piano and there are lots of hurdles to get over. Just keep going.


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#3 corenfa

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 21:17

I was looking forward the lesson so much and I feel it was a complete disaster.

Most of my pieces went with errors, once when the teacher looked at me I completely lost the plot. I couldn't carry on at all. It took me 2-3 minutes to recover. I feel I knew the pieces so much better than I played them.

I got really upset. I might have been rude to my lovely teacher I said something like "you are criticising me during whole lesson" and then she said yes " I am". I still don't know how could I say something like that. This is her job after all. And I said other things to her as well. I feel awful and childish .

Many times I get upset after lessons but normally I keep my mouth shut.
I am worried she might not want to teach me anymore.

I am trying to work extra hard for next time to make the pieces 200% secure, but piano playing is really hard so it cannot be guaranteed. 

What are your feelings after lesson? Is everybody blissfully happy? 

 

No. Some lessons I get totally crucified. Sometimes I talk back. Sometimes she talks back. The nature of lessons is that sometimes things go well and sometimes they do not. Us adult learners have so many things going on in our non-musical lives that it can be difficult to switch off from "real world" mode and go into piano mode.

 

My teacher and I have a good relationship as we have worked together for many years, and so no matter what happens during a lesson we are always back to normal by the next week. I know the things that she cannot abide which are, not at least attempting to do as she asks, and arguing for the sake of arguing. I may be a failure at executing what she asks for, but she knows that I will try and if I don't do it it is not because I am being defiant or contrary on purpose. 


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#4 Clarimoo

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 21:38

No. Well sometimes I am blissfully happy after my lesson and I go home singing to myself, sometimes I am profoundly miserable after my lesson and I slink back home for a little cry. We work so hard all week to try to improve, and on lesson day we are desperate to show the teacher how much we have learned and how hard we have worked and we can now do whatever it is....but is so much harder to do it in front of an expert audience and it never comes out quite the same in front of the teacher. Fortunately all teachers know this because they felt the same way in front of  their teachers.

Apologise if you think it is needed and then forget it.

Don't beat yourself up about it, start looking forward to the next lesson and have another go.


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#5 _DaVid_

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 22:16

I think it's necessary to accept a few things about taking piano lessons, or any other instrument:

You probably won't play as well as you can at home.

Don't be precious, the teacher's trying to help you.

You will probably get a ######ing at some point, suck it up.

You'll make mistakes you rarely, if ever, do at home.

My teacher asked me if I was ok this last lesson as if I had a mental breakdown or something, that's how my lesson went.

Keep calm and carry on.
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#6 Thepianist

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 23:59

Hang on in there Bleamy, I've had lessons where I've left feeling I'm not going to be able to ever play the piano then I think no I'm not giving up. Me and my teacher have a great relationship that she will be really encouraging then one lesson she will put me down a bit to make me work harder. I strive off this and work even harder you have just got to keep going. Don't give up Rome wasn't built in a day.
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#7 SwissPianoGirl

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 06:35

I have had three piano teachers over the course of 10 years since I returned to piano as an adult. The first, back in the the USA, I always left the lesson feeling like I was doing great and advancing rapidly. He never corrected my technique, let me make errors, and in reality I developed some pretty bad habits. Then I moved to another country and had a second teacher. She felt my technique was horrible, and did a lot to help me improve to a higher level. However she was highly critical, and I left many a lesson feeling like a complete failure. I started doing ABRSM exams to rebuild my foundation, though she was not in favor of exams. I moved to Spain last year, and started with my current teacher. This Is kind of a Goldilocks story: The first teacher was too soft, the second too  hard, and this one is just right. She can be very firm, and insists that everything is done correctly, but she does it in a way, that supports my fragile ego and leaves me feeling that I can solve any technical problem I might have. She is a joy to work with.

 

So I think it is very important that you look at the teacher-student relationship to be sure that the fit is good for you. Hopefully it is, and this was just a bad day. As adult students we often are too hard on ourselves. If the reason you feel bad after a lesson is that you know you can do better and are disappointed, then remember a teacher is there to teach. I think  a teacher wants to see where you make mistakes or struggle, so she/he can help you with the problems. HOW they approach that is key. I am sure she did not take your reaction personally. Hopefully the next lesson will go well! 


