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pupil having lessons with another teacher


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#16 Norway

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Posted 07 February 2019 - 09:01

Exactly! And she made a seven year old complicit in the lie - that's a fine example to set to your child isn't it! Cheat and lie your way through life and don't respect others. As if a child is going to be able to cover up the truth long term anyway - especially one that young! I'm sure some of these people must think we're stupid or something!


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#17 Aquarelle

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Posted 07 February 2019 - 10:53

I would refuse but if the parent is a friend, refuse as nicely as possible. Just point out that you find it impossible to work in this way and ask the parent to choose. Tell her this is for the benefit of the child, that is your professional opinion and you can't chage it because your experience has taught you that two teachers is not the way to advance, and you do want the best for her child.


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#18 jenny

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Posted 07 February 2019 - 11:29

The biggest problem here is surely that the friend had already been advised that having two teachers was not a good idea, but she went ahead anyway. The fact that she is a friend makes the situation so much more awkward.


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#19 zwhe

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Posted 07 February 2019 - 11:36

Thank you for all your advice. I'm going to try and phone her, and give her the choice. I'm also going to see if I can understand why she did it - she obviously thought it would help in some way, and it would be useful to know what this was. It may be that she has paid for a terms lessons, in which case I might try and find a way of it working if she discontinues them after Easter - playing the same flute would certainly help! I feel I do need to tread carefully, as I play in a band with her (she sings) and don't want to fall out. but I also don't want to be taken advantage of. It has made me consider if I should refuse to teach friends and their families in the future. I have also updated my terms and conditions. They get longer each year!


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#20 HelenVJ

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Posted 07 February 2019 - 11:51

Yes, a conversation would be best. Is it possible that the child has freinds in the group, and so it was a sociable thing to do? Or maybe some pressure was put on them by the school? In any case, it's obviously very confusing for a 7-year-old to be playing on 2 different types of flute.  Does he practise on both types at home?
Hope you can sort this out. I've never found it necessary to add to my T and Cs, but I suppose there's always a first time.


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#21 Norway

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Posted 07 February 2019 - 11:53

I don't teach friends - and this one would fail Friend Quality Control I'm afraid! But sure, if you still have to play in a band with her and can laugh it off then forgive (but don't forget!)


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#22 zwhe

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Posted 09 February 2019 - 15:07

Thank you everyone - all sorted now! He's going with the school lessons. I get the impression they wanted to do that for convenience and were too awkward to say anything.


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#23 tangoallegro

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Posted 10 February 2019 - 13:25

I think many parents have a fear of their child missing out on opportunities. I have experienced this many times when private students have signed up for lessons at school and also when school pupils have organsed private tution. It often appears parents grow concerned that their child might ‘miss out’ if they aren’t having both types of tuition.
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#24 DMC

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Posted 11 February 2019 - 14:53

It's understandable that parents might think extra lessons are the key, when actually, the 30 minutes it would take to have that lesson would be better spent practicing the activities of the previous lesson.


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#25 Misterioso

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Posted 11 February 2019 - 17:47

I have a new pupil who I agreed to take on although she is having school lessons. She's keen, and is just part of a group in school, so the extra lessons seem to work well with her. We sometimes consolidate what she has done in school - particularly if she if finding anything tricky - but mostly work on other stuff, and I always ask her to let me know if the school music teacher and I have collectively managed to give her too much to practise. The other teacher and I are well-known to each other and appreciate where each other is coming from, so it can work.


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#26 Dorcas

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Posted 12 February 2019 - 06:44

The crucial difference, Misterioso, is you have good lines of communication with everyone involved.  Zwhe didn't.  I was presented with a tutor book covered in annotations by another teacher, and I was expected to carry on working through the same book.  The student was clearly confused by the situation, and I was gobsmacked the parent thought this was a good idea, although they denied other lessons were in fact taking place!  As long as everyone knows where they stand, that is fine.  It's when things are unclear, uncertain and unplanned that it all starts to unravel.


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