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#8 Bleamy

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 06:53

Thank you everyone for their support!!!

update:

I texted to my teacher she said she didn't take anything personally, she wasn't offended even the  slightest. (what a relief!)

I am not dropped from the lessons.


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#9 Flutery

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 07:53

I always look forward to my lesson, sometimes it goes really well and I can show my lovely teacher that I have followed his suggestions and practised playing. Other times it is as if I have never played at all and I stumble over easy notes and my breathing goes to pot. He knows that I put in a lot of effort, just that some days are like that and aren't perfect. He is critical but kind, and I take it on the chin. We have a mutual respect and I do try harder because of that, it spurs me on to do my best. I do want him to be critical so there is no point in arguing, that doesn't make it easy though. I'm glad to read you have contacted your teacher and everything is fine, good luck for your performance assessment on 28th.
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#10 violinlove

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 11:32

That's good Bleamy! I didn't think she would have taken it personally.

I should have mentioned in my first post above (though I didn't really have time when I wrote it), I spent a lot of time crying when I first took up the horn. ... crying at home, crying in the lessons etc...

Am still with the teacher nearly 5 years later!

 

Also, there would be something wrong with the teaching if the teacher only every said "Super, super" etc.


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#11 BadStrad

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 12:08

Music teachers (with a few years experience) are like mid-wives - they've heard it all and they've seen it all.  :)


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#12 cestrian

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 14:18

You're learning to do something that you cannot do and the teacher is your guide. Best piece of advice I was given was 'every once in a while, stop pressing your nose up against the glass and play something that's within your competence, and make it sound amazing.'

 

Otherwise, being uncomfortable is a necessary evil.


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#13 SheWhoDaresGins

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Posted 19 June 2017 - 15:28

Oh this is such an interesting topic!  I'm glad that you feel better now, Bleamy.  Don't be hard on yourself.  Its so frustrating when you've put time and effort in and you feel like you don't give your best during a lesson.  But I'm sure she understands.

 

I have often felt like some sort of over-emotional wreck during and after my lessons. I always look forward to them and have experienced the euphoric highs of a 'good' lesson where lots is achieved and the horror of actually bursting into tears during a lesson (less to do with actual lesson and more to do with real life ... but still... gahh!!!).

 

He (teacher) keeps coming back patiently every week so as others have said, I expect he has seen it all before.

 

I will say that I was chronically nervous to begin with - could barely play a note during any lesson and that was for more than a year.  But somewhere along the way, I stopped being nervous and I suppose appreciated what he could teach me if I could just tolerate his corrections/criticism for what they are, rather than a performance assassination. That helped a lot.  But it took me rather a long time.

 

Feeling comfortable with my teacher is essential - but I find it a unique sort of relationship having come to music lessons as an adult.  I suppose its not often, as adults, that we sit down in front of someone, and have to button-up and basically do as your told! 

 

I have often wondered if music teachers prefer teaching children because they are used to following instruction, probably learn new things more easily and are just less distracted by life, or whether the motivation and self discipline that adults have compensates for the dislike of criticism & self consciousness etc.

 

good luck in your next lesson - I hope its a good one!

 

 

 

 

 


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#14 sbhoa

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 16:43

Much as others have said. It varies.
As long as the criticism is helpful and followed up with how to fix the problem then it's fine.
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#15 Dharma

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Posted 22 June 2017 - 20:37

I've now been learning violin for three months, and I detect a subtle shift beginning to occur in my lessons.

Until recently, they have been extremely easy going, with lots of encouragement, and little or no criticism, or even much correction.

The least couple of lessons have been longer (45 minutes instead of 30), and they involve me spending much more time with fingers on instrument, and much less time talking.

Whilst there is still a tremendous amount of encouragement, there is now a subtle shift away from letting mistakes slide. There's more of "did that sound ok to you?", "did you notice anything about your little finger?", "how does your jaw feel?".

I love it :)

It gives me confidence in the sense that I feel I've reached a bit of a milestone, and now I've had my early kindergarten, and I have moved up to the heady heights of "year one", and can get on with the serious business of learning the alphabet and how to count.

It's exciting, exhilarating, and also somewhat daunting. It's still a load of fun as well. Which is nice.

So, after the last couple of classes, I've felt:

Tired
A little bewildered
A strong urge to write things down quickly
A little exhilarated
And with a clear vision of what I need to work on.
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